


Distance or happiness?

by 1_9_9_8



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Accidents, Domestic Bliss, F/M, Fluff, Physical Therapy, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 49,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29194545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1_9_9_8/pseuds/1_9_9_8
Summary: Following Matt and Sylvie’s life after an accident. Includes a ton of Stellaride and everybody else from the One Chicago universe.
Relationships: Stella Kidd/Kelly Severide, Sylvie Brett & Matthew Casey, Sylvie Brett & Stella Kidd, Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey
Comments: 75
Kudos: 162





	1. Cracks on the ceiling

**Author's Note:**

> The characters are not mine, all rights belong to NBC Wolf Entertainment.

SYLVIE's POV

I slam my car door shut and turn to 51. It’s the first shift since mine and Graig’s breakup. He was lovely and nice and not at all bad-looking. Still, something was missing. I felt what it was like to kiss the love of my life, or at least I thought so. I wasn’t sure if I’d find anyone that would make me feel like that again. Okay…. Getting a bit too depressing… I tried to shake the feeling. It was just clear that Casey didn’t love me, so I had to move on. Still, it wasn’t fair to Graig, so I called it off. The thing is, he knew it was about Casey. “I hope you guys figure it out” were his exact words and I was left standing in my flat. 

So, I walked my way inside and bumped into Mackey on her way out of the locker room. “Hey, I’ll go do the inventory before the morning briefing.” She said to me. 

“Yeah, sure. I’ll put my bag in my locker and I’ll be right there.” I answered back as I jogged to my locker. As I turned around the corned I slammed myself right into Matt who quickly grabbed my shoulders as I almost fell flat on my ass. 

“Brett!” He sounded almost happy but he changed his demeanour quickly as he let go of me and mumbled a quick “sorry” and walked away to his office were he spent most of his shifts nowadays.

I sighed and sat on the bench. Was it actually this f*cking hard? To move on? I didn’t feel this bad even when I broke of my engagements or when I broke up with Antonio. And me and Casey didn’t even date, we just kissed ONE time. So why can’t I move on? If we’d just have something to do, maybe this shift would go a bit quicker and I could go to bed and eat ice cream and watch some cheesy chick-flick. At least Severide and Kidd had made up. On my couch. Many times according to Stella. I cringed at the thought.

"Hey girl, you okay? You look a bit pale?" I heard Stella ask from the doorway.

"Yeah, I'm good. Didn't just sleep well." I tried to brush it off, but I know Stella and she would continue her interrogation

"Hun, I know there is something more than that. Is it about Graig?" 

"Yeah... Um... We kinda broke up I guess. I just didn't feel like my heart was in it you know." I tried to avoid eye contact. 

"Oh no... Are you serious? I thought it was going so well." Stella sat next to me

"Is it supposed to be this hard? Moving on I mean." I asked her and felt my eyes water. I blinked couple of times, trying to avoid crying at work.

"Moving on from Graig or..?"

"Moving on from Casey. I know it was just one misstep, one wine-filled kiss. But I can't get over it - or him - for some reason." I answered. "And he on the other hand doesn't seem to have any problem with that. I mean, he loves Gabby and doesn't love me but goes out with Sydney? What does she have that I don't?" I don't give Stella time to talk as I continue "I tell you what she doesn't have, she doesn't have all this history with him. So she can have him and make babies and..." I felt myself ramble on getting angrier and angrier at the thought.

"Okay, okay, listen to me Sylvie!!" Stella cut me off. "He isn't with her!! He went on ONE date. And since then he has moped in our apartment like a lost puppy, because you won't talk to him."

"What?" I looked at her with wide eyes.

"You are so dumb for a smart girl you know that... He is giving you space, because you wanted space. He wants to be with you." she sighed

"But he doesn't! He is still waiting for Gabby and I can't just be the second choice. I know he has feelings for me, but I want to be the one, not just a stop on the way." I looked at her.

Stella was about to argue back as the bells rang. 

Truck 81, Engine 51, Squad 3, Ambo 61. Hotel fire. 8118 North Ontario. All units respond. 

"We'll continue from here" she called back as we ran to our rigs with the rest of our crew.

MATT'S POV

As we drove closer and closer, I saw that the whole six-story building was in flames. “It’s rolling!” Kidd yelled next to me. 

“Okay, we don’t have a lot of time. Squad 3 start the preliminary search from the first floor, we’ll go to sixth and we’ll go down from there. Sound good?” I said to my radio. 

“Yeah, works for me. Let’s go.” Severide answered and we jumped from our rigs. I stole a quick glance at Sylvie before entering the building. It had become a habit I couldn't get rid of and it wasn't because of the lack of trying. But she had Graig now, who was coming here. I tried to brush off the little green eyed monster that was making an appearance again. 

I could hear other units approach the building as I put on my mask and instructed my people “Kidd, Mouch, you take the left side. We’ll take the right one. We go room to room. If people can walk tell them to walk to the exit, next units can take them outside.”

“Fire department! Call out” Gallo yelled inside as he made his way to the first bathroom and I checked the bedroom. “No one is here, let’s go to the next one!”

We made our way through the floor checking every room and I heard Boden talk to his radio “Truck 20 take the second floor. Truck 40 take the third. Squad 2 go to forth and truck 66 go to the fifth. We don’t have much time, the smoke is already turning black. The hotel is about half booked so you need to check every room.”

The hotel was booked alright. I felt like it took forever to go through the whole floor. Thankfully most of the victims were in good enough condition to walk downstairs with the help from other firefighters. There was still few victims we had to carry downstairs. A young woman, a tiny baby and her mother, a couple who were nearest to the fire's origin and finally an old married couple. By the end we were exhausted.

Me and Gallo were bringing the last victim from our floor, a nice old lady who couldn’t walk, when I spotted a man run back towards the hotel. I sat the woman quickly on the gurney of ambo 20 and turned to the man. 

“Christine! Christine! Where is she? Is she here?” He yelled and coughed as he was ran frantically across the yard. 

“Is there someone inside? Hey, is there someone inside?” I asked him grabbing his shoulders trying to stop him from running into the burning building. 

“Yes, yes. She is in the back office. It’s on the first floor, but you have to go there from the staircase.” He pleaded. “You need to get her. We are married. I can’t lose her.”

“Chief, there is a girl inside. First floor, back office.” I yelled. "Go and take a seat. You might have smoke inhalation." I ordered the man. 

“We don’t have much time.” Boden answered, but continued as he saw my face. I knew how that felt like. Being helpless when someone you love was in danger. I didn't think for a second that he wouldn't run straight to the fire if I'd let him go. “Fine, take someone, you have five minutes.”

I looked to my left at Grainger from 40 who just nodded. We pulled our masks on and turned to the building. The hall was filled with thick smoke. We passed Severide and Cruz as they were bringing a victim from the first floor. “First floor is clear chief.” I heard Severide call out to his radio as we made our way to the staircase. 

“Over there” I yelled to Grainger as I spotted the door and kicked it in.

“Fire-department, call out!“ Grainger yelled and spotted the victim unconscious on the floor “There!”

“I’ll take her legs, take her arms.” I said to Grainger who did exactly that and we started to walk towards the exit.

“Alright, I’m calling it. Evacuate the building. Casey and Grainger get out of there now.” I hear Boden’s voice from the radio. 

“Coming, chief.” I answered back, but then I heard a loud crack from above our heads.


	2. Self-destruction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey is rushed to med, but will they get there in time? Oh, and Kelly and Sylvie talk about love.

SYLVIE'S POV

All of a sudden a huge blast broke two windows sending Ritter and Herrmann who were near the entrance on their backs and everyone and everything went silent. Nearly forty firefighters and paramedics turned to the building as ash was settling on the grass. It felt like the time had stopped. I looked at Boden who tightened his grip on his radio. Matt and Grainger were still inside. 

“Mayday, Mayday. Structural collapse, firefighter down.” I heard Grainger’s voice and my heart jumped into my throat. If Grainger called out, it meant only one thing, it was Casey who was hurt. “I need someone to the first floor, near the exit. He’s unconscious. A beam dropped. I can’t get it off.” I felt my knees weaken and my eyes found Stella who looked back at me worriedly. 

“Severide, Cruz, go! Capp, Tony go help with the victim.” Boden yelled as the firefighters ran into the building. It took them less than two minutes to get Casey out, but it felt like ten. They carried the firefighter outside into our gurney. I could hear my heart pounding in my chest. He can’t die on me now. 

At some point his helmet had dropped and his mask was cracked. I just prayed the helmet was on when the beam dropped on him. Because of his previous head-injury this could be fatal. I pushed those thoughts out of my mind trying to focus on saving him. At that point Mackey had been able to take off the rest of his gear and I started to look for a pulse.

“He has a pulse!” One of the rocks on my chest dropped but it felt like there was still a mountain on it. “Mackey, we need to intubate him. Give me the kit and Kelly cut his shirt.” I ordered them and started working. He was unconscious so it wasn't hard, but working on someone close to you makes it always ten times harder. I breathed slowly trying to calm myself down. He needed me and I was going to save him. He jumped from a moving firetruck for me, I had to do this for him. 

“You’re in.” Mackey said when I had him intubated and the boys lifted him into the ambulance, Mackey went on the driver's seat and I sat in the ambo next to Matt. Thank god for that. I couldn’t drive right now knowing Matt’s condition. 

I met Greg’s eyes as I held Matt's hand and nodded quickly as medics from firehouse 20 started to look at the cut he had on his head. He mouthed quickly “tell him” and smiled weakly. 

“Go with your man Wallace, we got this.” I heard a chief from another house tell Boden. Kelly sat next to me and shut the doors. I ordered him to push air into his lungs so he’d have something to do instead of worrying for the whole ride. 

In the ambo I started to work on the nasty laceration on his forehead. Even with a helmet it looked bad. I looked at Severide who looked more worried than I had ever seen him. The two of them have always been together. Like brothers. “He’s going to be okay, right?” He asked me quietly as he pumped air into his lungs.

“Umm… yes… of course…” I heard myself mumble in response as tears formed in my eyes. Damnit. I can’t lose my focus now. He needs me. “How long Mackey?” I yelled through the window to our driver. He needed the hospital. 

“Couple of minutes!” Mackey answered back.

“He’ll be just fine.” I tried to calm myself and Kelly down, but my voice broke in the middle of the sentence. I stroke his cheek with my right hand and swiped my tears with my left hand. It was three months ago when we kissed. For three months I tried to move on. We had different lives and interacted as little as possible at work. I hadn’t even seen him at Molly’s anymore. Was Kidd right? Did he really go on just one date with Sydney? All of these questions circled in my head as we sat in silence. 

Finally we arrived to the hospital and Kelly jumped out of the ambulance. We pushed Matt’s gurney inside and I spotted Maggie at the door. 

“It’s Casey. Trauma to the head. Lost consciousness, but his pulse is strong.” I said to her as her eyes focused on Matt. Everyone here knew and respected Matt. It was hard for anyone to see him like this. 

“Halstead! Take him straight to the OR.” Maggie called out as Will was just walking towards us.

Nurses came at the same time and started to run down the towards the glass doors. The whole team was working. I knew he’d be in good hands, but I just couldn’t let go of his hand. Mackey stayed behind waiting for the rest of 51 as me and Severide ran next to Matt and the doctors. "This has happened to him before Will..." I said to him trying to control myself in front of the doctors.

“We know. Now you need to stay here” dr. Halstead stopped me and Severide at the door. “We’ll take good care of him.” 

We saw Matt disappear behind the doors and I leaned on the wall and sat on the floor with my whole body shaking. I could feel my eyes fill with tears. I can’t go through this again. I can’t lose yet another friend. Who am I kidding? I can’t lose the man I love.

“Hey, Sylvie. You okay?” I heard Severide ask as he laid his hand on my shoulder. 

“Nothing is okay Kelly.” I answered. “He was just doing his job. And now he is lying in a hospital bed, maybe forever. His head can’t take this you know.” I was full on sobbing now. “You know. I broke up with Greg yesterday. I thought that I could move on from Matt if I just didn’t talk to him all the time. I know he wants to be with Gabby, but I just… I love him Kelly. I can’t help myself.” I heard myself open up to him even though we don’t really talk that much. 

“Hey, hey. Don’t think like that. He will be fine. You guys will be fine.” Severide tried to calm me down looking a bit dumbfounded as I poured my heart out. He sat next to me and continued. “You do know he loves you right?”

What?? My thoughts were apparently clear on my face since he continued.

“Look… Casey is a smart guy but he is really dumb when it comes to stuff like this. He has been hurt so many times that he self destructs automatically when something good is staring right at him. He doesn’t think he deserves you. He thinks you’d be better off without him.” I stared at him with my mouth open. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him talk this much. “You just need patience with him. Talk to him after this. He isn’t thinking about Gabby anymore. He just thinks you don’t want him, so he found a way to push you away.”

“Severide I don’t… He said…” I was lost for words. Does he really think that? 

“I know what he said. He told me. He also said that you have been the only one on his mind.” Severide looked at me. “He puts everyone else's needs above his own even after all these years. He did it with Gabby and with every friendship he has had. I mean, he puts my happiness above all else also. It's who he is. But you know someone else that does that?" Kelly asked, but I just stared at him. 

"You. You are two of the most unselfish and kind people I know and that is why I know you'd be great together." he smiled at me. "But you guys can talk when he pulls through. And don’t tell him I said this. I’ll deny this conversation if you say anything. He doesn’t want me to meddle, but I think you two need the push.”

“Umm… Okay. I won’t say anything.” I was admittedly a bit confused. What the hell is going on? And since when have I talked about my love life with Kelly Severide? 

After a moment of pure silence I continued our conversation "I heard that things are better between you and Stella?" 

"Yeah... Much better. Me and Casey, we are too similar. At least when it comes to things like this, sabotaging our relationships..." Kelly answered and smiled a little.

"I know, but you and Stella are meant to be together." I smiled back and bumped my shoulder against his. "I am really happy for you guys."

"Thanks Brett. This is really not the best time but if you want a distraction, I have one." Kelly started cryptically.

"Tell me, tell me, tell me!" I chanted. I'm horrible with secrets, but I love them.

"I bought a ring." he smirked. "I'm not getting any younger and when she passes her lieutenants-exam next week I'm going to decide a day. I won't propose the same day, it can be about her accomplishment. So... Some day after that."

"Are you kidding me? That's awesome! I am soo happy for you Kelly! You deserve the world!" I exclaimed. With two busted engagements and a shitty love life, my heart still bursted with the news, I can't help it, I'm a romantic.

"And again... You can't say anything to anyone! Nobody other than Casey knows about this okay?" 

"Yes, yes... I can keep my mouth shut you know." I looked at Kelly.

"Wasn't so sure. You talk so much." he said and earned yet another bump on his side. “Now we need to get up and go see the others.” He stood up and took my hands.

And so we walked together to the waiting room and sat next to Kidd who took my hand and I leaned on her. By then everyone was already there, Boden had taken 51 out of service so we could wait for news about Casey. 

"How are you doing girl?" Stella asked me quietly. 

"I'm alright, considering. It's just... Hard, you know. We've been here before. With Otis I mean. Sitting here, praying." I answered back.

"Yeah, we have. But we both know that this isn't like that for you. I know you love him." she whispered back at me and squeezed me into a tight hug. I let a couple of tears fall as I covered my face in her turnout coat. 

"Thanks, Stella." I slowly let go of her and leaned my elbows into my knees and buried my face into my hands. I could feel the stares and I didn't want to draw too much attention to me. So we sat in silence but I felt Stella's hand on my back. Helping me ground myself.

After a while Cindy Herrmann came with Cruz’s wife Chloe. Cindy placed a soft kiss on her husbands cheek. “He is a fighter. He’ll be okay.” She said trying to reassure him and partly herself too. 

“Yeah. Too many trips to this waiting room.” Herrmann answered and they both sat down holding hands. 

That’s what I want, I thought. Husband, house, kids, the whole package. Was Severide right? Is Casey really in love with me. And if he was, why couldn’t he just say something back then. All of these thoughts ran through my head as I stared into nothing. It felt like we had sat there forever when Boden finally had enough and he stood up and walked to the front desk.

“Maggie, what is going on?” I heard Boden ask her. 

“I don’t know" Maggie answered and looked around seeing the whole room filled with worried firefighters. "But I’ll go check if I can find out.” She continued and so she disappeared through the same doors they had taken Casey a little while ago. 

I snapped out of my thoughts couple of minutes later when Stella tapped my back as Maggie came back. Everyone stood up at once and the whole room turned towards her, waiting for answers. I could feel my pulse quicken and I tightened my grip on Stella's hand. 

“He has an epidural hematoma and he is in emergency surgery, Will is operating. That is all I can say for now. It might be a while.” Maggie updated us. The whole room was silent. You could’ve heard a pin drop. I felt my knees weaken and I dropped back to my seat. Was this it? I couldn’t get my happy ending? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do love a good cliffhanger. Maybe I can fit some Casey in the next chapter...if he just wakes up..  
> Positive feedback is always appreciated ;)!


	3. Waking up?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 51 waits for news as their captain is in surgery.

SYLVIE’S POV

We had sat in the waiting room for hours. Maggie had tried to usher us home couple of times, but her efforts fell short. After a while she gave up and decided to let us be. Donna had come after her workday was over and so did Trudy. Both women sat next to their husbands. Donna brought little Terrance with her to cheer the spirits. I hadn’t moved since we got there. 

Severide called Casey’s sister Christie and she and her daughter came to the hospital about an hour later. 

“Hi Kelly. Thanks for calling.” I heard a beautiful woman say as she hugged Severide. “Is he still in surgery?”

“Yeah. It might take a while.” He answered. 

“What the hell happened? How are we in a hospital again??” 

“He was rescuing the last victim and a beam dropped on his head. We got him out fairly quickly, but he has an epidural hematoma. The same he had the last time this happened.” Kelly sighed. “But he’ll be fine. He is too stubborn to not pull through.” Kelly’s words earned chuckles from us. That’s what I was telling myself, desperate to calm my nerves. 

“Yeah… That he is. But it’s good to see you Kelly, I just wish it was under different circumstances.” Christie smiled.

“I know. It’s been long since we saw each other. And too long since I saw you, Violet. Case talks about you a lot, but I didn’t think you’d be this big already!” He smiled at the young woman next to his sister. 

“Oh shut up Kelly… I didn’t think you’d be this old already.” Violet laughed at him and earned a little pinch from her uncles best friend. At least she had spunk I smirked. 

“This is my girlfriend, Stella.” Kelly introduced Kidd, who stood up. 

“Wow! Didn’t think I’d live to see the day the infamous Kelly Severide was in a stable relationship!” Christie laughed and shook Stella’s hand. “You must really be something!”

“Oh I am something alright. This one is just a big teddybear nowadays.” Kidd joked and Kelly poked her side. Christie and Violet laughed. 

Slowly I stood up and extended my hand “Hi. I don’t think we have met. I’m Sylvie, Brett. I umm.. Work with Casey.” I stumbled on my words. Way to make the first impression Sylvie… 

“Oh Sylvie is it” Christie smiled and winked at Violet. “It is nice to meet you.” She shook my hand.

“Hi Sylvie, uncle Matt talks about you a lot.” Violet emphasised the words ‘a lot’ and hugged me.

“Oh… Yeah… We are… We are good friends.” I smiled. “Sit down you guys.” I continued and sat at my spot next to Stella. What just happened…? 

The others went on shaking their hands and introducing themselves and saying hi to Matt’s family. 

“Talks about you a lot now does he…?” Stella whispered and smirked at me.

“Oh shut up… He talks about all of us…” I tried to shush her.

“Whatever you say…”

Then Violet sat next to me “So it’s nice to finally meet you. I feel like I already know you though, he really does talk about you a lot…” Violet started, but she was interrupted by a voice from behind us.

“Hi everyone.” I heard Will say and we all stood up. “The surgery went well, but we won’t know anything for sure until he wakes up. And that may take a while. Just be patient.” He tried to tell us, knowing that we weren’t very good at just staying still and waiting. Our job was taking action, walking to burning buildings and accidents. Letting someone else do the job wasn’t our strength. 

“Can we see him?” Christie asked Will.

“Sure, but maybe just two at a time.” Will answered. 

“You guys go” I said to Christie and Violet and they followed Will into Matt’s room.

I sighed and sat on my chair. He’ll be fine. The surgery went well so he’ll be fine. Right? That’s what he said? I tried to hold myself together but out of nowhere a huge wave of nausea hit me like a firetruck. I got up hastily and I ran to the nearest toilet. I made it just in time before I threw up. 

“Sylvie, you okay?” I heard Stella’s voice from the doorway as she locked the bathroom door. “And we should eat something. It’s afternoon and we missed our breakfast.”

“Yeah… Nerves…” I answered wiping my mouth and flushing the toilet. What the hell, I thought to myself. 

“I get it. It has been a rough start to our shift.” She rubbed my back. 

“Yeah… Thanks..” I stood up and splashed water on my face before leaning to the sink. 

“But he will be okay. And that’s good. You’ll get your chance to talk when he wakes up.” Stella smiled and rubbed my back. 

“Yeah… I’m just trying to figure out what to say. You guys have revealed too much today that I don’t know what to believe anymore.” I sighed.

“You really didn’t know that he loves you?” Stella asked and I answered with a glare. “Honey, it was so obvious that we thought you just didn’t want him anymore. That’s why we didn’t say anything. Plus you were with Greg, might I add.”

“Well I didn’t, I mean I don’t. I mean I don’t know. I love him, I know that, but that was never the problem. And I know he has feelings for me, he told me that himself. The problem is what is he going to do about it. I just want him to want me for me. And only me. Not me because he can’t have someone else…” I felt myself ramble on.

“I think that you need to tell him exactly that. I don’t think he has no idea how you feel. Boys can be so dumb after all.” Stella chuckled. 

“Yeah… You would know considering you slept at my place for few weeks just couple of months ago.” I laughed

“And that is how I know. Those two are the worst at communicating.”

“I know… I think we should head back there. People will start talking.” I sighed heading back to the waiting room. Everyone looked at me worriedly before turning back to each other and I sat back down. Could this get any more embarrassing. 

“Here’s some water kiddo. And eat something. Cindy brought back some food.” Herrmann handed me a water bottle and I picked up a bread. 

“Thanks Herrmann.” I looked at him and smiled weakly. 

I looked at the bread. I still felt nauseous and even though I knew I should eat something I couldn’t. So for about ten minutes I just sat there, with my bread and my water bottle, looking like a damn lost puppy. If it were any other day, I think I’d be mocked for the rest of my life. But now, nobody commented anything about my seriously puffy, red eyes and crimson cheeks. 

After a while Christie and Violet came back and nodded at me “He’s still out, but you can go and see him.” 

I looked at others questioning if someone else wanted to go first.

“I can come with you.” Severide looked at me and I stood up walking behind him to Matt’s room.

“Go inside. I’ll be right there” I said to Severide and leaned to the wall breathing heavily. 

“No, Brett. Come on inside. You need to sit.” Kelly practically dragged me inside.

I sat on the chair next to him and took his hand into mine, Kelly stood next to me. The whole room was quiet except for the machines that measured his heart rate. And yet again I felt tears form in my eyes. I was amazed I had some left since I had cried basically whole day.

It took about half an hour of uncertainty until Matt started to open his eyes slowly and he looked at me looking a bit confused. “Hi, how are you feeling?” I asked him.

“Umm.. My head hurts a bit… What the hell happened. What are you doing here? Is Greg okay?” Casey asked and his eyes burned a hole through me. Right… Graig… What do I say…

Thankfully Kelly saved me. “A beam dropped on your head. Again. You had emergency surgery. Again. And Graig is okay.” He recapped the mornings antics. 

Casey looked at Kelly, then me and then Kelly. “Okay… Umm…” I could see him trying to connect the dots. 

“I’ll ask for Will to come by” Kelly added after a moment of silence walking out of the room. I turned my focus back to Matt who looked at me. 

“So…” he started.

“You don’t get to scare me like that Matt Casey!” I blurted out and bursted in tears all at once. I could feel his grip tighten as he brushed my hand with his thumb.

“Sylvie… I’m okay.” He said looking at me with that solemn Matt Casey look.

“Yeah… I know… I just don’t know what I would do if something happened to you. I need you in my life.” I continued wiping the tears from my face. “You looked so… helpless. Promise me you don’t do this again.”

“I can’t…” he started.

“No you promise me! I can’t go every day wondering if another beam will drop on your head or if I need to intubate you in the field again. You need to promise me.” I pleaded.

“I promise you.” I could hear him answer but his words didn’t quite register in my head. 

“But Sylvie…”

“Yes?” I asked. What was he going to say?

“You can leave.”

What?? He wants me gone? 

He apparently saw the confusion on my face. “I mean you don't have to stay. I’m fine. I think Grainger is going to worry if you hang in here…” he said taking his hand back sighing, giving me a weak smile. Right… He didn’t know. What do I do?

“Matt, I broke up with Greg.” His brows furrowed and he looked at me confused. It was the same look he had when I blurted out 'it’s always been you’ after the ambo-crash. Oh yes… that infamous crash. How was it that we couldn’t say anything to each other until at least one of our lives was in peril. I could feel my cheeks redden again. Why does that happen every time? 

“I umm…” He started but at the same time the door opened and Will walked in. 

“So how are we doing?” Will looked at him smiling.

“Uh, yeah, good. Considering.” Matt answered but his eyes stayed glued to mine. 

“Okay, let’s take some tests, shall we. You guys can go wait outside, this will take a while.” Halstead said to me and Severide who leaning on the doorframe, looking at me, smirking. 

“I’ll be back.” I said on my way out. Bumping my shoulder to Kelly. “Oh shut up.”

“So… You talked?” He asked on our way back to the waiting room. 

“Well not so much. I told him about the breakup, but then you came in so. I don’t know. Maybe it’s for the best. I don’t know where I was going with that conversation.” I answered him.

“Okay… Well this is a start.” Kelly whispered me before talking to 51 as we reached them. “He’s awake. Will is taking some tests at the moment but it all seemed okay, didn’t it Brett?” Severide bumped his shoulder against mine and smirked at me. And all eyes drifted to me. Damnit Kelly…

“Uhh… Yes. He seemed okay. Considering.” I mumbled and sat quickly on the chair, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone.

“I should’ve known. All it took was Sylvie for him to wake up.” Christie laughed and I could feel my cheeks warming up to fifty shades of red. 

MATT’S POV

They broke up? She was single? And she was here? In my room? Holding my hand? Did I have a concussion when the beam dropped? Am I dreaming right now?

“Casey, could you focus for a moment? I’ll let your girl back in a moment, but I need you to follow my finger right now.” Will smirked at me.

“Oh no, she isn’t. I mean we aren’t. She is not my girl.” I tried to get the words out.

“Really? That’s not what I heard.” 

Umm what… He heard? Where? You could clearly see the shock on my face since he tried to explain himself.

“I just mean. Nurses talk a lot and Maggie told me that something was going on between you two.” 

“Nooo, there isn’t. I mean we are just friends.”

“Huh…” he shrug his shoulders. 

“What huh?” I harrowed my brows.

“It’s just. You two look like a couple. I mean she has been a mess waiting for you and then the hand-holding and all.” Will talked to me continuing his tests. “Plus the way you looked at her. It looks like there’s something there.”

“Well there isn’t. We are just friends”

“So you said.”

“I mean it… Just. Friends.” I glared at him. I mean we were just friends. Friends who kissed once and haven’t talked since last year. Super good friends I sighed…

“Okay… Well… Whatever you say. Can you now wiggle your toes for me?” Will asked me and I did as I was told, but he for some reason repeated his question. “Casey, wiggle your toes.” 

“Yes, I am. I am wiggling them right?” I could hear the panic in my own voice. I was moving my feet?? This can’t be happening. I’m supposed to be fine. “Right?”

“Casey…” Will started and I could see the worry in his face. Are. You. F*cking. Kidding. Me??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo... This ended up a bit longer than what I was aiming for. 
> 
> Hope you like it!


	4. Is Faith Enough?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Casey going to be able to move his legs? How will he take all of this?

MATT’S POV

You have got to be kidding me? I can’t move my legs? 

“Casey, do you hear me?” Will was trying to get my attention. 

“Yes, I can hear you.” I sighed and turned my eyes back to him. 

“Casey. Listen to me. I think this will be temporary, but nothing is for sure. I need for you to stay calm and we will see how this goes. We’ll do some tests later, if we need to.” He tried to calm me with little success. 

“Okay.” I cringed. I know I should be happy that I’m alive, but for a firefighter this is annoying as hell. Who am I kidding. It’s unbearable. I try my hardest not to explode and yell at Will. 

“Okay. I’m going to let you rest now. Do you want me to update the rest or do you want to tell them yourself?” Will asked me. 

“No. I can tell them later, but you can drive the guys away now. I’m alive and that’s enough. They should go back to work.” I sighed. “You can take my halligan and smack them with it if they resist” I offered.

“Okay. I’ll do that.” Will chuckled and left me alone. “I’ll be back in an hour or so.”

I didn’t respond anything. What is going on? A f*cking beam dropped and I may not be able to move again. What do I have if I can’t move? It isn’t just firefighting, it’s also my construction-business. I am always active. Always. Staying in a wheelchair for the rest of my life is my version of hell. Stay calm he said… How the hell am I supposed to stay calm???

And the other thing, what was Sylvie talking about. She is single now? Does that mean that she is going to give me a second chance. Or is she just as mad at me as she was few months ago. And how was I supposed to win her over from a hospital bed. If she was better off without me couple of months ago, I think it’s safe to say that she is better off without me now. I was getting frustrated. If I could I’d punch something. But I can’t because I can’t stand. F*ck. My. Life.

“Hey you…” I could hear Sylvie’s voice from the door. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah… Sure…”

“How are you feeling? Will sent everyone back to 51 per your request.” She sat on the chair next to me. 

“I’m okay. Why didn’t you go?” I asked her

“I umm… I wanted to stay. Mackey has another PIC with her for the time being, I’ll go there later.” She answered. “But you don’t seem okay. Come on Matt. I can see that something is bothering you. Something other than this accident.” Damn… Was I so easy to read. But then again, even when we weren’t ‘us’ we still had that connection. 

“I can’t move my feet.” I mumbled as a response and for some reason I felt my eyes start to fill with tears. 

“What?”

“I can’t move my feet okay! I can’t stand up! Hell, I can’t even move my toes!” I almost yelled. “Sorry… I just…” I tried to backpedal. I haven’t yelled in a long time and never at her. Am I seriously messing this up again? Yelling at her. Starting a fight right now. Okay, now I wanted to punch myself…

“Matt. It’s okay. You can be upset.” She took my hand again. I had to admit, Matt had a nice ring after she had called me ‘captain’ for couple of months. And she didn’t get mad at me?? Even when I yelled at her: Well not at her, but near her. “Does Will think it will go away or..?” She asked.

“Maybe. He isn’t sure.” I mumbled my response. 

“That’s good. Maybe is better than no.” She looked at me and for the first time in what felt like forever our eyes connected and it felt like we were us again. It felt like we were back at Molly’s listening Gallo rant about the ambo-accident. The urge to kiss her was huge. This, this is what I want. Forever. 

“So you broke up?” It’s now or never Casey. 

“Yeah… I realised I still had feelings for someone else. He realised that too.” Sylvie answered and smiled at me a little. 

“I…” I started to talk but she cut me off.

“We can talk about this later. I can see your eyes are starting to close and you are yawning. The medicines they gave you make you sleepy, I checked with Will. And I don’t want you to fall asleep in the middle of our conversation”. She assured me and I gave her a smile. She was right. I was tired as hell, which was weird since I’d been out for most of the day. But I’ll get to talk to her. It’s not much, but it’s progress. Slowly I drifted off.

* * *

It was couple of hours later when I woke up feeling Sylvie’s head on my lap and her hand linked with mine. I could get used to this. Right on cue Will entered the room. “Hey, you’re awake. Let’s look at those legs now, shall we.” He talked quietly trying not to wake Sylvie.

“Yeah, umm, just a second.” I responded. “Sylvie, hey, Will is going to take some tests. And you haven’t eaten anything for hours. Go and eat. Actually, go home and eat. I’ll be fine.”

“No, I’m not going home. Not until we know what’s going on. Plus I ate a sandwich when Will took the last tests.” She insisted and stood up letting Will come to her place.

“Okay, let us get started. So. Let’s try those toes again shall we.” Will smiled me.

And so I took a deep breath and tried. 

But nothing. 

I couldn’t see what was going on, but I could see in in their faces. Sylvie looked at Will with a worried look.

“Okay. We don’t have to worry yet. It might still take a while. I’ll come back again and if this continues we can take a closer look at what’s the problem. Look. I’m going to be frank with you. Paralysis is a possible outcome of this surgery. But that is one of those bridges we cross only if we come to it.” I could feel my eyes start to water… The rest of his sentence went in from one ear and out of the other. Paralysis?? “But. This can also be because of your medication.”

At that point I couldn’t even look at Will or Sylvie. I could hear Sylvie thank Will and he promised to come back in an hour or so. 

And so we were alone again. I was so mad I couldn’t even look at her and instead I punched the nearest thing I could find which was the wall behind me. I could feel the searing pain in my knuckles. At least I could move my hands. That was something right…?

“Hey… Hey… Matt. Look. We are not going to panic now. There is a good chance that this is just because of the medication.” She said as she sat on my bed taking my bruised hand in hers. “You just need to have a little faith.”

All I could do was nod as a tear fell down my cheek which she quickly wiped off. 

Us. It felt easy. Like these three months hadn’t happened. I knew we had to talk later and this could be too good to be true, but for now. All I needed was her. 

As I looked at her I could feel my heart rate slow down and this peace fell in my room.

“Matt, do you still want me to go?” She asked 

“No.”

And so she sat on my bed and laid next to me putting her head on my chest. There wasn’t a need for words. It was just the two of us. And slowly I could feel myself fall asleep.

SYLVIE’S POV

I started to wake up and I glanced at the clock. It was almost eight in the evening. We had slept for hours. I guess it was to be expected because of the hectic morning, but still. It took me while to realise where I was and more specifically whose chest I was sleeping on. A blush rose on my cheeks and my heart rate started to rise. We hadn’t talk in couple of months and now we were sleeping together. That sounds bad, I cringed. I mean we slept in the same bed but there was no kissing or anything. But still… in the same bed. This felt easy. Like this was what I was supposed to do the rest of my life. I hadn’t felt this kind of serenity in a long time.

I slowly lifted my head trying to see if Matt was awake. And sure enough he was looking at me. Again with that solemn Matt Casey look. He smiled and said “Hi, did you sleep well?”

I yawned and smiled back. “Yeah, surprisingly well after what happened today. You?” I started to sit up.

“Me too, I’m really glad you stayed Sylvie.” He smiled back at me stroking my arm. “But… It seems like I can’t still move my legs, I’ve tried time and time again.” My heart sunk for him. I knew how bad he must feel because of this. How could I make this better? I couldn’t think of anything…

“Oh Matt… We’ll get through this. Okay.”

“We… that sounds nice.” He replied.

“Yeah, it does, doesn’t it.” I smiled back but before I could say anything more, Will walked in. Good timing…

“Hey, how did you two sleep?” He asked and smiled at the both of us. 

“Good, I still can’t move my legs though.” Matt answered him with a sigh.

“Okay. What I want to do now is some more tests so we can figure out where is the problem. Sound good?” Will explained. “This will take couple of hours so if you want, you can go to 51 and sleep in your own bunk Brett.”

“Yeah… I think I’ll do that. You let me know as soon as you know anything.” I told him. “Do you want me to tell the others or?”

“Actually, that would be great.” Matt answered me as he nurses came in to take him upstairs. “I don’t want to see their faces when they hear about this... I hate the pity party.”

“Okay… you call me then.” I said as I gathered my things from the chair on the other corner of his room.

“Be safe Sylvie!” I could hear Matt’s voice from behind. 

“Always.” I said back before ordering an uber to get me back to work. What. A. Day.

* * *

In a while I was standing on the apparatus-floor in the middle of the rigs, counting to ten before walking inside. 

“Hey guys.” I smiled at them. The whole house was eating supper so all eyes turned to me. Kelly stood up and walked towards me.

“How is he?”

“Umm… Yeah… So good news and bad news. He is doing great, we - I mean he - slept a little and the stats are looking good.” I smiled before continuing with the bad news. “But he can’t move his legs.” And again, you could hear a pin drop. A silence filled the kitchen and everyone looked desperate. I could see the same ‘I want to punch something’ -look at Kelly’s face that was on Matt’s a little while back.

“What do you mean? Like not at all?” Herrmann asked

“Yeah… Like not at all…” I sighed. “It might be temporary but they are doing some further testing at the moment. He’ll let us know as soon as he does, but he wanted me to update you.”

“Thank you Brett” Boden said. “It’s good that you were there with him. He must be pretty miserable.”

“Yeah… These aren’t exactly the news you want to hear, but he’s alive and that’s the main thing.” I hugged our chief.

MATT’S POV

They had taken an MRI and a CT-scan and some other tests I didn’t really know and now I was back in my room, waiting for the results. I tried to breathe slowly and think about anything else. Waiting was insufferable. Thankfully I didn’t have to wait for too long when Will opened the doors and walked next to my bed.

“Matt…” the tone told me that the news weren’t good. “Unfortunately you are suffering from paraplegia, which means that you are paralysed from the waist down. It is one of the possible complications when it comes to these kind of accidents. I’m sorry I don’t have better news, but this is what we are dealing with.”

I could feel my throat close up. 

“Are you with me Casey?” I could hear him ask and all I could do was nod. 

“Okay. Let’s talk about how we are going to continue. It seems like you have still some control within your legs and so we will focus on physical therapy. I know, this is hard and dr. Charles will visit you when I leave, but that’s all we can do right now.” Will told me the situation.

“Can I umm… just be alone for a moment?” I turned back to Will. 

“Yes, of course. I’ll tell dr. Charles that he can come later. Rest now okay.” Will tapped my shoulder before walking out of the room. 

I can’t believe this. I had faith before, but it all had went away in just few minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I had to come up with some medical-lingo and I really am not fluent in Grey's anatomy. Heh...  
> So hopefully you medical experts don't have a heart attack reading this!


	5. Worthy of Love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey talks to dr. Charles.

MATT’S POV

So there I was... Paralysed in my hospital-bed. I felt numb. Like I was so angry that I didn't feel anything anymore.

“Hello Matt, can I come in?” I could hear dr. Charles ask from the doorway.

“Yeah, sure.” I mumbled and tried to fake a smile. Apparently not very well since I swear I could see a smidgen of pity in his eyes. “How come you are here at this hour? It’s almost twelve at night?” I asked. 

“You know, when duty calls, I come.” He smiled. So apparently my condition needed emergency-therapy also. Super!

“I know this is frustrating and not the way you expected this day would go, but may I ask how are you feeling?”

“Umm… Well my head hurts a bit and I still can’t move my legs but otherwise I’m feeling awesome!” My answer dripping of sarcasm.

“I know what your medical chart says, I’m asking how are you feeling? Besides of the obvious anger.” He continued with a gentle smile. I’d feel a lot better if I could be alone I thought, but best not to say that out loud.

“Yeah, pissed off mostly.”

“I can only imagine.” He sighed. 

“If you don’t mind, I’d rather be alone until you guys are ready to do what ever you need to do to get me home.” I puffed. 

“I get it Casey, I really do, but one of the most important things is getting your mindset right.” Dr. Charles explained. “I can go and come back later. But you have been warned, we will make this almost a daily thing at the beginning. Your condition needs, not only physical therapy, but also just normal therapy. I know that isn’t up your alley, but it needs to be this time. It will take time to get you in to the place that you can live at home on your own.”

“Okay doc…” I mumbled in response. “Hey, could you do me a favour. I really don’t feel like seeing people so if anyone comes by to check on me, could you just say I can’t see anyone?” I asked when he was about to step out of my room.

“Are you sure? Have you told them what’s going on.” He asked me.

“Yes I am and no I have not. They will find out soon enough.”

“Okay. Remember that they have your best interest at heart, talking to them might help. But get some rest now. We’ll talk in the morning.” He drew the curtains in front of my room and I got my moment of peace. I know I said that I’d update them when I knew something, but I really wasn’t up for it. I was pissed off, like I’ve never been before. That evening was a blur. I couldn’t sleep so I stayed awake until about five in the morning when I finally drifted off. 

SYLVIE’S POV

It was almost morning. The night had been quiet, no calls other than one for the engine. The mood was depressing. We were one man short. And it effected the whole house. 

“Hey, has Casey messaged yet?” I could hear Kelly ask from the doorway when I sat in the kitchen staring at my coffee-mug. All eyes turned to me.

“No… And it’s been many hours since he had those tests taken. You’d think he knows something by now…”

“Okay. I think I’ll stop by after shift with Stella.” He said before turning back to walk to his office.

“Yeah, I think that would be good. I’ll come with you.” I said quickly.

“Hey Brett, come here for a moment! I could hear Kidd holler from the doorway and I followed her. 

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked her whilst she dragged me to Casey’s office that she was using as she was acting lieutenant when Casey was away.

“What’s up she asks… What’s going on with you and Casey? When we talked under 24 hours ago you yelled at me that he should have babies with another woman and now you spend a whole evening at his hospital room?” She asked me.

“Uhh yeah… That’s a good question… I don’t know, we didn’t talk and everything is a mess” I sighed sitting on Matt’s bed. 

“What kind of mess? And you were there for the whole evening, why didn’t you talk?”

“We slept… And before you can say anything, I know that we should’ve talked about that before, but it just… felt easy. Like that argument never happened and we were ‘us’ again. I still don’t know if anything will come out of this or was it just that moment, but it felt good.” I answered Stella.

“Okay… So you two love each other but you can’t admit that to each other? Healthy.”

“Well… apparently so. I’ll stop by the hospital when our shift is over.” I tried to convince her.

“Okay, but I’m counting on it.” She smiled at me before turning back to her materials.

* * *

Last couple of hours went quickly and soon enough I was walking towards the hospital with Kelly and Stella. 

“Hey, where’s Casey’s room?” Severide asked Maggie, who was starting her shift.

“Uhh… Let me see.” She answered and started to look at her iPad, but we heard an answer from someone else.

“Hey. Actually Casey can’t see anyone at the moment.” Dr. Charles walked behind us. 

“He couldn’t or he wouldn’t?” I knew Casey well enough to know his state of mind after something like this and based on Kelly’s expression, I was right. 

“I’ll tell him that you came by.” Dr. Charles answered on his way out of the room. 

We quieted. So he wouldn’t. Not even us. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me. He’s always like this. Shutting people off when he’s hurt.” Kelly sighed as did we a U-turn back outside. I couldn’t even say anything. 

“He’ll talk when he’s ready. Just call and text him so that he knows that we’re here for him.” Stella tried to assure us. “That’s all we can do if he doesn’t want us inside.”

Well, the ‘talking about us’-chat will have to happen some other time I thought, but made a mental note that I’d text him when I got home. I needed sleep and to be honest I needed wine. And lots of it…

MATT’S POV

“Hey, you are up. Did you get breakfast?” I could hear dr. Charles ask from my doorway. 

“Umm, yeah. I ate.” I answered. 

“You had visitors, but I turned them back.” He said quietly, sitting on the chair in my room.

“Okay, thank you.” I couldn’t face them right now.

“So let’s talk for a moment. Your physical therapist will come by in an hour or so, and you can talk about your plan then. But now we’ll talk about your mind.” Great, talking. That should be awesome, I thought rolling my eyes. 

“So, did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, well no, but I slept during the day so that was to be expected.” I sighed as an answer. 

“Okay. If that keeps on happening, I can give you a description for some sleep-medicine.” Charles told me. “How are you feeling now?” 

“I’m okay. Pretty angry but again that is to be expected.” I answered sarcastically.

“Yeah, I can see that.” He answered. “So, let’s go over what happened.”

“Well, me and Grainger were doing the final save and a beam dropped on my head. I had an epidural hematoma and an emergency surgery and now my legs don’t move.” I told.

“Okay, what happened when you woke up?” 

“I umm… Will did tests and everything else was fine but the legs.”

“Okay and then.”

“Then I’ve tried many times to move them but nothing. I can feel when I hit them hard, but gentle touch doesn’t feel like anything.”

“How does that make you feel?”

“Umm… Like I said, angry as hell.” I laughed sarcastically. Why is he asking these kind of questions. 

“So Severide, Kidd and Brett came by but you didn’t want to see them? Why is that?”

“Yeah, I’ve been tired.”

“You were tired before and Brett was still here.”

“Why did you ask what happened if you know the answers?” I came all of a sudden pretty defensive. 

“Okay, the thing is that I can see that there is something else behind all of that that bothers you and I ask because I want you to think about these things.” 

“What do you mean?” I asked

“I mean that you’ve tried to dodge my questions about why you aren’t letting your friends come by.” He looked at me, a bit too intensely, may I add. 

“I’m the captain. I don’t want them to worry.”

“Okay. That might be a partial reason, I give you that, but they aren’t just your subordinates. They love you and they’d want to know how you’re doing.”

“I know that.”

“So again, why don’t you want to see them if they care about you?”

“Okay fine! I don’t want to admit that my career as a firefighter is over for good! And if I don’t have that, who am I? It is all that I have, my whole life turns around that. Every single person is part of that and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with myself if I lose everything. And how CAN you love or even care about that person?!” Okay, I was now full on yelling. At someone I didn’t even know. And so I added a quiet “Sorry…”

“No, don’t apologise. This is what I was aiming for. I know that it’s an important part of who you are, but you are so much more than just that.” Charles tried to assure me. 

“Yeah. Look, I just need time before telling them. And If I have to stop working, that also means that I have to find another place to live and… It’s just a lot. I’ve been friends with Kelly since academy. Not seeing him every day is going to be hard.” I sighed. “And everybody else…” 

“Everybody like?”

“Well the whole house. Boden counts on me. I’m the one who’s supposed to train Gallo to be the best firefighter possible. And Kidd has her exam next week…”

“What about Sylvie?” He asked me and I froze. 

“What about her?” I asked grinding my teeth.

“Well, it’s clear that you have something special. Are you going to let her see you?” 

“No, I don’t think so. We are friends and that’s it. And that’s how it’s supposed to be.” I sighed. 

“And are you good with you being just friends?” 

“She needs someone special, she is the most amazing person I’ve ever met and to be honest, I can’t be enough for her, not now especially.”

“You didn’t answer my question…”

“No, I’m not okay with that, but I don’t have a choice in the matter.”

“You talk like this accident has made you somehow less worthy of love Matt.” He observed. What do I say to that? I just nodded and at the same time my phone started to vibrate on the desk next to my bed. I glanced at it quickly 

\- Hey, we came by, but didn’t see you. Hopefully everything is okay. Call me. - Sylvie

I sighed and threw my phone in the corner-chair. Of course she’d message me since I didn’t update her. How the hell am I supposed to break the news.

“You want to talk about that text?” Of course he asked that… He’s a psychologist or psychiatrist - I don’t even know. All of a sudden, this all felt somehow intrusive. Why am I talking about Sylvie to anyone else than Kelly. And to Kelly I talked just because he had been just as big of an idiot many times. He could relate…

“No thank you.” I mumbled my response.

“Okay. Then I’ll repeat my last question; Do you think that this accident makes you less deserving of love?”

“No. No I don’t. I just think that as long as I can remember I’ve managed to somehow mess up every relationship that I’ve had and these people are too good to suffer because I can’t keep my head straight right now.” I opened up not even noticing I had done it. 

“Why do you think that?”

“You don’t know my history…”

“Enlighten me” He challenged.

“Okay. Fine. My mom killed my dad when I was young because he was abusive. Not only towards her but me too, so she tried to save me. So I promised that I wouldn’t become my dad. I wouldn’t  
hurt the people around me.”

“And have you?”

“My fiancé died in a fire about eight years ago and I guess I still feel a bit guilty because I wasn’t able to save her.” I sighed. “Then my marriage with Gabby was a mess. We fought, she had a miscarriage, we tried to adopt a son, we lost him, we broke up many times and I don’t even quite know why. I have always been like this. It’s hard to love me I guess.” Wow… I hadn’t thought about this stuff for a while.

“It sounds to me that you have a serious case of ‘I blame myself for everything bad that happens’.” Dr. Charles looked at me. “You have had a tough life and I think we have a lot to talk about in the next days. Still. These are insecurities that are okay to have, but unnecessary.”

Unnecessary my ass… What does he know about my love life?!

“What I want to do now is for you to think about this. You should reach out to someone, if you can. I’ll let you rest now and Jesse Walker should come by soon. We’ll talk in the evening again. Hopefully by then you can move to my office in a wheelchair so you don’t have to sit in that uncomfortable bed.” I tried to show a tiny smile, but to be honest, it was hard. “We’ll see at seven o’clock in my office, but if you have anything, and I do mean anything, just tell Maggie and I’ll come running.” He said and handed me my phone before turning to walk away. 

“Hey!” I said. “Thank you doc.” And he just nodded and smiled before turning away.

And so I took a deep breath, opened Sylvie text and wrote quickly 

\- Yeah, everything is fine. I’ll update you later. Thanks for checking in. -Matt

That’ll have to do for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this came out to be a bit Casey-heavy, but I feel like therapy is what he desperately needs in his life. Accident or no accident.  
> I'll try to sprinkle some Brettsey in the next chapter!


	6. Wine and Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The accident leads to Matt talking about his past while at the same time on the other side of the town Brett is winding down with a glass of rosé.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I may have used this chapter to unload part of what I think is going in Matt's mind. Or in the background in his mind at least!

SYLVIE’S POV

Surprisingly I got some sleep when I got home and woke up only because my phone lit up and buzzed on my nightstand. ‘Everything is fine’ was his text. Sure, everything is fine he says. He’s just dealing with this the way he deals with everything and by that I mean - not dealing with it. And when he can’t go home or to work nobody can see him or talk to him. Hopefully Kelly has more luck than myself. And so typed quickly:

\- Okay, remember that we’re here for you. - Sylvie

I groaned and pressed my head against the pillow setting an alarm to four so I’d have time to eat dinner before heading to Molly’s. Like I said, I needed sleep and wine, latter preferably with company. It took me a good hour or so of turning in my bed and switching the side of my pillow until I finally fell asleep.

When my alarm clock woke me up at four I woke up easily, being hungry as hell and so I started to fry up some chicken and cook some pasta with it - comfort-food. I tried to call Matt couple times, but no luck. At five I was changing my clothes before ordering a uber to Molly’s. 

And so there I was. Standing on Molly’s doorstep ready to go in. But for some reason opening the door felt impossible. The last two days had been stressful to say the least and hanging out at Molly’s was yet another reminder that Matt wasn’t there with us. Still, I needed company so I took a breath and stepped inside. 

“Brett! What can I get you?” Herrmann asked from behind the bar.

“Umm, I’ll take rose thanks!” I answered before making my way to Stella and Kelly passing Capp and Tony on my way. 

“Hey, Brett!” I could hear my name from another table which was filled with intelligence-officers from 21st. And so I took a turn and headed their way.

“I heard what happened yesterday, is Casey okay?” Burgess asked me.

“Umm… Yeah so he says.” I tried to fake a smile. “They had to do an emergency surgery and that effected his legs somehow, I’m really not sure.”

“Damn… That sucks. Tell him speedy recovery from us.” Halstead joined our conversation.

“Yeah, I will once we get to see him” I said before turning back to Stella

“So I take it he hasn’t called?” Stella asked me

“No… Well he answered one of my texts, but hasn’t taken my calls.” I answered. “Did you get ahold of him?” I asked Kelly who was just about to go talk to Boden who surprised us with his presence.

“No, hasn’t responded to me neither” he said with clear annoyance in his voice before walking away.

“He’s taking this hard…” Stella commented. “Hasn’t talked to me since we visited the hospital.”

“Yeah, I don’t blame him. It’s difficult.” I sighed.

“What about you? How are you doing?” She asked me.

“Well, me and Matt have come from not talking to me sleeping with him at the hospital to him not answering my calls in couple of days, so it is just peachy.” I sighed taking a big gulp of rose from my glass. 

“Wait what? You slept with him?!” Stella yelled and half of the bar turned to watch us.

“No, not like that!” I said back trying to turn peoples focus away from us before lowering my voice. Thankfully most of our friends thought that I was still with Greg so hopefully they didn’t connect that burst to Matt… 

“Sorry everyone!” Stella laughed and apologised to people around us.

“It was totally innocent. It was a hard day so I climbed next to him on his bed.”

“Yeah hun, it’s never innocent with two people that have kissed.” She answered taking a sip of her white wine.

“Yeah I know…” I sighed covering my head with my hands before turning back at her “I just want to talk to him about all of this but I can’t seem to get a hold of him anymore. I don’t know if he is regretting that or…”

“Yeah no. I’m sure he isn’t. It’s just Casey who doesn’t want to talk about his feelings.” She hesitates a bit before continuing her sentence. “But what are you thinking? Are you over your conversation about Gabby? Is she no longer an obstacle?

“That’s a good question. She was, I mean she is, but I’m no longer sure if he is in love with her and not me or is it just about his communication which has always been our strong suit… We have always been able to talk about everything but then the kiss happened…” I whispered the part about the kiss. “Its confusing as hell.”

“I can only imagine…”

“I think we just need to talk so I can find out what is this about…”

“Yeah, give him time and when he’s ready you can talk. It’ll all be okay, I can sense it.” She tried to assure me.

And so our conversation turned to Stella’s lieutenants exam and her and Kelly’s relationship. It was healthy change after almost two days of worrying about Matt. 

MATT’S POV

Physical therapy was almost as painfully annoying as talking to dr. Charles. I mean he’s a nice guy, but opening about my feelings is my version of hell. We went over the plan. It was over a day since my surgery and apparently they were talking about taking some of the tubes and machines away this afternoon so I’d have some freedom. Even though just the bed felt like a jail. Trying to be less dramatic was hard since this whole ordeal was harder than I thought. I’ve almost fell to my death multiple times, once from the areal and now I struggled to move without my legs. It was frustrating. And on top of it all I couldn’t concentrate because dr. Charles’s words circled in my mind. And to be honest, I couldn’t stop thinking about Sylvie. And so I shook my head trying to focus on the task at hand. 

And so it was about four in the afternoon and I was trying to eat hospital food. I’d kill to have a burger right now. After the nurse, Wendy was her name if I remember correctly, took my vitals and put some medications in, which I apparently needed after the surgery, Will came by to help me into my wheelchair. Needing help to sit made me feel useless and it took every ounce of self-control I had not to explode at that point. I knew they all were just doing their job, but still… Like I said, annoying as hell…

At five I was sitting in doctor Charles’s chair ready talk about my feelings. Hoping that this time we could leave Sylvie out of this, but no luck, since the second sentence after “How are you?” Was  
“Did you respond to her text?”… Did I even tell him who texted me..?

“Umm, yeah, I answered her.” I answered truthfully.

“Okay, that’s good to hear.”

“So, I think we should start by talking about your childhood a bit.” He said and I froze on my place.

“That isn’t really my favourite subject. And I did go to mandatory therapy as a child.” I answered.

“I know. But from what I gathered previously, this still affects you so we should talk about it.” He looked at me. “So I know what happened, but what do you think was your role in that?”

“Well, I left my key on show at my mom’s place. This was after they had divorced. And she took it and went there and shot him. That’s my role in that. That’s what judges said at least.”

“I see, but do you see it that way?”

“What do you mean?”

“You said that the judges said, but you don’t seem to think that that’s you role actually. It seems like the outcome wasn’t your fault after all” 

“Well yes and no. I mean my mom wasn’t even married to him when this happened, but I saw him from time to time so when I came home with bruised wrists or ribs, she got mad at him. It did feel like it was my fault. Especially since he didn’t do anything like that to my sister.” I explained to him.

“I see. But Matt, did you give the gun to your mom and tell her to shoot him?”

“Of course not!!”

“So you could say that it isn’t your fault?”

“I know…”

“You do? That’s good to hear.” He looked at me and scribbled something on is notepad “So then you put everything you had into becoming a firefighter?”

“Well yes, it was a life long dream of mine.”

“And you are good at that. Making lieutenant at very young age and now a captain.” He listed. “What about your personal life? You said that you had a fiancé?”

“Um, yes. Hallie. We were together for a while. Basically the main problem was that I wanted children and she didn’t - not then at least. And then she was killed in a fire. And I couldn’t save her. It  
took me a while to get over that. I still visit her grave at least three times a year. On her birthday, the day of her death and on our anniversary.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that.” Charles said. “Do you take anyone with you?”

“No, I like to go by myself. I don’t actually know if anyone knows that I go there. My ex-wife wasn’t a fan of that so I didn’t mention those visits to her. My relationship to Hallie became kind of a taboo with Gabby to be honest.”

“That kind of loss affects you a lot, how did you get over it?” Dr. Charles asked.

“Well I had my friends at 51. And I had something to do when I helped the police catch the guy who killed her… And then I got together with Gabby and she helped a lot. I don’t know if moving on without thinking about the loss too much was too healthy but if felt good to be loved again.” It was painful to talk about that point in my life.

“You could argue that those suppressed feelings might be coming to surface now with your relationship with Sylvie?” He asked and earned an eye-roll from me. Not Sylvie again…

“I don’t know about that…” 

“If Gabby was the one that helped to put you back together after Hallie, maybe you feel like you owe her something?”

“Well I guess so. Could we move on?”

“Okay, we’ll talk about this later, and move on to your relationship with Gabby” he said. “You must’ve felt a lot of pressure to make it work since you worked in the same place and the circles in this town are surprisingly small.”

“Yeah, it was difficult at times.” I muttered. 

“What do you think was the problem with you two?”

“I’m sorry, why are we talking about this? Shouldn’t we discuss my paralysis? What does my ex have to do with anything?”

“Well. You can’t get better without a strong network on people and at the moment you are trying to drive all of them away. And based on the conversation we had earlier I think your past relationships contribute to that very strongly. Especially when it comes to Sylvie.” He explained. “So, I ask again; What happened with Gabby that made you believe that it would be hard to love you?”

I sighed, but came to the conclusion that it would be harder to not talk than to talk. So I answered.

“Well it usually came to that we weren’t on the same page when it came to pretty important things.”

“Like what?”

“Well she became my candidate so we had to break up since as her superior I couldn’t date her.”

“So you made the sacrifice?”

“Well yeah, it was her career”

“And then?”

“Well we were together but it busted pretty quickly since at work it was hard for her to think of me as her boss and at home she couldn’t complain about what her boss did since it was me…”

“So you broke up?”

“Yeah we did. And then she decided to adopt a boy, Louie, without me. That was hard. We didn’t break up, but it hurt. And letting go off him hurt even more.” 

“I can only imagine. So, you had many challenges thrown on your way. Relationships should be based on good communication and friendship. It sounds like the communication was lacking with you?”

“You could say that..”

“What do you say?”

“What do you mean?”

“I want to know what annoyed you about your relationship. You are trying to sugarcoat it and that isn’t the point of this therapy. I think you’ve never admitted the problems you had out loud to anyone, am I right?” Wow, way to call a man out…

“Well we had the same friends, everybody loved her.”

“So tell me now.”

“Well… It was hard, not feeling like I was enough for her. Making those big decisions without my input made me feel like my opinions didn’t matter and I was just with her for the ride. Like she couldn’t trust me.” I opened up without even noticing it.

“I see. And that makes you think there was something wrong with you?”

“Well…”

“Or maybe you two weren’t just made for each other? From what I gather, you two tried enough times that if it were meant to be, you’d be together. Why did you divorce?”

“She wanted to get pregnant but it was a threat to her health, maybe even fatal because of the miscarriage. And I wasn’t ready to sacrifice her because of a baby. So she moved to Puerto Rico.”

“And so she was the third woman to leave you. First your mother to jail, then Hallie and now Gabby?”

“Yes, I guess so…” wow, I haven’t thought about it that way…

“Maybe that is a contributing factor as to why you don’t want to lose yet another woman?”

“Maybe…”

“I think this is a good point to end our session. You have some things you need to think about and we’ll see each other tomorrow morning at ten o’clock. We’ll talk more about your career then” Dr. Charles said.

“Okay, thanks doc.” I started to roll my way out of the room to not think about anything, but it was harder than I thought it would be. It was hard to shut my brain off. Was he right? Were those the reasons why I didn’t feel like I deserved Sylvie… And how the hell did I end up in therapy because of one rescue gone wrong… Thankfully sleep came easily that night.

* * * 

It was twelve in the morning and I had just rolled my way back to my room from my morning-therapy-session also known as my personal hell, with dr. Charles when I saw April walk behind me.

“Hey, there is someone called Greg Grainger asking if you’d see him.” She asked.

F*CK! Okay, is there any way out of this? The answer is that no there is not. I should talk to him after our accident. It’s the least I can do…

“Umm… Yes sure, sent him in.” I sighed before turning to face the door. 

And so she did and just a minute I saw Grainger on my doorway.

“Hey.” I greeted him. “Take a seat.”

“Hi, I umm…” he began looking a bit lost.

“Thank you.” I interrupted. 

“What?”

“Thank you for coming with me to get the last victim and thank you for getting me out of there. I know me being alive is mainly thanks to you.” I looked at him. 

“Oh… Yes, of course. I didn’t do anything you wouldn’t do for me.” He smiled. “I thought this room would be full of people since they don’t have work today.” He said looking around my room.

“Uh, yeah. I think they have a bit more important things than standing here when the doctors push me from one room to another.” I laughed dryly. “They were here until I woke up and I had to drive them out eventually.”

“Yeah, you guys are tight.” He laughed “So, how are you doing?” 

“Pretty good, considering. They did an emergency surgery yesterday and I unfortunately am paralysed. Still, I’m alive so.” I told him and his smile faded.

“What? Paralysed?” He asked and you could see the shock on his face.

“Yeah, I guess it was just matter of time when something like this would happen.” I tried to smile.

“That’s… hard… What do you think? Have you talked to Boden?”

“No… I should some day, but not right now…” I sighed.

“I can only imagine. How’s Sylvie doing?” He asked and I could feel my face turning fifty shades of red.

“I umm… Pretty good I guess. Haven’t talked to her in a while, but you might catch her at Molly’s if you want to talk to her” I explained

“Oh… You aren’t together?”

“What? No, we are not. Just friends, that’s it” I tried to assure him and partly myself. 

“Okay. My bad.” He said looking suspicious. “Well, I should probably let you rest now, but we’ll talk again when you can get to Molly’s right?” 

“Yes, sure.” I answered not wanting to admit that I wasn’t sure if that day would come. 

“Okay, bye. And talk to her.” He stood up before shaking my hand.

“Bye, thanks for stopping by.” I smiled. I had spent the last few months pretty much hating him quietly… But even then I knew that he was nice and good for Sylvie, I was just so angry at myself for letting go of her that he was a good person to hate. Wrong place at the wrong time I guess. But ‘talk to her’?? He knew? That’s what he meant right? Why was this more straining mentally than physically?

It was nearing lunch-time so I positioned myself back to the bed and sighed. Hospital food was almost as bad as Cruz’s cooking, but all this talking and thinking and moving actually made me hungry. At least I’d have an hour or so of alone time with no therapy, physical or mental. As usual Wendy was bringing me my medicine and food when all of a sudden she exclaimed “Casey!”. I almost dropped the glass I was holding.

“What??” I asked

“You didn’t notice that?”

“Notice what?” I was getting worried…

“I umm, just a second.” She said cryptically and disappeared out of my room just to come back in couple of minutes with dr. Halstead and my physical therapist Walker.

“What’s going on?” I was full on panicking now. It must be really bad if I need the both of them. Bad memories from couple of days ago flooded my mind. I can’t handle this right now.

“Hey Matt, how are you feeling?” Jesse asked me.

“I was doing good before two doctors rushed in…” I answered trying to joke.

“You see, Wendy mentioned that I should take some tests for you.” Will said and continued with instructions “So sit up for me, let your legs hang off the bed.”

And so I flung my feet off the bed still wondering what the hell was going on. 

He then knocked my knees few times and to all of our surprise those knocks resulted in my feet jumping. The whole room went quiet and my eyes darted between Will, Wendy and Jesse, who looked just as dumbfounded. 

“Umm… What does that mean?” I asked carefully.

“That means that we might have a march-miracle.” Will chuckled and pat my shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I know, I know... It's a whole lot of Casey trying to open up, but we'll see what I can come up with for the next one.


	7. March-Miracle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> March-miracle of one time thing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your lovely feedback on Casey starting therapy, it is appreciated!

MATT’S POV

A march-miracle? Really?

“So, it is too soon to say anything, but some patients are known to overcome paralysis.” Jesse started. “It is possible that defying the odds didn’t end in ‘not dying under a huge beam in the fire’” 

“Okay umm… So what does this mean? Will I someday be able to walk?” I asked carefully. I still didn’t think this would be true. Or actually I still refused to hope for anything more than a comfortable wheelchair for the rest of my life.

“It is possible, we just don’t know yet. It is possible that this is just a one time thing, it is also possible that you’ll be good as new with physical therapy. I know that we’ve said this a hundred times but this really does take patience. Even if you could some day walk again, you need to prepare yourself, it’s going to take time. And a lot of it.” Will answered. “I’ll leave you guys to talk about how this will affect your physio. This is good Matt, really good.” He smiled before leaving me with Jesse.

“Okay. So. We will continue with the exercises we talked about previously, but now I think we should add some for your legs also. They’ll be easy and we don’t push our luck. We scheduled you an appointment at three o’clock so we’ll see each other then and we’ll see what exercises would be good for you. Sound good?”

“Yeah, sounds good.” My head was spinning. Is this really happening?

“Okay, we’ll see in couple of hours!” He said before exiting my room.

What the f*ck? 

I had prepared myself that I wouldn’t ever be able to walk and now it might be possible after all. Still… Even then… My life as a firefighter, as a captain would be over. I had always envisioned myself as an old family-man maybe a chief when I’d retire. Over time that wish started to feel more and more like a dream, a fantasy that I would never be able to achieve. When I lost Gabby I also lost all my hope and well.… threw myself under an elevator. The only glimmer of hope was that one night with Sylvie at her place. And that dream was crushed just as quickly as it happened. Now I don’t know what do with myself. I’m a Chicago-guy, but what do I have here if not my jobs or the woman I love by my side. 

Usually when I had troubles I would throw myself to work, but I couldn’t do that now. What should I do? And right on cue I heard my door open and saw the person behind my personal hell aka dr. Charles. And to be clear, he was nice…he just made me think…and that was hell.

“How are you doing Matt?” He asked. “Will told me you heard some news.”

“Yeah… I haven’t really been able to process that yet…” I sighed.

“I understand. It must be hard having to first come to terms with not being able to walk and now that you might be…”

“Very…”

“Okay, we agreed that we’d see tomorrow at ten o’clock again at my office but if it would be okay with you I think we could take a trip to your place and talk there?” Dr. Charles asked. 

“I umm…” I really didn’t feel like facing anyone yet and apparently he can read me since he continued with “51 has a shift then. We’d be alone if you feel uncomfortable seeing them.” 

“Do you think that it’d help somehow?”

“Yes I do. You are very active guy Matt and now you have gotten life altering news and you can’t even return to your “safe place” and you don’t even want to talk to your friends. So, maybe a look into your everyday life would do you good.”

“Okay, let’s do it.” 

“Great! I’ll come get you at ten.”

“Okay, thanks doc.” I answered. Damn I have seen that dude too much since these few therapy sessions are starting to feel okay. Okay, that might be overselling it, they are starting to feel bearable. Maybe. I don’t want to hit anyone after. I still don’t feel like talking to Sev or Sylvie would be helpful. Or maybe it would. I just don’t think I can. Not when I’m feeling like this. This powerless. So I keep on dodging their and everyone else’s calls and texts. 

That evening went in a blur. This mornings what-does-death-mean-to-you-since-your-dad-and-fiancee-and-three-friends-fave-died-therapy-session, Greg’s visit, the march-miracle and tomorrows agenda were enough to set my head spinning so I was a mess in physio. I mean, I like it since I can for once do something with myself, but learning how to move to a seat or to a car with numb legs is draining. And so when I got to my bed in the evening I put on House Hunters. And if anyone asks it was totally because the show is a television masterpiece and not because it’s Sylvie’s favourite show. Not at all. It felt peaceful. For the first time since we slept together at this bed I felt at peace. And so I fell asleep before eight and slept like a log… 

SYLVIE’S POV

And so there I was again. Standing in front of my locker at 51. This was going to be a hellish day, sometimes you just know it and so as I was heading to morning briefing the bells started to play my song. Like I said, a hellish day…

“Ambulance 61. Man down from unknown causes, 1005 North Elston Avenue”

As I ran towards the ambo I nearly knocked over an extremely tired looking lieutenant, who looked like he was one missed sleep away from having to go to the hospital himself. “We’ll talk later Kelly!” I yelled before jumping on the drivers side ready to save few more lives before breakfast. 

North Elston was a quick case. An elderly woman had fainted on her walk. As we were dropping her of at Lakeshore we got another call to 703 Throop Street, we met the squad there. A young woman was riding her bike and hit a pothole that send her flying through a parked car’s window. It was a miracle that with squads help she got to med in no time and in one piece.

At med I stopped at the from desk and ran to see if Casey would see us now but all I got in response from Maggie was “He’s not in right now, but I’ll tell him that you came by!” Then she disappeared to help a family and I was left standing with my mouth open. 

“You okay?” Mackey asked from behind.

“Uhh, yeah. Yeah I am. Just… Casey isn’t here…” I mumbled

“What do you mean he’s not here??” She seemed just as shocked as I was.

“I mean he’s either at home or another hospital or I don’t even want to know where else… They wouldn’t let him go so soon right?? I know the surgery went well but still… Even if his legs work again they can’t let him go home alone!” My voice rose at every sentence.

“Yeah, I don’t think so. He hasn’t told you anything?”

“No, nothing… No response what so ever. I’ll grill Boden when we get to 51. I mean he must know what’s going on right??”

“Right!” Mackey responded.

“Good, okay. Let’s get going!” I shook my head, I have to know what the hell is going on in here!!”

The drive to 51 went quickly, probably because my anger got the best of me and I think I broke some speed limits. Thankfully Mackey didn’t say anything. So when I shut my door I added a little bit more power to it than I originally intended before storming to the common room where everyone was eating. All eyes turned on me. For the first time I didn’t care what they thought and asked, or more like yelled

“Why the HELL isn’t Casey at the hospital?” Now everyone looked shocked… Apparently I wasn’t the only one out of the loop. So probably it wasn’t about him avoiding me but more like him avoiding everyone.

“What are you talking about?” Severide stood up

“I asked Maggie if I - if we could see him and she said that he wasn’t there!! Not that he wouldn’t see us like before, but he wasn’t there!!” Okay Sylvie, take it down a notch… Didn’t know I could be this dramatic…

“What the hell!? He hasn’t talked to you either? He won’t answer me and I just thought that it was about me…” Kelly sighed

“No, I thought the same thing… I… BODEN!” I spotted our chief trying to walk away from the situation. I could see him sigh and turn around. 

“What?”

“Uh, Chief, we were just wondering if you knew what’s going on with Casey?” Herrmann asked.

“No.” Boden answered and my eyes darted between him and Kelly. What the hell? Casey is one of the most loyal and hardworking man I know and if he doesn’t tell his boss how he’s doing… We have a right to be confused and to be honest a little bit hurt now.

“What?” I could hear Gallo ask from behind the stove. Casey was his mentor and he respected him more than anyone in the whole world. I could see him baffled.

“I haven’t heard anything. And knowing Casey, I think he has a good reason for not contacting us.” Boden said before turning back to me “Brett, Severide, my office. Now.”

You can’t argue with that voice. Actually, can you argue with Boden ever?

“Shut the door please.” He said and me and Kelly sat in front of his desk.

“What’s this about chief?”

“What do you think this is about? Your friend is shutting the whole goddamn house of and I don’t know when or if my captain is coming back to work! So… what the hell are you two doing about it?”

Wow… I was speechless. And Kelly too…

“Umm… I have texted him like dozen times a day, what do you want us to do when he doesn’t want to see us. We can’t exactly break in to his room…” Kelly sighed.

“Me too, I’ve called him every hour but I think he turned his phone of. Chief, I don’t know what to do…” I explained as calmly as I could but felt tears fill my eyes. Slowly Boden’s demeanour changed and he looked a bit more calmly. 

“I know Casey. He is like you Kelly, you guys shut everybody off when you are hurt, but we need a way to get to him. Have you even seen him after he woke up?” Boden’s question made my face turn red… How do I say that I slept next to him without saying I slept next to him…

“No, I haven’t seen him since he woke up and Will sent us away.” Kelly answered and the both of them looked at me. “He didn’t let us see him the next morning…”

“Umm… Yeah… Well I hung out there until I came back that evening.” I answered. Please no further questions, I begged… but when has my luck been on my side? Like I said, a hellish day…

“You hung out?” Boden asked

“When have you wanted to hear any gossip chief?” I tried to defend myself. 

“Since it affects my firehouse. Look… I don’t like gossip and I don’t need to know why two of my officers slept in the same bed in the hospital I just need to know does this affect why we haven’t heard from my best officer?”

“HEY!” Severide exclaimed with a smirk  
“-one of my best officers.” Boden corrected himself. “So… tell me Brett…”

“I umm… Didn’t know that you knew that. BUT we are not together. Not now, probably ever…” I started to mutter before Severide cut me off

“Look chief. You know they both love each other” I interrupted him with a “HEY” that went to deaf ears and Kelly continued “…but you know how Casey is. He somehow blames this on himself and tries to get through it alone.”

“Normally…” Boden said.

“Normally he has to come to work. Then he snaps at everyone for couple of days. Just like he did when Brett dumbed him…” Kelly continued

“I didn’t…” I tried to intervene. We haven’t been together so I didn’t dumb him… If anything he’s the one who did the dumbing.

“I know you didn’t…”

“So why would you say…” What the hell Kelly was the end of that sentence before he cut me of again.

“Because that was and is his mindset…” Kelly explained “I know it’s not your fault. You have the best chance of getting him to open up and you should continue trying, but you guys know it won’t be easy… You might have a better chance of him growing new legs than him starting therapy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was hard to write since I wasn't sure where I was going with it but here it is!  
> I'll give myself more time with the next one!


	8. As Easy as Breathing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey talks about Kelly and Sylvie and rips off one band-aid.

MATT’S POV

There we were, dr. Charles opening the door to our loft with me rolling not far behind. I took a deep breath. When I left for work on Tuesday I didn’t think the next time I’d have to have help getting over the step. It was weird. I had been living it the loft for couple of years now and even with Kelly it didn’t quite feel like home. Also I felt like I was getting in the way of his and Stella’s relationship. The moment he asked me to go shopping and drove us to a jewellery store I knew that I had to move out. Preferably before the honeymoon-stage. Now I don’t know… I have to learn to live without anyone in a wheelchair. I’m still not getting my hopes up when it comes to the so called march-miracle. 

Finally dr. Charles was sitting on our couch and I was facing him. I knew that look by now… It was the “are you ready to tell me your deepest and darkest secrets”-look. 

“So, how does it feel like being here?”

“It feels… Different… but also same. I don’t know how to explain it… “

“I don’t blame you. Usually when you get to go home from the hospital you can go and lie on your bed and start the everyday life. And this time you’re just visiting.”

“Yeah, feels weird.” 

“So let’s get straight to the task at hand.… Have you talked to Kelly or Sylvie?” Dr. Charles asked.

“No I have not…” I admitted.

“But they have called?”

“Yes…”

“Why don’t you feel like answering?” 

“I don’t want them to know how I’m doing…” I answered truthfully

“Why is that? Don’t you think they’d be worried about you?”

“Because it would make this whole thing feel way too real… And I’m worried how they’ll take this. I know that if I’ll tell them they will try to help but at the moment I don’t want it.”

“You’ve been friends with Kelly since academy?” dr. Charles recalled.

“Yes, we’ve been through this all together. Starting at 51, our rise to officers, our fights after Andy died… all of it.”

“So he has been by your side through the last few accidents and deaths like we talked about few days back. Why is this any different?”

“Usually I come back.”

“And this time you won’t.”

“Yes. This time I won’t and that’ll mess up our whole lives. I have royally screwed things up for the last few years. Still it was okay because I had him as a friend, even through our romantic relationships our friendship hasn’t changed, he lived with me after Shay died, I have lived at his since my condo burned. He has been the one constant through my life but if I can’t see him at work every day I don’t know how will our friendship get through that…”

“You think that your brotherhood is just because you are firefighters at the same house?”

“Well no… But I don’t want him to have to watch out what he can say in front of me since I’m well… hurt” I sighed. “…and I know he would.”

“I know it’ll be hard, but let’s look at it this way; now that you are dodging his calls and texts how are you helping him?”

“Well…”

“Because now he lives in uncertainty. He doesn’t know how you are and he’s probably blaming that on himself…”

“Yeah… I know…”

“So maybe you should reach out. It’s not just because you need your best friend if you want to get through this, it’s also because he needs you Matt.” 

“Okay… I’ll call him soon.” After his pointed look I added. “I promise.”

I really should contact him. I know he is taking this hard, it’s always hard when someone is hurt in our family, but this is different. Admitting how weak I’m feeling is going to be difficult.

“Okay.” Dr. Charles said. “To be honest, we are probably going to keep on talking about Kelly for a long time even when you contact him… But let’s change the subject - what happened between you and Sylvie?” 

I sighed… I had already learned that it would be pointless to avoid this conversation. Better just to get it over with. So I started the story…

“Well… Sylvie was my friend for a long time but when Gabby left us I think it kinda brought us together… I mean Gabby broke off our marriage via mail and didn’t say good bye to her supposed best friend. So we became quickly more like best friends. Then she got engaged and…” I started my story but stopped “…actually are you sure you want to hear the whole thing?”

“I’m sure Matt.” He answered and so I continued. 

“So she got engaged to Kyle and moved away…”

“You had feelings for her back then?” Dr. Charles asked me.

“Yeah I guess so. I actually almost asked her out once, before the engagement…” I sighed.

“So she got engaged, what then?”

“Well she broke it off and came back to Chicago and 51 and then we just got closer somehow, it all happened so naturally and slowly that I didn’t really think much of it except that it was easy to be with her. It just came a habit that before I ran into a burning building I found her eyes. We helped each other through tough calls and We got even closer when she found her birth-mom. I just tried to be there. Especially when she died at childbirth. As her friend, nothing else.” I tried to push through the history.

“And then?”

“Well it was autumn when she was held at gunpoint during a call. After that I slept at hers because she was scared that the guy might come and find her since his brother died. It was a nice night. Innocent, we played heads-up and talked. It felt as easy as breathing, you know?”

“Yes, I know…” 

“And then…” I could feel my cheeks redden when I knew that I’d have to talk about the crash.

“Then?” He asked.

“Then that same guy drove them, her and Mackey, off an overpass. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. I could feel my heart stop when we saw the ambo down in embankment. And we umm… I don’t… Okay. I jumped off…” I tried to get the rest of the sentence out. Not my finest moment.

“Off? Off of the truck?”

“Yeah… I didn’t know if she was alive or what had happened so I just ran.”

“You ran?”

“What is so hard to understand?”

“It just… I have never heard about someone jump out of a moving firetruck for someone they love.”

“Well I ran to her, thankfully she was okay but after the accident she said that ‘it’s always been you’. And I’m still a bit confused about that since we didn’t talk about it more.” I recalled. “In the evening my candidate spilled the beans of me jumping from the truck and the overpass that lead to us having a moment, I’m pretty sure that I realised just how much I actually loved back then. Few days later we kissed at her place.” I cringed at the thought. “Then she asked me if I’d choose Gabby if it was between them two.” 

“And you said?”

“I said that I don’t know…”

“You don’t know who you’d pick?”

“I know that I love Sylvie, but I was so long with Gabby. Don’t I owe her that I’d try again if she came back?”

“You just said that you owe her that you’d try. Who do you owe that?”

“Well her I guess… Us.”

“Were you happy? Was she your great love?”

“I guess…”

“If you guess, she wasn’t.”

“Every couple fights.”

“Yeah they do, and I’m not saying that you didn’t love her, it’s obvious that you did, but sometimes we need to take some distance to see wether the relationship is healthy for us or not.” Charles explained. “Look, you are loyal to a fault. You don’t owe anyone anything. You need to start thinking about what you want and need, not what you think other people need.”

“But I…” I started to stutter but again Charles cut me off… He does that a lot. Should a therapist even do that? 

“You are also not the best at judging people. You thought that you should give Gabby the benefit of the doubt again since you have a long history and that at the same time that history would be too much for Sylvie to handle, but are you sure that se couldn’t?”

“Well no…”

“Think about it Matt. If you’d have the option now, Gabby or Sylvie, no history, nothing, just the two women, who would you want to spend your life with?”

“Sylvie. I mean she is just the most amazing woman, I have never met someone who gets me so well and knows how to make me feel better. ”

“Doesn’t that say it all?”

“But at the same time, she is perfect and I don’t know if I am good enough for her.” I tried to explain myself

“Don’t you think that she should make that decision herself?”

“I guess, but I want her to be happy. Now that I’m in a wheelchair and more miserable than ever I’d be a lousy boyfriend. She deserves more from me or anyone else for that matter…”

“I think your miserable-feeling might actually faint a little if you’d have a woman you love by your side.” dr. Charles pointed out.

“I don’t know.”

“Think about it. I strongly encourage you to call her.” He said. With that we ended our session. Talking to dr. Charles felt both liberating and still a little piece of hell, but I knew it helped me. If only Kelly knew that I was in therapy. He’d probably say something like ‘it would be easier for him to grow extra arms than start therapy’. I chuckled at the thought… I do miss him… Not that I’d admit that… Soon. I’ll call him soon, I promised myself.

* * *

After our field trip to my flat and the hour long therapy session I had my physical therapy that was just as draining as the last time. When I finally got back to my room I took my phone and typed.

\- Hey, do you think you could come by? - Casey

Time to rip off the band-aid.

It took only about 20 minutes until Boden opened the door.

“Captain. It’s good to see that you are alive.” I could hear how hurt he was even when he tried to mask it.

“I’m sorry for not contacting you sooner. We are still unsure what will happen.” I explained.

“It’s okay Matt. You needed time to yourself.” He said. “How are you feeling?”

“Not great. I umm…” just rip the band-aid off…”I’m paralysed. From the waist down. There is a tiny possibility that some day I could be able to walk maybe even just as well as before, but it’s not common with my condition.” I tried to explain without letting the tears I was holding back fall. The worst was over. Admitting this to my boss…

“Matt…” he took a deep breath. I could see how he didn’t know what he should say. 

“It’s okay. I’m okay. I just don’t know if I’ll be seeing you guys much anymore.”

“You do know that we are here for you, and we want to help.” He tried to assure me.

“I know. I’m not sure how I can look at them, my men, now. Feeling this helpless…”

“The house misses you. We don’t care about anything else that you’re alive. Believe me. Brett made quite a scene this morning since you weren’t at the hospital…”

“I umm… I was at the loft with dr. Charles…” what does he mean, make a scene??

“She was worried Matt… You need to talk to her. You also need to talk to Kelly. He’s been walking around like he’s in a fog of some sort. I don’t think he has slept since your accident.” Chief said.

“I know… I’ll call the both of them… soon.” I promised him. “But now, I think you need to get back to work. You can tell them what’s going on. I don’t need more scenes as you put it.” I tried to crack a joke and got some chuckles from him. 

“Okay, I’ll go. Get well. We’ll talk later.” And with that he turned around and walked out of the door. 

SYLVIE’S POV

Boden came to the firehouse after his meeting a bit fumbled, like I’ve never seen before. He wanted to talk to all of us and so we gathered around.

“I just saw Casey…” Boden started the briefing. My heart stopped. Thankfully the others asked enough questions that I could focus on my breathing.

“What do you mean saw?” Stella asked

“Like at the hospital?” Gallo asked

“What did he say?” Mouch joined the two of them whilst the rest of us looked at Boden with wide eyes. It was the first time since someone heard of him.

“He asked me to stop by the hospital. He was in surprisingly good spirits.” Boden explained.

“How about his legs?” Kelly asked carefully and I could feel how we all held our breath. 

“Well… They are not sure, but it looks like a paralysis.” Boden continued. Are you shitting me? He can’t move his legs??

“So he can’t move his legs like ever?” Capp asked the question that everyone was thinking but nobody was brave enough to actually ask. And again a silence fell into the room. I could feel myself hold my breath. I can’t handle this right now. 

“No he can’t. I think it’ll take some time for him to see us again…” Boden sighed. Casey was like a son to him. It was awful to see how hurt he was especially since he was the one that let Matt go inside the hotel. 

“So he won’t be a firefighter anymore?” Ritter asked his eyes wide.

“It’s highly unlikely that he’d be able to walk and live a normal life.” Boden answered. “He asked for me to update you. He’ll contact you guys when he’s ready to.”

With that Kelly who was standing at his usual spot, the spot where he stood next to Matt all these years, stormed out of the room. We could hear him mumble a “bullshit” and “f*ck” from the hallway and then a loud crash that was probably a result from him kicking a bench at the locker room. And so Kidd sighed, stood up and ran behind him. 

I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Time stood still. A sudden wave of emptiness mixed with panic filled me and all I could come up with was running out of the whole firehouse and so I did. I ran all the way to Otis’s memorial and sat next to it. I could feel how my eyes filled with tears. I don’t even know why I was taking this so hard. I mean he’s not dying. He’s going to be fine. Just the fact that if he was going to have to quit being a firefighter would we him ever again. Would it be too painful to even look at me. Suddenly that sadness mixed with a whole lot of anger, mostly towards the universe. Why? What the hell have I done to deserve all this crap? And after that, the anger beat the sadness and I decided that he wouldn’t have a choice. Even if I have to break in through the hospital window, I was going to see him. 

MATT’S POV

Will wasn’t completely wrong about the miracle. I was getting some movement to my feet. I still couldn’t move my legs, but he said that it looked promising. I couldn’t let myself hope for anything… Instead I focused on what I could do, which was learning to use the chair and do everyday things such as moving to a bed without help.

I was getting frustrated… Something was wrong today and I lost my grip a dozen times which resulted in me swearing and falling flat on my ass. Thankfully my trainer was amazing even when I threw some sticks to the wall. He said that “some days it’s hard to focus and do this stuff. It’s okay.” I’m not good with failing. When you are inside a burning building you can’t fail. This was annoying as hell. 

Jesse had left so I was supposed to get on my wheelchair and roll my way out but because I’m stubborn as hell I decided to try one more time. That lead to me falling flat on my ass (again) and it took me good fifteen minutes to get back up. At that point I was so pissed that I took the nearest stick and threw it with all my power at the wall, cracking it and the wall a little bit. 

Then I heard the quiet voice from behind greeting me with a hello.

How did she manage to come here right when I was like this…

“How are you doing?” She continued as I tried to turn around in the wooden chair to see her.

“I’m fine.” I muttered. “What are you doing here?”

“Well… I wanted to see if you were in fact okay… Which you seem not to be…” She said trying to assess me.

“Yeah… Like I said, I’m fine.” 

“Okay…” I could hear her start her sentence but I couldn’t bear hearing anything remotely nice right now.

“I really don’t feel like talking about this right now Sylvie” Maybe the attitude would drive her out. 

“I know it frustrates you, but you know I’m here for you, no matter what.”

I couldn’t look at her. 

“Sooo what have you been up to since not answering my texts?” I could hear that she was trying to smile.

“Why?”

“What why?” She looked confused. 

“Why the hell are you so goddamn nice? I’ve been ignoring your calls and texts and still you try.”

“Are you kidding me right now Matthew Casey?” 

“You should be with someone who actually is good for you!! I’m… I’m not in a good place right now.”

“God you are frustrating Matt! How would you know what’s good for me?”

“I know. I know what’s going on in my head and you don’t deserve that.” I sighed.

“But you are good to me! You have always been good for me! You have been there for me always and now I want to be here for you.” Sylvie explained

“I can’t…”

“You can’t what?” She asked.

“I can’t be with you.” I tried to say. “You need to leave.”

“You really want me to go?” She asked and I swear could see tears form in her eyes. This would be for the best. She doesn’t need this right now. Better that she hates me, then at least she won’t come looking for me.

“Yes.”

And so she turned around took the bag she’d dropped on the floor and turned the door-handle.

I sighed and buried my face in my propped up hands. Everything since Tuesday has been too much to handle but that was probably the worst I’ve felt this whole week. I know what dr. Charles said, but seeing her here. In physio. If we were together that would become her life for I don’t even know how long. I just couldn’t let that happen. 

SYLVIE’S POV

He wants me gone, he doesn’t mean that, right? I mean, his just hurt. It’s like Kelly said… Right? He’s in a wheelchair. So things are not going as smoothly as I hoped. But he still needs me. Even as just friends. Right?

“No.” I said as I turned around.

“What do you mean no?” He asked with a raised voice.

“I mean no, I’m not going.” I put my bag back to the floor.

“Look, I know that you’re trying to help but this is me trying to help you. I mean what I said, I can’t be enough for you right now. I’m sorry that you broke up with Grainger - I don’t even know if it was because of me or not, but there are plenty of men who will also love you with cleaner history.” 

“What did you say?” My heart jumped into my throat. I mean I heard correctly, right? He did say the L-word, right?

“What?” I could see that the word had slipped from him. But did that mean that he didn’t feel that way?

“Did you say that you…” started before he cut me off.

“I love you Sylvie.” Matt looked straight at me. His expression softened and he even smiled. “I have loved you for almost a year but I know that me and my baggage aren’t good for you…”

“I love you too Matt.” I had to interrupt him before he said anything even more idiotic.

“What??” He looked at me with an open mouth. Was he this bad at reading people. Really? Even Kelly knew and he’s at least as emotionally stunted. 

“I love you too. I’ve loved you for a long time!” 

“What??” He repeated his previous question

“What, what??”

“Why didn’t you say anything??” He asked me.

“Oh because you’ve made your intentions sooo clear to me?!” I said back, maybe with a little more spunk than intend. “The last time I asked about this you made it abundantly clear that you were still in love with your ex-wife! My former best friend!”

“Are you kidding me? I’m not in love with her. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about YOU!”

“Me?” I lowered my voice. “But what about…”

“Yes you. I was being an idiot back then. I thought that me stepping back was good for you, even if it hurt like hell. You have no idea how f*cking painful it was to watch you with Grainger.” He took a breath before continuing. “Dr. Charles said that I still feel like I somehow owe Gabby because of how much she helped me after Hallie died, maybe he’s right. When you asked that question the loyalty got the best of me. No I wouldn’t be with Gabby even if she came back to 51. I’m so sorry that my past has come in the way of us.” He explained. Is this really happening? 

“I have tried to come and see you.” I mumbled taking a few steps forward.

“I know. I just couldn’t. You know. Face you or anyone.” He stared at me. Yet again, with that solemn Matt Casey look. 

“I understand. I really do.” I smiled and stepped right in front of him. 

“Thank you.” 

“So… You love me?” I asked and reached out to touch his cheek.

“Of course I love you. You are the most amazing person I’ve ever met Sylvie. Your huge heart, your selflessness, the way you always make everybody feel better… Everything. You are everything to me.” He answered and took my hand. 

“I love you Matt Casey” I whispered before lowering myself to sit on his lap. And just like that it felt like no time had passed since we kissed the first time at my place. It was the same look he had at Molly’s way back then and again in his hospital room, it was the look that was reserved just for us. I couldn’t explain that it way back then, but now I knew what it was. As cheesy as it sounds, it turned out to be love. Back then and right now. It just took us a while to get here. 

And so he placed his hand behind my neck and captured my mouth with his. If the last kiss was the best one of my life, this topped it. My pulse slowed down and I could feel myself relaxing. The last time we kissed it was exciting and tender, this was loving and calming, intimate. It felt like we were the only people in the world. Like he was the air I was supposed to breath. My hands held his hair and his other hand came to rest on the small of my back. I could feel his hands roam my back sending chills all the way to my toes. I grabbed his hair tighter and deepened the kiss. It was everything and more. 

After a while we pulled away and a smile formed on both of our faces. I looked at him and every ounce of uncertainty and doubt washed away. This is it. This is the great love they talk about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... Finally some happy news!


	9. Back for Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey faces Kelly and a good dose of domestic life from the whole gang.

MATT’S POV

Those eyes. After I messed everything that one night at hers I didn’t think I’d see her look at me like she did then ever again. Still, right now, it was even better than back then. Her eyes sparkled. As cheesy and corny that sounds I looked at her and saw everything. My whole future had seemed extremely dim about thirty minutes ago and this, she gave me purpose. She gave me the light. So I brushed her hair back behind her ear and smiled. I don’t think I have smiled like this since our heads up - game et hers. 

“So…” I whispered before sneaking yet another kiss from her. 

“Yeah, so…” she whispered in my ear whilst I kissed her neck.

“We should go to my room and talk some more.” I said gave her one more quick kiss before she stood up from my lap.“Could you roll over my chair?”

“Yes, we definitely have to.” She said whilst holding the chair so that I could position myself on it. Once I was sitting I pulled her so that she lost balance and dropped in my lap. 

“Damn Matt. We’re never getting to your room at this pace…” she said whilst I sneaked yet another kiss from her. 

“Fine, let’s go. My room is down the hall to your left.” I directed. “So, how was shift?”

“It was uneventful.” She answered kinda unsurely.

“Sylvie. You can talk about work you know. I’m not going anywhere.” I took her hand and gave it a small squeeze. 

“Well it really was uneventful. We had only few calls. Although when we rolled at one, there was a woman who had flown straight trough a parked car’s window. She had hit a pothole and tripped. But she was fine. Kelly got her out and we got her at med quickly. She was surprisingly fine.” Sylvie laughed.

“Damn. Must’ve been really something” I laughed 

“And then at med I tried to see you and you weren’t here you buttface!” I could hear that she was joking but I could sense the worry in her voice.

“I was in therapy. At the loft. And a buttface?” I explained and smirked.

“I know. And yes. A person who doesn’t let someone else know that they are alive is a buttface.” She started. “But please don’t ever do that again.”

“Sylvie…”

“I mean it Matt. I said that I can’t lose you and that includes you not answering me for days. You need to promise me.” I could hear that she was choking up, but she was walking behind me, pushing my chair.

“Hey, Sylvie. Look at me.” I took her hand and pulled her in front of me. “Look at me. No more games. I’m all in. Always. I won’t leave you.” I looked at her straight in her eyes and could see her impression start to melt into a light smile. The Sylvie Brett-smile that should be copyrighted just for her.

“Good. I won’t leave you either.” She gave me a small kiss before turning to my room. 

“So, here is my lovely suite with a great view. I get gourmet meals four times a day.”

“Hahah, stop it. It looks very cozy.”

I spun my wheelchair around - I was getting very good at it if I say so myself and I positioned myself to the bed. That too was going well by now, the training I did in academy definitely came handy, although I didn’t guess I’d use it this way. Jesse was probably right, todays physio was just a hiccup. Sylvie sat on the chair next to my bed and as I was starting to explain my situation to her I saw dr. Charles lurking behind my door.

“Come on in doc.” I laughed.

“Well look who’s happy!” The doctor smiled when he entered the room. “It’s so good to see you Sylvie. I take it this one finally answered your call.”

“Well… Almost. I didn’t sneak myself inside his physio, that’s for sure!” Sylvie chuckled as she took my hand in hers.

“Well, I’ll leave you now. I think we can cancel tonights appointment Matt, I’ll see you again tomorrow at 10.” Charles said goodbye and left us together. 

“So…”

“Yeah…”

“Chief told us that it’s paralysis. From the waist down.” Sylvie said quietly.

“Yeah… it is… There is a possibility that it could be temporary. But it’s a very tiny possibility so don’t get your hopes up. Actually I could really use a distraction from all of this. I’ve been thinking about this for the last week or so…”

“I think I can manage a some kind of distraction captain.” She said in that sultry voice of hers and popped the p at captain. Damn I was in over my head with this one. And so she stood up and laid down next to me crossing one leg over my legs and pressing a gentle kiss on my lips. I lifted my right arm to cradle her neck and kept a tight hold on her back. Slowly the kissing intensified and she turned herself on top of me laying with on leg between mine and my hands started to wonder on their own. She let out a small moan when I squeezed her bum and held her back strongly against me.

The kissing came into a sudden stop when we heard a loud knock on the door and Sylvie rolled down and sat on the chair. 

“Come in.” I coughed and straightened my posture. 

“Hi, Casey!” Will said from the door before spotting Sylvie on the chair next to me. I think both of our cheeks were bright read and her lips were just the tiniest bit puffy. “Oh, Brett! Didn’t think you’d bee here!” I could see his lips turn in to a light smirk. 

“Hi, Will!” Sylvie smiled at him.

“So, Casey would you be ready to head home? I think you have gotten the hang of things by now?” He said so nonchalantly you’d think he was talking about the weather. Thank god I was laying down so I couldn’t faint. 

“Umm… What?” I was able to mutter.

“Your physio has been going well according to Jesse and there is no reason for you to hang here if you have someone who could help you at home if need be” Will explained glancing at Sylvie. “

“Yes he has for sure!” She answered on my behalf.

“Jesse will see you daily at physio and dr. Charles will probably keep your daily sessions as well, but other than that I think I’ll see you on Tuesday when I’ll run some tests since it’ll be one week from your accident. I’ll get the paperwork ready and then you can get going. You of course get disabled taxi and this wheelchair.” Will said before walking out of the room. 

“Umm… What just happened?” I asked Sylvie with wide eyes. 

“You’re coming home. That’s what happened!” She squealed, jumped from her chair and kissed me. “Ahh, I’m so happy for you!”

“It’ll be nice getting home but…” I started and like always Sylvie knew what I was talking about.

“…but you’ll see Kelly and need to figure out what to say to him?”

“Yeah… He must be pissed…” I sighed and ran my hand over my face.

“He’s worried, not pissed.” 

“I really hope you’re right. It’s been long time since we fought - seriously fought.” I mumbled as Sylvie started to gather the few things I had brought to the hospital.

“You’ll figure it out. Besides brothers fight.” She smiled at me.

“You know just what to say. How do you do it?” 

“I guess I’m just that good. Or I know you too well.” Sylvie smirked at kissed me whilst I sat on the bed.

“So. Here are the papers. Call me if you need anything. Here are the medications. Take these only if you need to but if you get a headache come here of call 911. Pain in your legs is a good thing, remember that.” Will smiled. “So… are you ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be! Thank you Will. For real. Come to Molly’s some day, I’ll buy you beers.” I offered and shook his hand.

“Oh, I’ll remember that, but seriously, anything for you. Now get out of here!”  
And so Sylvie pushed my chair out of the hospital. First day of the rest of my life, huh? 

* * *

I rolled into our loft. Getting over the step was a bit easier this time. “So… Is it nice to bee home?” Sylvie asked and placed my bag on the floor. 

“It is. Nice to know that this time I can sleep in my own bed.” I laughed and turned to face Sylvie. “Come here.” I straightened my hand towards her.

“What?” She stepped closer and took my hand.

“Thank you. For finding me and bringing me home.” 

“Of course. Anything for you, Matt.” Sylvie got down and hugged my closely. As she was pulling away I placed my hand on her back and the other on her neck and pulled her closer.

“Still.” I gave her a small kiss. “Thank you.” And so I captured her mouth with mine with that kind of passion I don't think I have ever felt. I deepened our kiss and she sat on my lap. I pulled her closer from her back and moved my lips down her neck, which made her leave a quiet moan. She pulled my hair lightly finding my lips again. I moved my hand under her light yellow sweater when we heard keys turn in the lock. Sylvie stood up from my lap just in time before Kelly and Stella walked in. Damn people have good timing around here…

“What are you doing here?” Kidd exclaimed pointing at me and then shifting her finger to Sylvie “And you! I should’ve known you wouldn’t skip our wine-night if something wasn't up, just didn’t think it was that!” Kidd winked at us as Sylvie gasped by my side and a laughter escaped me. 

“Stella shush!!” Sylvie walked over to her and swatted her shoulder. Kelly had been quiet the whole time. Like he was assessing the situation. Slowly he turned his head and looked at me.

“Cigars?” I asked waving two of them in front of me.

“Let’s do it.” Kelly answered and slipped his coat back on.

“Good to see you captain.” Kidd hugged me before taking a wine bottle from our fridge. Some girl talk apparently needed the liquid encouragement.

“You too Kidd, but it’s Matt now.” I laughed and rolled my way towards the elevator. 

* * *

“So…” Kelly started once we had lit our cigars. 

“So…”

“You’re out of the hospital?”

“Yeah. I mean I have to go there every day for physio and therapy, but other than that. I know I said that I’d move out soon, but it’ll take me a while longer since I can’t exactly do any remodelling myself.” I said.

“Yeah, no problem.”

“You okay Sev?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He answered in our true fashion, always fine.

“Sorry man.” I sighed. “For not calling back. I… I was in a bad place.”

“I know. I would’ve helped.”

“I know you would’ve, but I think only therapists could help me with this one.” I smiled and took a deep breath.

“Therapy huh?” Kelly smirked. “Didn’t think I’d see the day…”

“I know… They wouldn’t let me go if I didn’t speak. It was good actually. Helped me get over what ever left over quilt I felt for Gabby for good.” I explained.

“So… You and Brett?” 

“Hah, finally…” I laughed. “Remember when I asked how things were so hard?”

“Yeah… We were dying from the hangover” Kelly laughed

“I guess we were the once making this hard for us… Admitting my feelings for her earlier would’ve saved a lot of heartache.” 

“Yeah, we can be stupid to be honest… But it took you long enough. She has been a mess ever since the accident.” Kelly said.

“So I’ve heard.” I took a pause before continuing. “I’ve heard that so were you…”. I could see him straightening his posture. He had locked his eyes to the cigar, and he was clearly thinking what  
he could say.

“Yeah… It was hard for all of us dr. Phil.” He tried to joke.

“I know… Again I’m sorry for keeping you all out of the loop. I’m doing okay now. Well mentally at least.” I tried to reason with him. 

“It’s going to be hard not seeing you in the office next to me…” Kelly sighed.

“I know… That’s why I couldn’t bring myself to call you.” 

“So… what now?”

“Now I’ll take even more space in here, I’ll hang half of my days in the hospital. I’m very weary when it comes to Will’s march-miracle.”

“March-miracle?”

“Umm yeah… So…” I really didn’t want to get anyones hopes up. “My legs have some movement. Look, sometimes the paralysis can be temporary, but it’s very rare. So I don’t want to get your hopes up about that.”

“Okay… What would that mean?”

“That could mean that I’d be able to walk or that could mean that I’d be as good as new…” 

“Huh… That’s good to hear man. But what ever it is, you and me, we’re a team even with those two wine heads downstairs.” Kelly laughed and we bumped our fists. 

“Brothers.” I responded. When have we been this sappy..?

“Okay, getting a bit too sappy” he could read my mind. “So, how come you talked to Sylvie?”

“Well she actually broke into my physio session. Saw me break a stick. Talked to me. I yelled her to get lost. She didn’t listen. I said that I loved her. She said it back. We yelled some more until I explained myself and here we are.” I laughed. What a mess…

"Damn, you said you love her? I mean it was obvious but I just didn't think you'd admit it so fast." Kelly laughed and earned a quick jab to his chest.

"It kinda just came out. Feels good though." I couldn't help but smile. "She was caught a bit off guard there, but she said it back. Didn't think she would to be honest. After all I've put her through.

“Sounds like you two. Two of the most self sacrificing idiots...It's only fitting that you'd think the other on wasn't interested like that. ” Severide responded with a chuckle. “Sure we didn’t interrupt anything down there?”

“Hahah, no. We were just talking. You know, civilly.” 

“Suuure…” He winked at me.

“Dude, you can’t say anything. I’ve walked in on you and Stella at least ten times. Like you do have a room, why is it always the couch?” I cringed at the thought.

“Well when it’s just there…” Kelly started but I had to cut him off

“You know what, I don’t think I need to know that!” I got chills and took a long draw of the cigar I had.

“Well, you’re the one that asked! But you do realise how many double-dates they are already planning?” He chuckled.

“Oh god… We’re not even together officially.”

“Man… You are as good as married by now…”

I responded with hitting his shoulder. He was right though… We were exceptionally close for two people that weren’t even dating. 

“Should we head downstairs? You’re really home for good?” He asked whilst getting up.

“Yeah… Home for good.” I smiled and rolled my way behind him. 

SYLVIE’S POV

“Soooooo” Stella started and did a very over the top wink to me as she poured the wine in my class.

“Yeah.” I couldn’t help but smile. 

“You and Casey. Together for good?” 

“Yeah. I’m happy.”

“Okay, tell me what happened!”

“Well… I went into his physio appointment yesterday after shift and we talked not so calmly. And then he kinda slipped the L-word and said really nice things.” I explained

“Really? He said that he loves you?” she said almost spilling her wine.

"Yeah, I almost chocked as well. I mean I knew that he had feelings but love??"

"No I'm not shocked at that, everyone knows that, I'm shocked that he actually said that" Stella laughed.

"Oh shush you..." I swatted her shoulder and sipped my wine.

Kidd sipped her wine “Did you talk about the last problem?”

“Yeah. He explained himself. He’s been in therapy and I guess that helped a lot.” I leaned on the couch. 

“I’m so happy that we all are happy!! Finally!” Stella laughed. 

“Yeah, I guess we just decided that we shouldn’t let our history stand in the way of something amazing.” I sighed.

“Cheers to that!” We laughed and raised our classes.

“So, a week from now you’ll be a lieutenant. How does it feel Stella Kidd?” I winked her

“Actually. Now that everything is good again with Kelly, I’m feeling super confident.” She smiled. “I mean I didn’t need him to pass, but I needed some ‘you got this Stella Kidd’ talk from him.” 

“I hear you. I’m so happy for you guys!” I exclaimed and couldn’t help but think about mine and Kelly’s conversation at the hospital. Our conversation drifted to Casey and Severide’s bromance and then to our call from today. After a while we heard the doorknob turn and we focused on the two guys. Both of them laughed and Kelly punched Matt quickly on his shoulder. Thank god. Everything was good between them. 

“So will you guys be staying in tonight? We could order some pizza and watch a movie?” I asked Kelly and Stella.

“Yeah we are. The usual place?” Kidd asked taking her phone.

“Of course. What movie?” Matt rolled his way to the sofa starting to lift himself so he could lie there.

“Hey man! I’ll help!” Kelly’s big brother -mode kicked in.

“No, you stay put. I can sit just fine. Actually I bet I am better at sitting than you are. I’ve been training and I’m pro.” Matt laughed as he pushed the chair from him.

“Okay fine… Want a beer?” Kelly asked him and before he even answered one was in his hand. 

“So… What movie?” Matt asked again laying on the sofa.

“I think it should be a classic.” Kelly smirked at him.

“The first one?” Matt asked him whilst reaching for the remote and I raised my eyebrow looking at Kidd.

“Fast & Furious. Every damn weekend. So welcome to your new normal!” Kidd poured more wine to my class before walking over to the couch and sitting next to Kelly.

“Oh, that sounds lovely!” I mocked before sitting next to Matt lifting his head in my lap. I pressed a gentle kiss on his lips. 

Soon enough the pizza came and we sat on the sofas talking about anything and everything from Fast & Furious to my new decorations and Cruz’s ‘I’m about to be a dad' panic-mode kicking in. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. It had been a long day and when we finished our pizzas I snuggled next to Matt on the sofa. I placed my other leg on top of him and laid my head on his chest, just like at the hospital. How will I ever sleep without him. It didn’t take long for me to close my eyes whilst the other kept on watching the movie. I could hear Matt's steady heartbeat which was probably partial reason for me falling asleep so quickly.

* * *

Few hours later I woke up all of a sudden to a loud voice, one that took me a while to locate, but after looking around I spotted Matt’s phone on the table ringing. I reached to grab it from the table.

“Matt, wake up. Your phone.” I shook him awake and handed it to him.

“Matt Casey” I could hear him answer as I lifted myself up from the couch and wiped my eyes so that they’d focus a bit better. Stella and Kelly had gone to their room and the movie had ended at some point. “Commissioner Grissom. What can I do for you?” I turned around as Matt grabbed my hand. It was almost nine and Grissom calls when Matt is in a wheelchair on medical leave. This better be good. 

“What, are you kidding me? You do know that’s never gonna happen?” I could hear him getting angrier and angrier and a deep frown filled his face. “Okay. You fight this alright? You know it’s not his fault.” He pulled me down so I sat next to him on the couch. “Fine. Night.” He shut his phone with anger I’ve rarely seen from him, always for a good reason.

“What was that?” I placed my other hand on his cheek. 

“They are holding an inquiry. On my accident. They are looking to blame Boden for what happened to me, for ordering me inside.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for your lovely comments on the last chapter - gave me some confidence! I really hope that you liked this one too!!


	10. Scapegoat Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's scapegoat time in Chicago.

MATT’S POV

“I just wanted to let you know that they are holding an inquiry. On the hotel-fire and specifically Boden’s call on ordering you inside. This went over me, I’m sorry.” I could hear commissioner sigh on the other end.

“What, are you kidding me?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. 

“Unfortunately I’m not. It’s happening soon.” Grissom explained and I could hear how tired he was. “The CFD is scared that you’ll sue and this is their solution.”

“You do know that’s never gonna stick.” 

“It’s the pencil pushers over me. I couldn’t do a damned thing when it came to my desk…” he sighed.

“Okay, you’ll fight this alright? You know it’s not his fault.” I couldn’t believe my ears. Sylvie sat next to me on the couch and the frown on her face got bigger.

“I’ll try, but you need to know that the inquiry is happening. I just wanted you to know beforehand, they’ll probably contact you tomorrow.”

“Fine, thanks chief. Night” I muttered and closed the phone with bit more force than I intended.

“What was that?” Sylvie asked me after and took her other hand and placed it on my cheek. 

“They are holding an inquiry. On my accident. They are looking to blame Boden for what happened to me, for ordering me inside.” I answered and you could hear the shock in my voice.

“What? Are you kidding me?” She exclaimed loudly.

“This is bullshit and he knows it.” I cursed a bit too loudly since I heard Kelly’s door open and he looked at us with a copyrighted Severide-frown. 

“What’s going on?” He asked

“Grissom called me. The are holding an inquiry on the hotel fire, blaming Boden for ordering me inside after what happened. They think that this’ll save them for what ever lawsuit I could press on them because of this.” I sighed and ran my hand over my face.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me?” He walked over to us. “This is text book scapegoat time. You know it and I know it…” 

“Yeah… He wanted to tell me before the pencil pushers would call…” I explained and lifted myself to a sitting position.

“They can’t seriously think that Boden is responsible for what happened to you?” Sylvie asked as she took my hand again and stroke it with her thumb.

“I don’t know… I just know that those people know nothing about firefighting and have a tendency of showing that what ever chance they get.” I looked at Sylvie and lifted my arm on her shoulder stroking her shoulder. She knows what these people are like but she didn’t think Boden would get heat from this.

“What did Gris say about this?” Kelly asked and I spotted Stella walking over to us. 

“He said that this went over him, couldn’t do anything. But he’ll fight for Boden. I mean he still knows that this isn’t his fault.” I went over our call.

“Wait what is going on? Why would this be Boden’s fault?” Stella asked as she leaned on Kelly.

“They are looking for somebody to blame if Casey sues.” Kelly’s voice was still loud. Boden was like a father to both of us and we knew that this was headquarters’s bullshit.

“After what he did for me when they held the inquiry about Otis’s death and me ordering Sylvie and Foster inside the Mattress-fire I need to do something here.” I sighed and glanced at Sylvie. I haven’t still forgiven myself for that one. I’m still not clear. I lost one of my man and one injured, the one woman that I love… I buried my head on my propped up hands.

“Case, did he say when it’ll happen?” Severide asked me.

“I umm… He said that they’ll call us tomorrow, me, Boden, Greg and probably you as well… The inquiry it self is happening soon.” I sighed and saw Sylvie eyes drift a bit when I mentioned Greg. 

“Okey. We’ll try to get some sleep. Let’s see what will they say tomorrow.” Kelly sighed and turned to head to their room.

“This day was going too well… I just knew it.” Stella sighed and turned to follow Kelly.

“Good night!” Sylvie waved them before turning back to me. “You’ll fight this, right?”

“Of course. I’m just not sure what good will my word do as a captain…” I sighed.

“Well… It is your accident in the end. I think you can change the course if you want to. But we don’t need to talk about this now. What we should do is get up and move to your room so you could actually sleep in your own bed.” She smiled and stood up reaching for my wheelchair.

“Yeah… You should stay. Just to sleep I mean. If you want to.” I could see her smile and nod. 

“Of course I’ll stay. You just need to give me a t-shirt to sleep in” she answered and I rolled behind her to my room. 

“I have some in that drawer, just pick one.” I smiled and started to get ready for bed. 

“I’ll be right there.” She said and headed to the bathroom. 

In a little while she stepped into the room wearing my old CFD academy-shirt. It had seen better days but had never looked better. Sylvie’s hair was messy and she had removed her makeup so she looked even better than before. 

“Come here, you look amazing.” I lifted the blanket and she crawled in. Her bare legs felt icy on my legs. “Damn woman. How are you this cold when you are that hot?” I laughed and shivered on her touch.

“Hah, you know just the right thing to say, don’t you?” She laughed but then it came to a sudden stop as she lifted her chest up and looked at me with wide eyes. “You felt the cold? Like from my legs?”

“Well, they are like icicles.” I answered looking bit dumbfounded at her.

“No, I mean that you felt it with your legs??”

“Oh… OH! Damn… Yeah. I guess. I mean I feel some things but…” I stuttered.

“But you felt the temperature change… Has that happened before?” She looked at me and tilted her head like a puppy that’s confused.

“No… I don’t think so…” I was cut off by a loud squeal and Sylvie hugging me tightly.

“That’s a damn good sign. You said that I shouldn’t get my hopes up, but this is very good Matt.” She kissed me and waited for me to say something.

“I… Don’t know what to say…” I sighed and hugged her pressing her soft blond hair against my chest.

“You can be a little bit happy when these kind of things happen Matt…” she whispered and hugged me closely. “But we can sleep now.” She glanced at me and I could see her grinning.

“Fine… I’m happy. Extremely happy that you are here actually.” I lifted her so I could give her a deep kiss before falling asleep. 

“Me too.” She smiled and kissed me quickly on the cheek before lowering herself to sleep against my chest. “Good night. I love you Matt.” She whispered.

“I love you too.” I whispered and kissed her head quickly. For a while I just stayed awake, stroking her hair. Even though this extremely messy business I felt calm. All was well. Slowly I too drifted off. 

SYLVIE’S POV

I woke up slowly after a good nights rest. I turned my head and saw Matt looking at me with a light smile on his face. “Good morning sunshine. Sleep well?” He asked me with groggy voice that somehow sounded even sexier. 

“I slept well. You?” 

“Actually, better than I have in many days - probably months even.” Matt answered and gave a quick kiss on my forehead. “You look beautiful.”

“You must have a concussion. I have dark circles under my eyes and my hair is pointing in every single direction possible.” I laughed and tried to brush it with my fingers. 

“You do though. I like it.” And so he took my hand in his and linked our fingers. “I could stay here forever. With you.”

“Do we have to get up?” I asked and looked at him.

“I think we do… I have therapy in an hour and then physio and let’s see if then we’ll know about the inquiry.” Matt sighed and bended to give me a kiss. 

“I can make us breakfast before you go. How does pancakes sound?” I sat on the bed.

“That. Sounds. Perfect.” Matt whispered and took my hands pulling me back to his hug. “Just not quite yet.”

“You’re the one that said that we need to get up.” I laughed and turned around so that I was facing him.

“Yes I did, but I didn’t say that we need to right now. Just stay here for a while.” He whispered and then captured my mouth with his before pulling me closer from my lower back. After about fifteen minutes of high school-style make-out session we broke apart and I finally lifted myself from his chest.

“You are trouble! We don’t have time to eat pancakes now… I’ll see if I can fry up some eggs or something before you go.” I laughed before getting up and handing him his wheelchair. I walked to the kitchen whilst Matt changed his clothes and saw Stella frying some eggs.

“Oh, you are awake already.” I walked to her looking over her shoulder. 

“Of course. I’m training at sunrise girl!” She answered. “Want some?”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind. Matt’s taxi is coming soon.”

“Of course! So, sleep well?” Stella grinned.

“Hah, like a log!” I smiled and lifted my hand on her shoulder. “This smells divine Stella Kidd.”

“You should eat my crepes girl.” She laughed. “Hand me a plate will you?”

“Here.” I gave her one and heard some sounds behind me. I gave Matt a quick smile before grabbing the plate from Stella. “You’ll get some eggs before therapy” I handed it to him. “Eat up before it gets cold.” I gave him a small kiss before going back to Stella and taking my plate. 

“Ahh these are so good Stella! Marry me please?”

“Sylvie… Ditching me so soon?” Matt laughed and pouted.

“Never you babe, but I do need someone to cook for me and I think she just made the top of that list.” I smirked.

“Nice! But Casey does cook damn well. That chicken you did couple of weeks ago was everything” Stella did a chefs kiss.

“Damn, you’ve been holding out on me Matt Casey. Am I ever going to taste that?” I walked over to him.

“Maybe some day.” He smirked and gave me a small kiss. “Will you take the plate, I think I need to go down now.”

“Yeah of course. Call me after.” I gave him another kiss.

“Always.”

“Case, wait! I’ll walk you out.” Kelly called out from their room to Matt when he was about to take his coat. 

“Sure. I’ll see you guys later.” Matt waved at me and Stella before disappearing out of the door. 

“So… Look’s like it’s scapegoat time?” I could hear Kelly sigh before they closed the front door.

“So, what are you going to do today?” Stella asked and took a bite of her eggs.

“I’ll head to my apartment and then I don’t know.”

“Well… I could use some help with my training if you’re up for it?”

“That sounds like a plan! I should probably go and put some actual clothes on?” I laughed when I realised that I was still wearing Matt’s shirt that was just long enough to cover half of my thighs.

“We’ll leave in twenty minutes?”

“Works for me!” I walked to Matt’s room and laid down on his bed looking at the ceiling. The bed smelled like him, actually, it smelled like home. Damn this was a good start to this day.

* * *

We had been training or I had taken time and Stella had been training for couple of hours when my phone rang and I saw Matt’s name on the screen.

“Hi! How was the physio?”

“It was good. I’m making good process.” I could hear him answer but there was something else in his voice.

“Good, how about therapy?”

“That was good too. We talked about Otis and the mattress fire. I guess I’ve never really dealt with that whole thing.” He answered.

“That sounds good. It’s really nice that you have some help. You know. Dealing with this all. You know that I’m always there if you need someone to talk to.” I smiled but got no response. “Matt, is everything okay?”

“They called. They’ll hold the inquiry Monday, during shift.” He sighed. Damn that was quick as hell… “They had already called the others so I think I’ll call Severide and see if he would like to see Boden before that.”

“Yeah, I think that sounds good. They really sped this process up, huh…” I sighed.

“I know…” 

“Well, text me when you know more and I’ll see you tonight.” I smiled.

“What’s tonight?”

“Umm… nothing. I just thought that I’d come and stay with you guys if I’m welcome.”

“Of course. I’d love to have you here with me. I’ll text you the details later. Bye Sylvie.” I could hear him say from the other end as I turned over to Stella who was standing next to me checking her gear.

“The inquiry is next shift.”

“Damn, tomorrow? That was quick.” She looked at me. “They’ll figure this out, right? Like always.”

“Yes. Like always.” I gave her a smile, but to be honest I was a tiny bit scared. Luck hasn’t been on our side for a while now. 

MATT’S POV

I sat on our sofa with Kelly nursing a beer, the mood was grim since we were threading tomorrows hearing. We had been quiet for good fifteen minutes, before we heard a knock on the door and Kelly got up to let Boden in. 

“Hey, want a beer?” I lifted one at him which he took quickly without a shadow of a smile on his face.

“After this god forsaken day, I need ten…” He sighed and sat on the chair. 

“The CFD is scared. I called Gris after they called me and he filled me in on what happened. Apparently Casey’s accident put up some red flags especially fast since we’re talking about 51.” Kelly sighed.

“Yeah… as per usual. The last one was difficult, but this is ridiculous. They have no ground to stand on.” I looked at my bottle and the label was half off from me peeling it the whole time. 

“I don’t know. If they want to, they’ll find some reason to get me out.” Boden took a sip of his beer.

“They don’t. I…” I started when my phone lit up and started ringing. “Just a sec” I took it and looked at the name on the screen.

“Ganger, what’s up?”

“I got a call from headquarters.” He said. “About a childish inquiry?”

“Yeah… Me too. It’s ridiculous.” I sighed. “So…”

“Say Boden that I’m backing him up. They can’t make something like this stick when nobody is on their side.” Greg sighed on the phone. Like I said. A damn good guy.

“I’ll tell him. Take care, we’ll see Monday.”

“Yeah, you too. Bye.” I closed the phone and turned to the two men sitting next to me. “Greg says that he’s backing you up all the way.” 

“Thanks. It’s good to know that.” Boden sighed. 

“We’ll beat this, we always do.” I lifted my bottle and took a sip. 

“Yeah… I’m just not sure if we have tempted the faith too many times.” Boden looked at me.

Silence fell to the place. Nobody knew what to say. How has this happened to us again? The night felt weird somehow. Thank god I had Sylvie by my side. If she wouldn’t have come to my physio I’d be a mess in my hospital room right now. Sleeping next to her calmed me down immensely especially I knew what would happen tomorrow.

“Hey Sylvie.” I whispered her when we were about to sleep.

“Yeah?” She turned facing me and I could see that she was worried about either tomorrow or the tone of my voice.

“I just… I talked to dr. Charles about the… Mattress fire and…” I mumbled trying to avoid her gaze.

“Matt, what is it?” She took placed her hand on my cheek and turned my head so that she could look into my eyes.

“I umm… I’m sorry for what happened to you then.” I sighed and looked at her. Slowly the frown melted away and she stroke my cheek with her thumb.

“Hey, that was not your fault. You need to know that I meant what I wrote you back then. I would’ve gone there either way.” She looked at me and continued. “Have you been worrying about this ever since?”

“I lost a man that day. I’ll never be clear, but I’ve made my peace with it, but with you. I… I love you Sylvie and I just don’t know what I would’ve done if something worse had happened and I couldn’t have told you about my feelings.”

“No you’re not allowed to think like that. I’m fine. And I love you too. You are NOT responsible for that accident. Just like Boden is not responsible for yours.” She smiled at me and gave my a kiss. Just like that the worry and quilt I had carried for a long time melted away. I deepened the kiss and moved my hand to the back of her head. After a while she lifted her head up and looked at me.

“Wait. You had feelings for me back then?” Her eyes were wide.

“Well… Yes and no. I tried, I really tried to get rid of them when you got engaged, but it was hard. Almost as hard as you with Greg.” I smiled. 

“You told me that I should be with him? Kyle I mean...”

“Well I did... I also tried to ask you out the day before until I saw you at Molly’s with him. You seemed so happy and I decided to let you go.” I sighed and smiled a little, stroking her back with my hand.

“I was saying bye to him back then. At Molly’s. I had feelings for you as well. That game night and that moment I think we had after the roman candle war call.”

“Yeah... we did.” I smiled. “For me it was the night you took care of the little boy at 51 when I realized that my feelings for you weren’t just... well friendly.” 

“That was almost two years ago Matt...”

“I know.”

“Wow...” She sighed. “You know when I knew I had feelings for you? I mean first, Olivia said that you and I were meant to be together. But I think the time I knew that I really fell for you was when you offered to drive me to Rockford.”

“Anything for you. Always.” I kissed her forehead.

“I know. Anything for you as well. I love you a lot, you know that captain?” She smirked at me

“Good, I love you a lot as well.” I pulled her on top of me and she let out a squeal. “I also love you spending time with me.” I gave her many kisses all over her face.

“You are weird Matt Casey” she laughed “Stop that, it tickles!” She tried to shove me away but I held her tightly and kissed her intensely. After that the mood changed and she put her hand behind my neck and pulled me closer. Just this, the intimacy of holding each other close was I think somehow saving me. Slowly the kissing changed me holding her in my arms. It felt strange being this vulnerable with someone especially in the bed. I have always wanted to protect her, but it was different now that it felt like she was protecting me as well. Slowly we fell asleep, my worries about tomorrows events felt smaller when she was in my arms her blonde hair framing her face.

* * *

In the morning Kelly left for shift with Sylvie and Stella and I stayed at home since the inquiry would be held at ten. Dressing in my uniform was twice as hard in a wheelchair. At about nine I rolled my way downstair to get in a taxi. And here we go.

Here we were yet again. The Headquarters seemed somehow bigger back then even though I am half as tall I was back then. After a while we were called in and I was asked to go to the table I stood in front of the last time, I cringed at the thought. The inquiry started and everybody stood up. Well, everyone except me. I got some confused looks from the people who obviously didn’t bother to read why we were here at first place.

“First, we will listen to mr. Casey’s stand on how the events of the march second occurred.” The lady on red said. And so the game was on and the man who was clearly in charge coughed as to raise attention to himself.

“You see Mr. Casey…” The man started.

“It’s captain, sir.” I cut him pointedly. Hell, if they really make me go over those events yet again they can at least give me the respect of calling me by my rank.

“…captain. As I was saying. Captain Casey and Lieutenant Grainger were ordered to enter the building by Chief Wallace Boden even when all other units had cleared their stories. In the building a beam dropped on Captain Casey, who was then rushed to Chicago Med to emergency surgery. Captain Casey is now in a wheelchair because of parablegic paralysis. I think it’s safe to say that the outcome could’ve been different if Chief Boden had given the order to evacuate sooner. We’ll give Captain Casey the floor now.” He said emphasising the word captain. 

“I took this job knowing the risks. There was a victim inside and we had a good window of time to get her from there, which is why I suggested going in. The only reason this happened was that the one beam that nobody could’ve expected to fall, fell. That is not mine or Greg Grainger’s fault and it definitely is not Chief Boden’s fault. So if you are looking for someone to take the fall, don’t worry. I was doing my job, CFD is not responsible for what happened. So I’m not going to sue Boden or anyone else in this room. You on the other hand might want to take a good look at the firefighters in this room, who also sacrifice their lives every day for you, before accusing one of them.” I answered him. “Sir.”

The room went quiet. I might’ve stepped over the line but him accusing my chief was wrong on so many levels.

“Captain Casey… We don’t”

“I mean, that’s what this whole charade is all about, right? Me suing you?” I asked.

After that the men sitting before me went quiet. We all knew what this was about. I mean they couldn’t fire me for subordination firstly because none of these clowns were actually high in rank, second because I didn’t actually work for the clowns at the moment and third I was still able to sue the clowns for mental distress or some shit.

After that the whole thing was clear and it took us barely twenty minutes until they let us go and I rolled out of the big wooden doors.

“So… What happened?” Sylvie was sitting in the lobby.

“Boden was cleared of all wrongdoing.” I said rolling closer to her.

“Ah thank god!” She hugged me quickly before the chief walked to the hallway. “Ah chief. I was just about to go.” She stood up like a soldier and was about to head out before he asked or more like ordered her to stay. 

“You two…” I pointed at us with a frown on his forehead. “I’m happy that you have each other.” He patted my back and and chuckled.

“Thanks Chief” I laughed and got a kiss from Sylvie, we then spotted Severide and Grainger walking out of the room looking at us. Greg gave us a big smile before waving us good bye “We’ll see at Molly’s, captain!” He winked.

“Thanks Greg!” I hollered at him. 

Sylvie flashed the Brett-smile before her radio crackled 

\- Ambulance 61. Man down from unknown causes. 72 Lincoln Avenue. - 

“Duty calls” she kissed my cheek quickly before running down the stairs. “I’ll see you tomorrow before your appointment!” I could hear her yell from the stairs.

“Are you sure you don’t want to visit 51?” Boden asked before heading downstairs.

“I’m sure. Another day.” I smiled and made my way towards the elevators. 

“Right. Thank you Matt.” He shook my hand.

“Anything for you, after what you did for me after Otis.” I smiled. “I’ll see you after shift I waved at Kelly and the two of them walked away. Damn do I wish I could go to 51 with them, to my quarters and jump into 81. I shook the thoughts out of my head as the elevator doors closed. Yet another crisis averted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	11. Domesticity Looks Good on Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt and Sylvie feel domestic.  
> Fluff really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning, this will be a bit dialogue-heavy (meaning it's basically just dialogue)! Oopsie..!

MATT’S POV

“Come on in Matt.” I heard Will’s voice from the doorway next to me. “So, how have you been feeling?” 

“Pretty good actually. I umm… I felt cold? In my legs I mean… And Sylvie said that that’s good. Is that good?”

“That is very good. So I know I’m not dr. Charles and he handles the therapy, but how have you been doing? Still ‘just friends’ with Sylvie?”

“Hah… I’ve been doing a lot better.”

“No headaches?”

“No” I answered honestly

“That’s good to hear. So we’ll take CT-scan again so we can be sure that everything is okay, but I don’t see why it wouldn’t be.” Will explained. “So you can feel heat, Jesse told me you can’t move  
your legs, but you have some movement in your toes?”

“Yeah, I can wiggle them a little.” 

“That’s good. The situation seems a lot more hopeful than we could’ve wished for.” Will smiled. “It’s long way for you. Moving your legs seems a pretty good possibility, but after that, gaining the same power you had previously is hard and you’ll see a lot of Jesse.”

“I know. I’ll do the work if I get the possibility.” I assured him.

“After all the years I’ve known you, I have no doubt that you will.” He smiled. 

“I think the first time we met was the suicide-bombing here? You were new in town?” I said.

“Yeah, I totally forgot. Damn we’ve had some drama here. You guys more than anyone else…” He sighed.

“Hah, I guess so. But still in one piece.” 

“It’s a miracle! So I think we’ll get you to the scan now and you can then get to Jesse and Doctor Charles.” Will got up and pushed me out of his room.

“Let’s do it.” I smiled.

Everything went well at the doctors. The CT was clear so no more surprises and Jesse was able to add more exercises to our routine. Even dr. Charles was positively surprised by my mood when we discussed Sylvie. Ever since our chat about Gabby last week my mind has been a lot clearer when it come’s to Sylvie. He was happy that I had talked to her about her injury in the mattress-fire and to be honest, I was as well, it had given me a lot of peace. He did warn me that next time we’d discuss my childhood which I was less excited about.

After the therapy I rolled my way to the elevator when I heard Sylvie’s voice behind me.

“Hey! What did Will say? How did physio go? How about therapy?” She bombarded me with questions before giving me time to say hello myself. 

“Hey to you too. You didn’t have to come here” I laughed and gave her a kiss. 

“You didn’t answer my questions” She pouted.

“All is well! Positive, like you said it would be.” I smiled. 

“Good.” Her frown turned into a smile.

“Very good.” I smiled as we entered the elevator. “So, you coming to our place or do you need to go home?” I asked her.

“I can come with you. I went to a spin class after shift and changed home before coming here.” She smiled and leaned to my chair.

“Damn, you’ve been productive.” I laughed.

* * *

“How about a nap?” I asked as soon as we got to the apartment.

“Ah that sounds heavenly! We had a big fire in the middle of the night so I’ve slept like two hours. I’ll take your shirt again. Sorry but it’s just too good not to sleep in.”

“Oh go for it, looks better on you.” I smiled. “So how was the call?”

“It was a big warehouse so a lot of men and a lot of smoke… Only few serious injuries thankfully. Just took us a while to get everybody out of there.” She recapped. “We lost one…”

“You should’ve said something to me… Are you okay?” I took her hand.

“Yeah I’m okay I guess. It never stops being hard, but I’m fine.”

“Just think of all the lives you saved.” I squeezed her shoulder.

“I know. I do.” She gave me a weak smile. “I think I just need to sleep the shift off.”

I was just about to get to bed with her when I could hear a knock on the door.

“How the hell is it possible for him to lose his keys again… I’ll be right back.” I sighed and rolled over to the door to let Kelly in, but someone else was staring at me. A bit angry look on her face…

“Christie. What’s up?” I asked hoping that Sylvie heard me and wouldn’t come here. I mean Christie is a monster when it comes to my relationships, she’d really give Voight run for his money when it comes to interrogation. She will love Sylvie but I’m really not looking forward to sending her to the wolf.

“So you aren’t dead. That’s good to see.” She tapped her foot on the floor.

“No, not dead.” I sighed

“Nice. You might let me know about those kind of things before I need to come here my self."

“Well…” I started, but she interrupted me.

“Why didn’t you answer my calls?”

“Sorry sis. To be honest, I didn’t contact anyone. But I’m good.” I answered.

“Well that wheelchair tells me a different story.” She looked at me up and down.

“Well I am paralysed.” 

“WHAT? That’s not ‘being good Matt’” She exclaimed

“It might go away…” I tried to calm her down.

“It MIGHT go away? What’s that supposed to mean” At that point she had walked inside the apartment.

“It might. It means that I can feel touch and I can feel heat but I can’t move them much. Except my toes. So… Like I said, it might.” I rolled back taking a peak at my door which was thankfully closed.

“Have you told mom about this?” Christie asked

“What do you think?” I hadn’t talked to her more than once in a year, Christmas usually. 

“Right…”

“So, I’m fine Christie. You can go.” I tried to usher her out of the door.

“I can, but do you need help here?” She looked around the apartment.

“No, I really don’t. I have everything covered and Kelly is coming home later so we can just see each other again Sunday. For dinner?”

“Are you sure?”

At that point I heard a phone ring in my room. Sylvie… And since it’s Sylvie she can’t not answer the phone. I sighed and Christie looked confused when she heard quiet “Sylvie” from my room. 

“So… What else are you not telling me Matt?” Christie turned back at me, rising her eyebrow.

“Ah, I totally forgot, Sylvie came by!” I tried to sound as innocent as possible.

“Matthew Casey.” She gave me a pointed look.

“Okay fine… But we are NOT even dating so don’t get any ‘family-dinner’ thoughts in your head.” I sighed

“Oh brother, I’ve had those thoughts for a year now. Have you not realised how much you talk about her?” She laughed.

“I…”

“Plus, she definitely loves you.” She added.

“I know… Wait! How do you know?” 

“She was at the hospital last week… And I know what I saw…”

“Which was what?” I sighed rubbing my eyes tired of this interrogation. But to be completely honest I was maybe a bit curious.

“Her crying and being more of a mess than me…” she smiled

“Good to know how much you care about me sis” I tried to joke

“Hah, you’re so damn funny!” She nudged me.

“But seriously… SYLVIE!” She yelled and I buried my face in my hands… My door opened slowly and Sylvie walked in, thankfully she had enough time that she could put on her jeans. 

“Hi Christie! It’s nice to see you again” she smiled at her.

“Hi! So… Good friends huh?”

“Please do excuse my sister. She knows no boundaries.” I looked at Sylvie.

“Well…”

“Because, you know that academy-shirt you are wearing tells me other things.” She added. Damnit. I could see the panic on Sylvie’s face.

“Okay, I think it’s time you go Christie. But it was wonderful that you stopped by.” I tried to push her out of the door.

“Or I could make us some coffee if you’d like?” Sylvie smiled.

“Actually. That sounds wonderful!” Christie laughed and followed Sylvie to the kitchen.

“You have no idea what you set in motion…” I whispered Sylvie once I reached her. “I thought you needed to sleep.”

“I can sleep later, It’s nice to get to know your family. Especially now that I’m not crying or throwing up…” Sylvie laughed. Throwing up??

“Throwing up?” I could hear Christie ask from the table. “You didn’t get her pregnant, right bro??” She looked at me with wide I’m gonna murder you - eyes.

“NO! Christie…” I exclaimed running my hand over my face. “Like I said, no boundaries.”

“I’m not pregnant, no. I mean just that I was a mess the last time we saw each other so I’m happy to get to know you now.” Sylvie explained.

“Wait… You’ve said about the crying, nothing about the throwing up??” I took her hand.

“Oh it was nothing. Nerves, you know. And I didn’t eat anything when you were in surgery.” She tried to calm me.

“Hey, you were that worried about me?” I asked with wide eyes.

“Like I said. She was more scared than me…” Christie commented from the table. I had, to be honest, forgotten about her.

“I’m so sorry…” I sighed running my thumb over her palm. 

“It’s not your fault. I’m the one that wanted distance and thought that you were together with the redhead.” She laughed.

“What? We went on one date. She actually said that ‘it’s hard not to notice the way I look at you’… There was nothing more…” I explained.

“I know. Stella told me. And Kelly…” she gasped and put her hand over her mouth.

“Kelly??”

“That was supposed to be a secret. Don’t tell him that I told you!” She pointed at me.

“I won’t… I missed a lot with that surgery…” I laughed.

“Okay so, do you use sugar Christie?” Sylvie turned back to her with the pot on her hand.

“Just black for me, thanks!” Christie smiled. “So… You’re from Fowlerton, right? That’s were your folks live?”

“Yeah, born and raised farm girl.” Sylvie laughed. “So, how was younger Matthew Casey?”

“Oh no, we don’t have to talk about that!” I tried to interrupt with no success.

“He was every parents dream. Had a lot of friends, everybody liked him even when he was the sweet mr. Violence is not the answer. Did a lot of dumb things like jumping from bridges to the river…” Christie sighed. He obviously didn’t want to talk about the later events. 

“So he hasn’t changed at all?” Sylvie smirked. “I mean you did jump from a roof to the river and you did jump from the bridge” 

“You did what??” Christie smacked my shoulder.

“Well it was life or death.”

“I give you the building, but the bridge was definitely not life or death…” Sylvie commented.

“What does she mean?” Christie turned her gaze to me. Like I said, she’d be better at interrogation than Voight…

“The building was the one they photographed to the paper with me and Kelly. And then there was this accident and this one drove off the bridge.” I explained

“And you had to jump after the ambo? You do know that it’s not the same without the metal car around you?”

“Oh no, he jumped from the moving truck first!” Sylvie threw my to the wolf.

“You did what??” Christie repeated her earlier question.

“Well… They had driven the ambo down to the embankment AND we didn’t know wether they’d be alive or not so I did what I had to.” 

“Which included jumping out of a moving truck and a bridge? Always have to be the Captain America do you?” She sighed. “Do you have anything stronger, I don’t think my big-sister-heart can take this.”

“I’m fine. I don’t usually get into that much trouble, but sometimes you just have to do it, you know.” I took a sip of the coffee. “Besides, jumping out of the truck I’d do all over again for you.” I looked at Sylvie and squeezed her hand.

“I know you would, I’d just prefer if you wouldn’t…” She answered.

“Well, with me in this thing, I think you don’t have to worry.” I smiled. “So, I think the recapping of my childhood is over, don’t you?”

“Oh no! I want to hear about the baby-years too!” Sylvie exclaimed.

“Oh I have photos!” My sister walked over to us and took out her phone.

“How the hell? Do you just carry my childhood photos if you ever have the chance to show them to someone?”

“Well… Yes.” She nodded and showed the first one where I was literally a baby. The picture was taken from an old photo.

“Don’t worry, I have pictures of my baby bro too…” Sylvie smiled. “Aww. Matt you were so cute! Look how chubby. Such an angel.”

“He really was. Look here. Bright hair and blue eyes.” Christie smiled scrolling through the photos. “You guys will make absolutely adorable babies!” 

That came out pretty nonchalantly…

“Did I make this extremely awkward for you two? Please don’t break up because of me!” She hugged us laughing before turning to her seat.

“And here is my family. I think you need to save yourself now…” I said to Sylvie.

“I think this is pretty great. I’m not going anywhere.” She gave me a quick kiss. “So how about you. You’re a teacher right?”

“Yeah, I teach English in high school. I actually really love it.” She smiled. “Violet isn’t a fan because now I’m her teacher.”

“That must be fun.” Sylvie laughed. “So Violet is in High School?”

“Yes she is. It’s the fun stage of not listening to me and running off with some boy.”

“Excuse me??” I exclaimed. “Boy??”

“Oh dear… Protective uncle mode activated. They are good kids. I know all of them.” Christie smiled.

“I’m going to talk to her next Sunday…” I sighed.

“Oh Sylvie you should come with! Violet has been waiting for you two to become something.” Christie said. “I think she couldn’t finish her interrogation at the hospital.”

“That sounds lovely, but we have shift Sunday.” Sylvie answered.

“We’ll make it Saturday!” Christie always found a way to interrogate my girlfriends.

“We’ll be there!” Sylvie said.

“Yeah, I guess we will…” I smiled. I had my arm on Sylvie’s chairs back.

“I should get going. I just wanted to see if you were alive and that job is done.” Christie said as she reached for her jacket. “I’m really happy that he found you Sylvie. It’s been long time since I saw him even half this happy.” 

“Thanks, the feeling is mutual.” Sylvie smiled back following Christie to the door.

“Good to hear. So, we’ll see Saturday!” Christie said stepping out of the apartment.

“Yeah. Thanks sis!” I waved before she closed the door.

“So…” I turned to face Sylvie.

“I think she liked me?” She looked hopeful.

“I think she loved you. Don’t blame her to be honest.” I smiled.

“You’re too sweet for you own good Matthew Casey.” Sylvie laughed and gave me a small kiss before turning to my room. 

SYLVIE’S POV

“Should we sleep now?” I asked Matt.

“Yes! Finally! A nap!” He sighed. 

The sleep came quickly. I was exhausted. I woke up around 7 pm and he was already awake smiling at me.

“How long have you been staring at me like that?”

“Not long, you look cute when you snore.”

“Shush! I don’t snore!” I smacked his shoulder.

"Yes you do. But don't worry, it's this cute snore that sounds more of like a whale than an airplane like Cruz's." He laughed and got another smack on his shoulder before before I got up to put some sweatpants on. 

“I need food” I sighed.

“No, you need to get here so I can get some hugs” Matt smiled, reached to grab my hand and pulling me back to bad.

“Okay… Just for a while though.” I snuggled back to his chest. “You smell nice.”

“So do you” He smiled and ran his finger up and down my bare arm. 

“HEY!” I exclaimed sitting straight up. “I know what we should do. You go to your stomach and I’ll write on your back and you guess what I write!”

“You are overly excited about this but let’s do it!” He answered and rolled over.

“Okay, I’ll start!” And so I ran my finger over his bare back. He guessed quickly that I wrote Tuesday then Pouch. I felt like a kid giggling on the bed.

“Okay, turn over, my turn!” He turned on his side and lifted my shirt so he touched my bare back. It was weird how that gave me tingly feeling in the stomach. 

“Okay, so I’ll guess!” The first word he wrote was Ambo 61.

“Okay, the next one!” Matt laughed and started to write.

“Okay, stop moving!” 

“D? A? T? E? ? You wrote date?” I guessed and turned around.

“So, Sylvie Brett, would you like to go out with me tomorrow, on an official date?” He was smiling at me. 

“Of course! It’s been a long time coming!” I couldn’t help but smile and give him a kiss. “Where are we going?” 

“I’m not telling you that!” He sighed and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before turning away. “Somewhere fancy.” He sat up and put a t-shirt on before moving to his chair. “Should we go eat?”

“Duuude… How am I supposed to know what to wear now?” I stood up behind him.

“Well duuude, you just need to go with your instincts. You look good in whatever you wear.” He smiled rolled over to the living room where Severide and Kidd were reading. Probably Stella’s lieutenant-material. “So should we order something?” He asked the three of us.

“Ahh yes! Some Chinese?” Stella yelled from the sofa. “I’m starving!”

“Okay, put your orders in.” Matt gave me the phone. “How’s the studying going Kidd?”

“It’s going okay…” She sighed and took the phone.

“She’s being modest… She knows her stuff.” Kelly laughed. 

“I’m not modest. I’m just trying not to jinx it, you know.” Stella handed him the phone.

“Either way, she’s amazing.” I hyped her. “I mean she’s unstoppable.”

“Never a doubt, Stella Kidd.” Matt smiled. 

“Well thank you Captain.” Stella smiled at him. “So, what about you? What did Will say?”

“It’s going well. I can move my toes so, progress.” Matt smiled. 

“You can??” Kelly chimed in.

“Yeah, it’s not much but it’s something.” Matt answered. 

“That is so good to hear.” Kelly did some sort of bro-handshake whilst he was walking to the kitchen to grab us something to drink. “I’m assuming wine for you two?” 

“You think we drink too much Stella?” I asked after we both nodded to Kelly’s question.

“Naah…” Stella laughed and we sat in the table. 

“You’re right. We are flawless.” I winked at her taking my class from Kelly. 

“Omg I totally forgot! Bachelor is on tonight! Like in an hour!” Stella exclaimed. “Please tell me you watched the last episode?”

“Of course! It. Was. Amazing. Television masterpiece!” I laughed

“Oh god…” Kelly sighed.

“Oh don’t be so macho… You love it!” Stella stroke Kellys arm.

“You do, do you?” Matt winked.

“No… I just love the woman who makes me watch it. And there is no stopping the Kidd.” Kelly laughed and gave Stella a kiss.

“Aaawwh, you guys are cute. So we are watching it tonight?” I asked.

“Totally!” Stella exclaimed.

“Matt?” I asked him pouting a little. 

“Fine… For you.” He laughed. Soon enough the doorbell rang and our food came. The conversation flowed and we talked about anything and everything. 

“OMG! Did you know Mouch got a tattoo??” I exclaimed once I remembered what Cruz had told me last shift.

“WHAT?” Was the collective answer.

“Trudy’s name” 

“Well I guess that’s kind of cute?” Stella said whilst both Kelly and Matt shook their heads.

“…I don’t think you are ready to know where he got it…” I continued, laughing internally. 

“Oh no, I don’t think I need to know that!” Matt said interrupting me.

“His butt…” I just had to say it and I erupted laughing so hysterically that I was crying. The three others remained quiet.

“Are you kidding me?” Kidd finally asked.

“Yeah, definitely didn’t need to know that…” Matt sighed whilst I continued laughing.

“How can I ever watch him in the eye?” Severide took a big gulp from his beer.

Eventually I stopped laughing and wiped the tears off my face. I turned to look at Matt who smiled.

“What are you looking at?” I asked.

“You are such a dork hun” He laughed and got a light smack on his shoulder, which set him off even more and soon he was laughing as much as I was just second ago and that laugh was infectious as hell. So then we both were laughing like crazy and I held his shoulder. Eventually my stomach started to cramp.

“Auch… I can’t… Think about it… He lost a bet…” I tried to get the words out and it was mostly just me laughing silently. I looked up seeing the other couple looking at us extremely confused.

“What?” I asked. “That was funny!”

“You guys are such dorks…” Kelly sighed.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard Casey laugh?” Kidd looked at Kelly. “You think he’s okay?” 

“I’ve heard… It was the time Andy tripped on that hose and ended up dangling from the roof.” Kelly explained.

“That was amazing!” Matt pointed at Kelly who chuckled. “And I too have laughed.”

“NOPE” was the collective answer from the other couple and now that I’m thinking I don’t think I’ve seen him laugh this much since… Well I don’t even know.

“You did laugh that one time, you know, Stable table mate.” I emphasised my Australian-accent at the end.

“Still worse than mine.” He winked.

“This is too confusing…” Kidd sighed and sipped her wine. “It’s like you stored the laughter all these years and now you opened the gates…”

“Well, I am happy. Extremely happy.” He smiled.

“Toast! To being happy!” Stella lifted her glass.

“Yes!” I laughed. 

“So, should we put the TV on, the bachelor is about to start?” I said as I gathered my plate.

“Yes!” Stella smiled.

“I can put these away. It’s the least I can do since I’m staying at yours” I ushered them out of the kitchen. “Take the bottle, I’ll need a refill soon.” 

“Sylvie, thank you.” Matt said taking my hand.

“For what?” I sat on his lap bringing my hand on his cheek.

“For being so happy that I’m happy.” He smiled and gave me a kiss.

From behind I could hear Stella comment “Domesticity looks good on them.” I couldn’t help but smile. This is all I was looking for. Us together. At home after work, eating junk and watching junk. I mean fancy dates are nice time to time, I don’t want a boring life, but this right here. Perfect. 

“You two! The show’s about to start!” Kelly shouted from the sofa. 

“Coming!” I yelled back and stood up. 

The evening was relaxing, we went to bed early, in part because of how tired we were, partly because snuggling next to Matt was the best thing ever. 

“So, date tomorrow?” I asked lifting my head from his chest so I could look at him. 

“Yes.” He smiled.

“You’re still not going to give me any details?”

“Nope. You’ll see soon enough”

“That’s not fair…” I punched his shoulder lightly. “You know how impatient I get.” I sighed and blobbed my head back to his chest dramatically.

“Sorry babe, you just need to wait.” He winked and gave me a kiss on the top of my head.

“Fine… For you.” I sighed and lifted my head to give him a kiss. “I’ll go to my place in the morning so I can get ready.” I smiled.

“Sounds good. I’ll pick you up with my fabulous taxi at about seven.” He smiled.

“Can’t wait!” 

I was surprised how easy it was for me to fall asleep even though my mind was spinning about our date. The heartbeat I heard and steady breathing I felt on his chest calmed me down immensely. In the morning I finally tasted Stella’s crepes and they in fact were divine. 

* * *

Okay… Panic mode has officially kicked in since I got back to my apartment. How the hell am I this nervous. I mean we are basically together already. And I was so calm all morning when I was there, but now I was sweaty and red and excited and every other emotion you can possibly feel. The feeling on top was the usual; what the hell do I wear to this thing??

There’s the obvious solution to this. Croup FaceTime-call. So I rang Stella and Em. Thankfully it didn’t take too long for them to answer. 

"Hey what’s up?" I could hear them ask at the same time.

“Okay I need help, I’m half way down my wine bottle and it’s really not helping calm my nerves… I’m going on a date with Matt tonight…”

“Finally!” Stella exclaimed

“I thought that you were together already!” I could heard Emily question.

“Well they’ve just slept together for days and been in love with each other for a year but NOT dating…” Stella sighed

“Hey!!” I tried to cut in.

“NICE!” Emily yelled and danced behind the screen.

“We have not been sleeping together!” I declared.

“Well you have been sleeping in his room and I do hear a lot of noises!” Stella winked.

“Hey!!” I tried to cut in but no go again.

“NICE!!” Emily repeated.

“We have NOT had sex!” I stopped the two of them.

“Really?” Stella’s eyes were wide.

“Really?” Emily joined the club with Stella.

“REALLY!” I exclaimed.

“Well that’s depressing…” Stella sighed.

“He can’t?” 

“EMILY!” I yelled.

“I’m sure he can… Right Sylvie? He can right?” Stella sighed.

“He…” I was cut off again.

“Or is the paralysis effecting that also?” Emily asked worriedly.

“HE CAN!” I had to yell before the conversation moved forward.

“Wow… Someone is excited!” Stella laughed.

“Oh dear…” 

“So, why are you not sleeping together?” Emily wouldn’t let the interrogation go.

“We’ve been building this up for so long and I don’t know. I guess I’m a bit weary of crossing that line… I mean he’s amazing and everything is amazing…” I babbled.

“And so are you!” Stella tried to assure me.

“You especially! Like I said, a freaking eleven!” Emily laughed.

“What are you so worried about?” Stella asked.

“I don’t know what to wear!!” I exclaimed and the lines went silent, I just saw the both of them roll their eyes. 

“You seriously called about what are you going to wear when you go eat with the guy you are basically together with already?” Emily laughed.

“Well I don’t know is this is too much or this too little or?” I panicked. “I just want it to be perfect. Everything has been so perfect up until now and I don’t want to mess it up…”

“I don’t think a dress can mess this up…” Stella laughed

“But, let’s see the options!” Emily declared “Where are you guys going, what kind of outfit are we looking for?”

“He didn’t tell the place but it’s fancy dinner so…”

“So fancy dress, got it!” Stella sipped the wine she had poured herself. They really went all out with these calls.

“Okay so…” I have this one, I turned my camera to the first option which was a rose dress with high neck and came just above the knee. 

“No!” Emily yelled.

“She’s right hun. That would be good for Mouch’s anniversary party, but this is THE date. Something more sexy.” Stella encouraged me.

“Well there is this…” I showed the next option, which was a light blue strapless satin dress with an open back. “Sexy enough?”

“Uhhh…” Emily shook her hand.

“Do you have another option?” Stella asked.

“Well… There is this one, but it’s probably too out there for the first date…” I sighed and showed the last dress. It was an off the shoulder satin black dress, which had an extremely high slit up the right leg. It had a kind of sweetheart corset that hugged my body just the right way. I had bought it many years ago thinking I’d wear it on some date but I never really had the confidence for it.

“YES!” I could hear the both of them exclaim at the same, should’ve known that a little bit of leg would spark their interest. 

“You need to wear that! You just need to!” Emily yelled.

“Omg Casey’s gonna freak when he sees you in that!” Stella laughed. “You’re gonna look smokin’ hot girl!” She did a sizzling sound.

“You don’t think it’s too much?”

“NO!” The both of them yelled again.

“Okay… I’ll think about it…” I sighed.

“No. You’re done thinking! You will wear that Sylvie Evelyn Brett!” Emily ordered from her phone.

“And those sheer high heels we bought!” Stella exclaimed.

“These?” I held them up and got a collective ‘YES’ yet again.

“And just wear your hair up, few strands loose!” Stella listed.

“And what are you going to wear under the dress?” Emily stepped in.

“EMILY!” I gasped. 

“What? I’m asking legit questions!” She defended herself.

“Underwear. I’m wearing underwear…” I sighed, please no further questions about the subject.

“Okay… I’m not asking for you to go commando but please no grannypanties…” Emily sighed.

“Emily!”

“And please do jump him…” she continued while Stella stayed quiet sipping her wine.

“Emily!”

“What! You’ve had couple of years of build up to this… It’s the least you can do! And then tell me about it!” She pointed her finger at the camera.

“For god’s sake…”

“Umm yeah you don’t need to tell me those details, he is still my boss…” Stella cringed.

“I’m not planning on sharing anything else to you than the dress I’m going to wear.” I declared. “But thank you for helping me…” 

“Every time!”

“You don’t have to thank us, fashion is my religion!” Emily laughed.

“Should’ve known. Okay I think I’ll start putting some makeup on now. Thanks girls!” I ended the call. 

This is good. Great even. But still nervous as hell. This is THE date. The one I can’t mess up. I took a big gulp of wine before standing up and heading to the shower. Shower’s great for pep talk, right? I CAN DO THIS!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to have a bit lighter chapter this time so hope you enjoy!


	12. Fallin' In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt and Sylvie have their first date.

MATT’S POV

Taking Sylvie out in my taxi wasn’t really something I planned, but it’d have to do for now. I still wanted to pick her up from her door so I got there with enough time to get the elevator up. I rolled through the corridor to her apartment knocking the door couple times. The last time I was here was the night we kissed the first time.

Soon the door opened and my god, I was not ready for what stood behind it. Sylvie looks incredible every time I see her, but this topped all my dreams. The dress she wore hugged her toned body in all the right places and revealed just the right amount of her leg. I tried to get the word out of my mouth but somehow I couldn’t find them.

“You… You look absolutely gorgeous.” I stuttered and knew my mouth was wide, but I didn’tseem tobe able to close it.

“Well thank you babe.” She smiled and gave me a kiss, the scent of her perfume lingering in the air. “You look handsome yourself.” Se adjusted my tie before turning to take her purse.

“Thank you, but I mean you look amazing. I’ve never seen anything as beautiful.” I smiled taking her hand.

“You are being silly, but still thank you, again. So where are we going?” She asked walking towards her elevator.

“You’ll see. I made a reservation at a nice restaurant.” I smirked.

“You know this is killing me. I need to know where we’re going.” Sylvie pinched me laughing.

“I know, that’s the reason I’m not telling you.” I laughed.

* * *

The restaurant was a beautiful rustic old building beside the river. The building had been a factory many years ago until it burned in a fire during my candidacy-years and they turned it into this restaurant and bar, bar being on the roof.

“We have a reservation under Casey.” I said to the man standing by the door.

“Yes, we have a table here, follow me please.” Finding a restaurant with a wheelchair-accessible table was harder than I thought. Well fancy restaurant I mean. We followed the gentleman to a beautiful wooden table by the window. The table had three candles and basically all the light in the restaurant came from hundreds of them scattered around. The old and rough brick-walls and wooden beams did justice to the old factory, but the wall to the river had been turned to windows that gave us amazing view to the water glittering in the moonlight. The factory-feel was present even when they had divided the building into smaller spaces with different types of bookshelves and plants giving us privacy. The decor was quite extraordinary but would definitely interest Sylvie. Even though the interior was amazing that wasn’t the reason I picked just this restaurant. This restaurant had different, unique entertainment every night. After placing a call to my old friend I found out that tonight it would be live-music. That would be right up Sylvie’s ally so I placed a reservation.

“Here are the menus and I’ll give you some time.” The waiter smiled and turned away.

“Matt, this is absolutely gorgeous.” Sylvie admired the space. “That view, those flowers, the ambiance. I… You’ve outdone yourself Matthew Casey.” She said and reached my hand, giving it a light squeeze.

“I’m glad you like it.” I smiled. “So, should we get a bottle of red to the table?”

“Are you trying to get me drunk captain?” She smirked.

“I know it doesn’t take half a bottle for you to get tipsy hun.” I joked.

“Red sounds wonderful Matt.” Sylvie smiled and took the menu. “I think the lamb would go great with that…”

“Yeah, I think I’ll go for the steak.” I browsed the menu. “The pizza and chinese -diet I’ve been on has to come to a stop some day.”

“You think?” Sylvie smirked and we told our orders to the waiter who quickly brought us the wine. “The view is so beautiful Matt.”

“So you said.” I laughed. She truly seemed mesmerised at everything.

“I mean it! Look at the water. It looks so amazing. Wouldn’t you just want to jump in there!” She looked out of the window with wide eyes.

“You are out of your mind babe. Besides, I’ve jumped to the river and believe me, it’s not worth it.” I laughed.

“Well… That did make a nice cover.” Sylvie smiled and stroke my arm. “And I don’t mean that I’d actually jump in there I just meant that the water looks amazing.”

“It does.” I smiled, still looking at her.

“Hey, you’re not even looking at the water.” She slapped my shoulder.

“Well… I do have something more amazing right here next to me.” I took her hand and giving it an extremely cheesy kiss.

“That’s the most sweet and cheesy thing anyone has ever said to me.” Sylvie laughed reaching to kiss me.

“I love you Sylvie.” I smiled at her.

“I love you too Matt.” She looked at me fondly. I felt like the only man in the world.

“So… Tell me about your childhood. What was teenage Sylvie Brett like?” I asked taking a sip from my wine.

“Teenage Sylvie was very rule-oriented. I was the basic ‘good-girl’, I did well in school and helped my parents at the farm. My brother was and is one of my best friends.” Sylvie explained. “I was the valedictorian, but that wasn’t extremely hard to achieve in Fowlerton.” She laughed.

“It isn’t really hard to picture you as the valedictorian, Syl. You were a cheerleader too, weren’t you?” I smirked.

“I was…” She glared me. “How did you know about that?”

“I remember your ‘CFD’-cheer.” I laughed.

“That would’ve been amazing and you know it!” She pointed at me sternly.

“You in a cheerleader uniform? I totally believe it would’ve been amazing.” I smirked and got a light smack on my shoulder. “You had those things you shuffle in your hands too?”

“Pom poms? Yeah… We had those. And if you play your cards right you might get to see me in the uniform.” She whispered to my ear.

“Oh damn…” I whistled. “I definitely want to see that.”

“Keep it in you pants captain.” She smirked.

“Fine…” I pouted and continued. “So you have a brother?”

“Yeah. My little brother Tom. He’s a constructor in Fowlerton.” Sylvie smiled. “He has one kid with his wife Anne. Want to see a picture?”

“Of course!” I exclaimed and leaned over to see her browse her photogallery before finding a photo with the whole family. “Awh, they look cute. Such a perfect, all-American family.” I winked.

“Yeah, they are pretty cute. I love my nephew dearly.” She sighed putting her phone away. “They are going to love you so much.” She looked at me with her blue eyes piercing through me, I knew how much her parent’s approval meant to her.

“You sound so sure about that.” I laughed.

“Well I am. My dad is the hard nut to crack, but I know he’ll like you.” She smiled. “My mom likes everyone if they treat me right. She was never a big fan of Harrison’s since she felt like I held myself back because of him. And I guess I did. She did like Kyle though. My dad didn’t like either of them. Nor anyone else he has met over FaceTime.”

“So what makes you so sure he’d like me? My track record isn’t really good…” I sighed.

“Because you’ll take care of me. Just make the first handshake good and you’ll be golden. Kyle failed that. My dad is quite big guy and he shook under his gaze.” Sylvie laughed. “I think the fact that you are a captain makes him like you.”

“Captain in a wheelchair.” I huffed.

“You mean, captain who sacrificed everything for a victim. Yeah, I think it makes him like you.” She smiled and stroke my arm.

“That’s good to hear.” I smiled. “How about the pigtailed little Sylvie? What were you like as a kid, Princess-fever and all?

“Oh I’m regretting telling you about the Disney-thing. We are by the way having a Disney-marathon some day.” She smiled. “I was pretty quiet child I guess. I did fall and stumble a lot at the farm, but other than that. And I have always been into working at the farm, helping dad fix the machines and all.”

“You know I’ll ask for photos when I get to know your folks.” I smirked.

“I know, but thankfully I was a very cute baby.” She flashed me a beautiful smile.

“I bet.” I couldn’t help but smile. That smile on her face was something else. I couldn’t really picture anything more perfect than that. “I really should’ve asked you to help me at my constructions, you’re perfect for the job. When I worked at Stilettos the guys were absolutely useless.”

“Well… That might be also because of the strippers.” Sylvie winked.

“It could be…” I laughed and saw the waiter approach our table with our food which smelled divine. “Well Cheers. To this lovely night and to you.” I lifted my glass.

“I’ll cheers to that. And to you.” She smiled. “Oh my god this is absolutely amazing!” She let out a light moan as we tasted our food. I needed to repeat the ‘keep it in your pants’ sentence from earlier in the evening.

“It is extremely good.” I laughed.

* * *

“Have I told you about Hallie?” I asked later that evening after taking a sip of courage.

“No. I mean I know she was your fiancee, but not really anything else.” She turned her gaze back at me.

“Well, she was amazing. I umm… I know that past girlfriends isn’t really allowed topic at first dates…” I started but was cut off.

“No. Don’t Matt. She was a big part of your life, I want to know about her. Besides, this really isn’t the normal ‘first date’” She smiled and stroke the palm of my hand with her thumb.

“Thank you Sylvie. Hallie was a resident at Lakeshore and we were together for about eight years, on and off. She was my first love. She died in march nine years ago and that was probably the worst day of my life. I know my dad dying should probably be at the top of that list, but it isn’t, she is. I usually go bit off the rails this time of the year and I just want you to know. I was also just wondering if you’d want to visit her grave with me next week.I know that that might be weird for you, but I go few times every year and well… Gabby never…”

“Matt, you’re babbling. Of course I’ll come if you want me to.” Sylvie cut me off smiling. “She sounds like an amazing woman. I’m so sorry for what happened to her.”

“Thank you. She really was.” I smiled, her compassion really does fill my heart with love every time.

“She was with you when you lost Andy, right?” Sylvie asked.

“Yeah, she was. My pilar. Me and Kelly, we fought a lot that time. Both blamed each other for that accident.” I sighed.

“I never knew that Matt.”

“It took us a while to build that trust again.” I explained. “The fire was hard. He was the first man I lost and our trio was one man short. It tore us apart.”

“I’m glad that you got that trust back.” Sylvie smiled. “It’s hard to imagine you two as something else than friends. Or brothers.”

“Oh believe me, it was touch and go at that time. It got even worse since Andy’s wife Heather blamed Kelly since Andy became a firefighter because of him and well… I remained close friends with her and their two boys Ben and Griffin.” I smiled, I should really call the three of them some day.

“Kelly can be quite a hothead.” Sylvie held my hand.

“And like things weren’t bad enough, about year after Andy died Heather got into a car-accident, DUI. She was driving drunk and her friend died on the passenger-seat. She went to jail and I was taking care of their two boys for a while.”

“You are a good man Matt Casey. That must’ve been hard.”

“It was. The whole firehouse was thankfully helping me.” I smiled. “I guess the reason why I’m telling you all of this is because I sometimes feel like I’m a bit cursed. That’s the reason why I didn’t tell you about my feelings earlier.” I explained myself. “But I need for you to know that I’m in it, for the long haul. For the rest of my life, however long it might be.”

Sylvie leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss on my lips. “Me too. And well, to be honest, I myself feel like I’m cursed too when it comes to love. I mean you’re not the only one with two engagements or well marriage in the past. But maybe we need to focus on the word ‘past’.” Sylvie smiled at me.

“I know. It was Harrison, right, the first engagement?” I asked.

“Yes… Harrison. We were high-school-sweethearts, but I guess when it actually came time to actually walk down the aisle he couldn’t do it. When he came back to get me back I was a Chicago-girl. Rest of my life in a small town working and making babies didn’t sound so appealing... He wanted me to quit when we had kids and become a stay-at-home-mom and that really didn’t sit well with me… Kyle suggested that actually also… Staying at home I mean. I’ve always been pretty active and I love what I do. I could never stop working.” She explained.

“You’ve never told me that. But just so you know, I’d never ask for you to quit your job. This is part of you and I love you for it.” I smiled.

“Thank you. You seem to always know what to say” She laughed. “I don’t want to repeat those months we didn’t talk basically at all. Communicating has always been our strong suit and I need that in my life.” She smiled.

“I know. Me too.” I nodded. “I know that we are early to this relationship, but I think we just need to do this on our own pace.”

“Yeah. I’m just gonna go out and say it. I’d really like to have the whole package. Husband, house and kids.” Sylvie smiled shyly. “But I know that you’ve had some hard times when it comes to kids.”

“Hey. I want that too. The whole package. If it’s meant to be. I’ve had a lot of bad luck when it comes to that part of my life, but if you are willing to take the gamble with kids and me, I’m all in.”

“I’ll take the bet.” She smiled. “So, two kids?”

“Yeah, I think two would be easy. I mean I have a sister and you have a brother. If you have a third one you run out of hands if you’re alone with them.” I laughed.

“That’s a good point.” Sylvie sipped her wine as the waiter came to collect our dishes.

“So, a townhouse and two kids?” I smirked.

“Sounds about right.” She laughed. “I need a walk in closet and a playhouse on the backyard for the kids.”

“I think I can make that happen. If I can’t get on my feet, I’ll get Severide help you with it.” I winked. “We’re going to have a lot of help from 51.”

“I know. I’m glad we have that crazy bunch here.” She smiled. “And you know, they are there for you too. Now, I mean.”

“I know. I don’t just don’t want the fuzz around me quite yet.” I sighed tapping her hand.

“Yeah. You know you’ll have to see them this Friday at Molly’s.”

“I know, I know. And for Stella, I’ll roll my way to the dragon’s den. I mean, it can’t be anything more horrible than therapy, right?”

“I’m glad that you think therapy is worse than house fires and all?” She laughed.

“Well, if anyone doesn’t die, therapy is worse.” I smirked before I heard a voice from behind.

“Matthew Casey. As I live and breath. It’s good to see you here.” I turned around and saw a man in a grey suit approach the table. I needed a minute to connect the dots before realising that it was the owner of the building.

“Hi Scott. It’s been long. Is the building still yours?” I asked shaking his hand.

“Yes, I actually made it into this restaurant believe it or not.” He smiled. “Oh, I’m sorry I totally interrupted you two. I’m Andrew Scott.” He spun his head towards Sylvie.

“Oh, I’m Sylvie Brett.” She smiled and shook his hand. “This restaurant is absolutely amazing.”

“Oh that is very sweet. Matt actually did some construction here after the fire.” He explained. “I had to stop all the business here because of it and this one came into my help. Wouldn’t be here without him. He’s something special, don’t let him go…”

“Okay, okay. I think she gets the point Andrew.” I had to cut him off laughing.

“I don’t plan on letting him go.” Sylvie smirked stroking my arm with hers.

“Good. Sam and El are going on soon. I’ll send you some dessert on the house.” He smiled. “Have a lovely evening.”

“We will. Thank you.” I shook his hand again before he turned away.

“Always have to go the extra mile helping people?” Sylvie laughed. “And Sam and El?”

“Always. And I believe you are about to see.” I smiled and pointed to the little stage that was in the middle of the restaurant.

“Is there going to be music?” Sylvie looked just as excited as I hoped she would be and just as I was about to answer El started to play the piano whilst Sam took the microphone starting to sing the first verse to Sam Smith’s Stay With Me. “Oh my god, there is. This is amazing Matt!” She beamed staring at the singers.

“I’m glad you like it. You know, they do take people up there to sing.” I winked at her. “I asked when I called.”

“Oh don’t you dare Matt Casey.” She pointed at me, but the waiter came with our desserts, which were three different small cakes with beautiful flowers around. “This date just keeps on getting better and better.” She smiled taking a bite of her cake.

**SYLVIE’S POV**

“So, disney-marathon?” Matt smirked.

“Yes. Of course.” I looked at him sternly.

“Which movie was your favourite?” Matt asked.

“Umm… That’s sooo hard. Mulan I think. I mean I loved all of them but she was such a badass.” I laughed. “Yours? And don’t say that you’ve not watched Disney-movies!”

“I have watched them. And Mulan seems very fitting to this whole badass-PIC-thing that you have going on.” Matt winked.

“You didn’t answer my question Matt.” I pointed at him with my fork.

“Umm… Okay. I guess the Lon King is pretty much up there. I saw the new version and it was amazing. I still can’t believe that they can do that with technology.” Matt rambled on.

“It is amazing!” I exclaimed. “And you do realise how old the technology-talk made you seem?”

“Shush… I’m not that old.”

“If you read the news from normal paper, you are old.” I laughed. “My old man…” I teased a little bit more.

“You are ruthless Sylvie Brett… You make me feel like such a perv sitting here with someone like you.” Matt laughed.

“I love my man, even as ancient as you are.” I gave him a small kiss and he brought his hand to my neck.

“So like I was saying before. You really should go up there and sing. You have an amazing voice.” Matt looked at me.

“You don’t even know my singing-voice.” I laughed.

“I do. You sung at that wedding in the firehouse. And you were amazing.”

“Hah, no I really am not anything special…”

“Don’t try to do that. You are special, Brett. Admit that you actually want to do this.”

“Okay, yes. I’d love to sing, but not in front of all these people.” I admitted.

“Well, you just have to imagine that it’s just me here.” He smirked and waved the singer who walked over with another microphone. “Take the jump Brett.”

“Fine.” I pouted and took the mic. I could never do anything like this. I mean staring down the barrel of a gun is easier than standing here in front of all these people, somehow Matt’s gaze helped me get rid of this nervousness, or maybe more like panic. I walked slowly behind the woman.

“Falling Like The Stars, sound good for you?” She asked taking her place at the piano.

“Yeah, let’s do this. I can do this.” I answered more to myself than her. And so the man, presumably Sam, started to play the guitar. Thankfully everyone was still eating and drinking like normal so there was really just one man looking at me, and I focused on him getting a quick wink back.

_“I swear to God, when I come home…”_

I started to sing and saw his smile grow and reach his eyes revealing the wrinkles from years worth of smiling. One of his best features. My confidence boosted at once and I increased the volume a little starting the chorus with piano joining me.

_“And I need you to know that we're fallin' so fast._

_"We're fallin' like the stars, fallin' in love.”_

I didn’t pick the song, but somehow it fitted right in. I couldn’t get my eyes off of Matt. The guitar-player stood up and started to make his way around the room and slowly I made my way towards Matt.

“ _I swear to God, I can see. Four kids and no sleep…_ ” 

I winked at Matt on my way. Finally arriving to our table, I walked behind him laying my hand on his shoulders. Slowly I turned to face him as the chorus started. The scent of his cologne floated in the air. He took my hand giving it a little kiss before I started the bridge.

“Oh, I’m in love…”

I looked at his piercing blue eyes and somehow I didn’t remember that we were in a restaurant full of people. It felt like we were at home, just the two of us. Somehow being with him made me always feel like that. Like the only woman and the only person in the world.

_“And I need you to know that we're fallin' so fast_

_We're fallin' like the stars, fallin' in love_

_And I'm not scared to say those words with you, I'm safe_

_We're fallin' like the stars, we're fallin' in love”_

I sang the last chorus just for him and bend down to kiss him. After our lips parted I heard the calm applause and could feel my cheeks redden.

“Own it, Brett.” Matt winked at me and I stood up giving everyone a gentle bow. The feeling came to a sudden stop when I looked to my right. “Are those…?” I spotted a croup laughing walking out of the bar little way from our table. The croup being Ritter with his boyfriend and Gallo with Mackey. I turned around to look at Matt, whose eyes were wide, but I think our young firemen and paramedic had already spotted us.

“Brett?” Mackey’s eyes were wide and she let go of Gallo's hand. The croup walked to us awkwardly as I spun around and handed the mic to Sam.

“Captain?” Gallo looked at Matt.

“Hi, umm… You sang beautifully Brett.” Ritter sighed in the background, clearly extremely uncomfortable.

“Thank you.” I mumbled with my face crimson red.

“Are you two…” Mackey pointed a finger between Matt and me.

“Not a word.” Matt pointed at the three of them, Ritter’s boyfriend already out of the restaurant. Can’t blame the kid to be honest, Matt’s voice was stern like the captain-voice he used when reprimanding Gallo. Damn our kids will have hard time with their dates.

“Yeah of course.” Mackey muttered.

“No problem cap.” Gallo stood straight up and turned around bumping to Ritter who stuttered.

“Nice to see you”

And off they went. At least we knew they wouldn’t tell anyone.

“Well that was awkward” Matt laughed.

“You scared them half to death.” I laughed, “they’ll need therapy” 

“Well, I know a good therapist.” Matt smirked and took my hand. “But they were right. You sung beautifully. I think I fell in love with you a little bit more. And I didn’t think that could happen.”

“You are crazy” I laughed. “But seriously thank you. I would’ve never sung if it weren’t for you.”

“You just needed a little push.”

“This evening has been amazing, and then some, Matt.” I said smiling from ear to ear.

“I’m glad you’ve liked it as much as I have.”He laughed waving to the waiter to get a check.

“So… Should we head to my place this night?” I smirked at him, butterflies in my stomach.

“I’d love to.” Matt smiled gently.

* * *

Slowly I turned my key in the lock. Somehow I still got that nervous energy with him and I took my time at the door. Inside our relationship would eventually cross that one line after which there was no coming back to the friend zone.

“Syl. Are you okay?” Matt whispered from behind me. Leave it to him to notice these small things.

“Yeah, my nerves just got the best of me.” I admitted.

“Hey, we don’t need to go any bit faster than what you are comfortable with.” He smiled taking my hand.

“I know.” I smiled, stepped into my apartment and took Matt’s jacket off and placed it to the bench next to my door.

“Come here.” Matt pulled me closer and I sat on his lap. He brought his hands around me. “You sung beautifully tonight Sylvie. And you knew the song so easily. You sing a lot?”

“Well alone. My shower really likes James Arthur.” I laughed bringing my arms on top of his whilst he kissed my neck.

“Well, it was beautiful.” I could feel him smiling as he placed more kisses on my neck. I didn’t even really notice that I started to hum the melody to Adele’s Make You Feel My Love. He took his hands away from me, but didn’t part his lips from my skin. Slowly he started to move his wheelchair around the room like we were dancing in my living room.For over three minutes we just swayed around and I sang quietly. As the song was coming to an end I stood up turning to my bedroom. At the door I turned to look at Matt, who was rolling his way behind me. As I bent down to take of my heels he positioned himself to my bed. When I turned to face him, he was sitting on the edge of my bed, reaching his right hand towards me. I stepped out of my heels and walked to him. I stood in front of him, positioning myself between his legs. Slowly I set my hands to his neck pressing a gentle kiss on his lips.

“I love you Sylvie Brett.” Matt smiled placing his hands on my waist, pulling me closer.

“I love you too, Matt Casey.” I couldn’t help but smile widely.

Gently he pressed his lips against mine and lifted his hand behind my neck, pulling me closer as his lips parted to let my tongue slip in. A small sigh escaped from me and I moved my hands to take off his tie and slowly I started to unbutton his shirt. At the same time his hands sneaked to the zipper behind my back. Gently he pulled the dress open and I let go off him so the black satin could pool at my feet. As per Emily’s request I had opted for less conservative, lacy, underwear and I could see the amazement on Matt’s face.

“I umm… You look. Even more amazing. If that is possible.” He stuttered running his hands over my back. I brought my hands back to his chest unbuttoning the rest of his shirt, pulling it then off and moving my hands to his belt, taking it off slowly. I placed my hand on his chest and the kisses grew hungrier and more urgent by the second. His hands roamed from my hair to my neck and the small of my back. Slowly the rough kisses spurred me to lift myself to straddle him.

The kissing became more and more frantic and I moved my hips slowly in his lap. His lips made their way down my neck to my collarbone and his hands to my front, my pulse quickened and I saw stars.

“Captain…” I let out a small whimper. “I need you…”

Quickly he spun me around, taking a hold of my ass and throwing me on the bed before turning himself on top of me. With minimal movement in his legs I’m amazed he was able to do that, but couldn’t seem to care since slowly he brought his lips to mine. I moved my hands around his back but slowly he started to move his lips down my body. As they arrived to the lace of my bra my mind went blank. This evening had topped my wildest dreams and this part was no different. Years of friendship and months and months of yearning, love and lust came to the peak. Right here, and yet again, I felt like the only woman in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay. My Econ-professor decided that we actually need to work this period. (Who would've known, right?)  
> But hopefully you liked this!


	13. Vanilla Thunder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvie helps a familiar face on shift.

**MATT’S POV**

Slowly I opened my eyes, the sunlight was flooding Sylvie’s bedroom. I looked down and on my chest I saw Sylvie’s blond hair and porcelain skin. She was breathing calmly and a huge smile crept on my face. Last night had been amazing, best night of my life dare I say. It was unique how easy the evening was, there was no nervousness after I saw her, it all just fit like a puzzle. And the night was the same, it felt easy, like I could read her mind and she mine. The whole night was mind-blowing and I knew I couldn’t go a day without her by my side. I brought my lips to the crown of her head and gave her a small, gentle kiss and closed my eyes for a minute. Could I stay here forever? After a while I made myself glance to my right, spotting her alarm-clock which showed that it was half past seven in the morning. It took me a second to actually figure out that it was in fact Monday, which meant only one thing.

“Sylvie” I said calmly, stroking her arm and slowly she lifted her head from my chest. “You have work soon. I guess we forgot to set your alarm yesterday.” I smiled at her sleepy face. Her hair was messy and she opened only one eye.

“Oh damn!” She shot up. “Well that’s what we get from you distracting me all night…”

“Sorry babe. You didn’t seem to care then.” I winked her.

“Oh shush…” She laughed and gave me a quick kiss. “Yesterday was absolutely amazing. And that night…”

“That night was wonderful thanks to you.” I finished her sentence.

“Yes. Wonderful.” She smiled. “Okay, I really have to put on some clothes if I don’t want to be late from work.”

“Or just call in sick.” I pulled her back to me closing the distance between our lips. Slowly I crept my hands to the small of her back pulling her against me. She moved her hands to my neck before lifting her head back up.

“Or I can go to work and we can continue this after my shift. You have physio and therapy soon too.” Sylvie smiled. “I really have to go. Can you lock up after or do you need help here?” She pulled a red sweater quickly over her head.

“I can manage. Tell everyone I said hey.” I laughed. “Or maybe don’t… I think that’d make things a tiny bit too obvious.”

“Like me singing a damn ballad to you in the middle of the restaurant?” She winked at me putting on some shoes.

“Well that was plain amazing babe. Give me a kiss before you go.” I smiled. “Text me from work so I stay sane. And be safe. Avoid guns and evil brothers. And drive safely.”

“Yes, yes. I’ll be nice babe.” She laughed running out. “Love you!”

“Love you too!” I yelled and after I heard the door close I started to put on my clothes so I’d get to the hospital before nine.

* * *

As I was heading out of the apartment I heard a muffled noice from my jacket pocket. I looked at the screen and saw a surprising name... Surprising in a pretty negative way...

“Grissom. What’s up?”

“Hi Casey. How’s rehab going?” I could hear him ask from the other side.

“Uhh… It’s going well. As well as you can hope at this point.” I explained. “What is going on commissioner. You’re not suing someone this time?” My voice was dry, but couldn’t seem to care after what went down last week.

“I’m calling because we have been trying to figure out what to do with your career at the CFD.”

“Umm. Okay.” What is going on… I thought that my career was pretty much over.

“If you are wiling, we’d like for you to move to academy. To teach.” He explained. “You have the experience and knowledge for that. As a captain you would’ve never had time for this but we can make this work around your physio. If you can’t return to your post as captain of truck 81, you can at least keep your rank and stay in CFD.”

“I umm… I have to think about this. It sounds good but I’m not sure yet.” I scratched my neck, didn’t expect this kind of phone call this morning.

“Think about it and call me, but I need to know this week.” Grissom answered.

“Okay. I’ll let you know then. Is there anything else I can do you for?” I sighed.

“Not at this moment, no. Just take care of yourself.”

“Okay, thanks commissioner. Bye.” I ended the call. I need to talk about this with Sylvie, but now I need to get to the hospital.

***

I got to the hospital with plenty of time before my physio which had been going well after I started to see Sylvie. Probably because since being with her I didn’t pressure myself. 51 had been my whole life but now that I had something else to look forward to I could do everything at my own pace. And Grissom’s call had given me some hope for my professional life the first time since the accident. At physio I was able to some exercises with my legs. Before we had focused in moving my toes but now added some calf-exercises.

After the physio I headed to dr. Charles.

“So, how have you been?” He asked when I got to his office.

“I’ve been good, everything is pretty good actually. Things are going well with Sylvie, I’ve been talking with Severide and we’re back to normal and I got a job offer this morning.” I revised. “Physio is also going well and there is a pretty good chance that I’m going to be able to walk some day.”

“That is so good to hear. What’s the job, may I ask?” Dr. Charles asked while writing in his notepad.

“It’s a teaching-job at academy.”

“Well that sounds like a good opportunity. Do you think you’ll accept the position?”

“Yeah, I think so. I mean I want to talk to Sylvie about it and get her opinion but I think I need something to do. Hanging out at my apartment feels really boring to be honest.” I sighed.

“I’m proud of you, for talking with Sylvie. It’s a good start for your relationship. Assuming that it is official since your date yesterday.” He smirked. I forgot I had told him about it yesterday before the actual date.

“Yes. It went well.” I couldn’t help but smile.

“That is good to hear, Matt. I think we can cut down the therapy sessions so you don’t have to come here every day. Maybe every Thursday?” He asked. “You are doing good and we can keep up the daily sessions if you'd like but if you start work I think once or twice a week is sufficient?”

“Yes! It is. I mean this has been swell, but I’m doing much better.” I laughed.

“I can tell. And I am always one call away.” He smiled.

“I know.”

“So. Let’s get started. I think it’s time to talk about Hallie since Saturday marks eight years since her death. You mentioned that this time of the year is always hard.” Dr. Charles said.

“Yeah… It is. We talked about it with Sylvie and she offered to come with me to the graveyard.” I smiled. "Thankfully my memories with Hallie are very positive and if you don’t count her death I have no regrets. It’s still a sore subject but more wistful I think."

“So how was your relationship?” He asked taking some notes.

“One of our first dates was a Devils-Blackhawks-game. She told me she knew what icing was, I knew I had a keeper." I laughed. "I mean of course we had our differences, main one being that she didn't want kids, but eight years is a long time. She was my first love and she’ll always have a special place in my heart. She was a pill of sunshine, always helping others. I put her through the ringer back then when I decided to report Voight being a dirty cop nine years ago… It's a long story, but she had tough time because of him, he tried to frame us for drug-possession. She went through it all with me with no word against. She was amazing, one of the best people I’ve ever met. I’m just glad I got to be with her for the ride…” I smiled wistfully.

“That is nice to hear. I’m sad I never got to meet her.” He said. "The death has effected you understandably so, let's talk about that."

And so I started the story. It included the fire and the police-chase, lots of Antonio and Voight and the memorial at Molly’s. The story was in part me almost crying about the death and part me chuckling about some good times we had. Sometimes the horrible death just overrides her life in my head.

**SYLVIE’S POV**

I ran from my car to 51. I wasn’t late per say, but I hadn’t changed my clothes so I ran to the locker room pretty quickly and pumped to the chief at the door.

“A little late Brett?” Boden asked rising one eyebrow.

“I’m sorry chief. Won’t happen again.” I mumbled apologising.

“I know. Is everything okay?” He asked worriedly.”Morning briefing is about to start…”

“Yes, very good. I’ll get going, I’ll be right there!” I said running to change and a smile spread to my face as soon as I turned my face away from his.

Soon enough I made my way to the room filled with firefighters who all turned to look at me. I avoided everyones eyes and walked to my seat next to Mackey. Once I sat Boden started the brief and everyone focused back to him. Brief didn't take long, we didn't have anything out of the ordinary planned. 

“Does anyone know how Casey is doing? He hasn't contacted me...” Herrmann asked as Boden finished talking. I could feel my cheeks redden and Mackey glanced at me knowingly. I focused on the wall in front of me and thankfully Severide saved me yet again.

“Yeah, he’s home and feeling good. He’s still in a wheelchair, but in good spirits.” He explained and I knew his staring burned a hole in the back of my head.

“That’s good.” Mouch smiled. “He should’ve come to Molly’s yesterday.”

“Yeah, I think he was busy yesterday, but I’ll tell him to stop by some day.” Kidd laughed.

“Good. Tell him that we're here for him.” Herrmann patted her back as he walked out of the room and everyone else followed.

"I will." Kidd smiled as we all walked to get coffee and breakfast.

“So, how did the date go yesterday?” Kidd pulled me to Matt’s quarters as I was walking to the kitchen. “Casey didn’t come home last night and you were late today!”

“It was nice.” I smiled. “Okay, it was absolutely perfect. The whole evening was amazing.”

“NICE! So, what did you do?” She grinned as we sat on the bed.

“We went to this nice intimate restaurant near the river. It was super romantic and beautiful. We ate amazing food and I sung and then we went to my place…” I smiled and I felt rose blush rise to my cheeks.

“Okay, I have so many questions. First; You sung?” She looked at me rising one brow.

“Yeah… There was live music and Matt encouraged me to sing… So I did.” My smile was from ear to ear now.

“Wow. I never would’ve thought that you’d sing in a restaurant full of people?” I could see her amazement.

“I can’t either… But it was amazing. I’m happy I did it. But I’m not happy that our three candidates saw me sing… Or heard me, I’m not sure. They were at the bar, but they spotted us…” I sighed and Stella just laughed. “It’s not funny. I could sing because I knew that only Matt knew me. But they heard me!”

“It’s fine Sylvie… I mean you have a beautiful voice!” She laughed. “Just weird that they didn't say anything about it..."

"Well I was with Matt... He can be pretty intimidating if need be." I smirked.

"Oh... I see..." Stella laughed. "So what happened at your place?”

“Well…” I smirked and I could feel my cheeks redden more and more at the thought.

“I see… It was good?” Stella laughed and winked me.

“Yes. It was perfect. I mean it was gentle and sweet and amazing and… Just the best night of my life.” I gloated a little. “Worth the wait…”

“I’m so happy for you! And Em is so happy that you jumped him.” Stella laughed.

“Yeah…” I smiled. “I’m happy for myself too.”

“The dress was a hit?”

“Yes it was. He liked it.” I chuckled.

The conversation came to a stop when the bells started to ring.

_Ambulance 61, Squad 3. Sinkhole rescue. 356 Franklin Street._

I groaned leaving Stella behind and headed to the ambo. The sinkhole wasn’t big, size of one car and there was just one person thankfully. Easier rescue than what I had imagined.

“Oh god… Not again…” I could hear a woman’s voice from the sinkhole when I ran to the accident site behind Severide.

“Hi, my name is Kelly and we’re gonna get you…” He started but then stopped and laughed. “Oh hi there!”

“Hi… Two times in just few months. This must be some record right?” I could hear a woman laugh from the pit.

“I think it might. How did you get there?” Kelly laughed and looked at the sinkhole.

“Well you know, the ground just decided to swallow me whole… Maybe it could again…” The woman voiced from down below.

“Hah. Tony, get the rope-bag! You okay? Hit your head?”

“No. I’m fine. Some scratches, but nothing else. So, no Matt this time?” The woman asked and I stepped a tiny bit closer getting few glances from the crew.

“He was actually in an accident, so he’s not doing this anymore, but I can tell her you said hi.” Severide answered.

“Yeah, tell greetings from Vanilla thunder.” The woman laughed and I started to connect the dots.

“Okay, I’ll throw you these ropes. Can you step into the harness?”

“Yeah I can.” She answered.

“Ready?” Severide asked the woman who answered affirmatively. “Okay. Take a hold of the ropes and we’ll pull you up. Cruz with me. Capp, Tony stay few feet back, we don’t know how stable the ground is here. On my mark. Pull!” Severide instructed his men who did exactly as told and a minute later the woman was on the ground and the guys were taking the harness off.

“Thanks.” She patted Severide on the back.

“Yeah of course. Go to our medics, they’ll give you the all clear, let’s be sure that you are in fact okay.” And so she turned towards me. Squad started to isolate the area with tape. 

“Hi again, I’ll check you out here.” I smiled.

“Sylvie right?” She asked.

“Yes, good memory. Look at the light.”I instructed.

“So I heard something happened to Matt?” She asked.

“Yeah… He had an accident, a beam dropped and he was under it. He’s in a wheelchair now.” I explained quickly. I knew that we were together and they went on just one date, but somehow it was still weird to work on her.

“Ouch… That’s awful.” She sighed pausing for a while.

"Yeah..." I mumbled trying to avoid her eyes.

She then turned to face me rising one eyebrow. “He told you about his feelings?” She asked and a smirk crept on her face.

“I umm…” I didn’t really know what to say and I just shook my head in disbelief.

“Sorry, I’m just curious. I knew he was in love with you back then. That’s why he stopped seeing me.” She laughed and I raised my eyebrows.“It was pretty hard not to notice. So?”

“Uhh… Yeah we’ve talked.” I smiled but lowered my voice since the Cruz was walking by.

“It’s good to hear.” She smiled and made me chuckle. I spent a lot of my time being sad about her in the beginning of the year, but to be honest, she seems absolutely delightful. 

“Well. It seems that you are all good. No sign of concussion and these cuts are just superficial.” I smiled.

“Thank god. I couldn’t handle having to go to hospital again…” She laughed. “Thank you Sylvie.”

“That’s what we do.” I smiled. Damn Chicago was a small place… 

Once I got to the firehouse I decided to update Matt like promised and sent him a quick text.

_Vanilla Thunder wanted me to tell you hi. Found her in a sinkhole. She’s fine, asked if you had told me about your feelings actually.😉 How was therapy? xx Sylvie_

_What?? That’s unfortunate…hah… You told her about us? Therapy was nice. We talked about Hallie. xx Matt_

_Yeah, I mentioned.😇 How was it? Talking about Hallie I mean. Are you okay?_

_I’m good. Very good actually. Just missing you. And bored out of my mind so please come back…_

_I will… I miss you too. 51 isn’t the same without you babe. ☹️_

_Feeling is mutual. By the way Grissom called, they want me to teach at the academy... What do you think?_

_That's amazing! Is it something you'd like to do?_

_Well yeah... I mean it is something and I don't feel like wasting too many days at home alone..._

_I think you should do it. Only if you want to, I mean._

_I think I will. I'll let him know. Stay safe out there, I love you._

_I will and I love you too. ❤️_

I could feel myself smile from ear to ear as I walked down the corridor to our bunks and passed Cruz on my way.

“You seem smily Brett.” He observed stopping me on my tracks.

“Should I be sad?” I shot back laughing.

“You just have been sad for a while so… It’s nice to see you like this. So super happy.” He smiled.

“I am Cruz. I’m very happy.” I smiled and passed him. I was in fact extremely happy, happier than I’ve ever been I think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, this was a kind of filler chapter. Hope you still liked it! Positive feedback is appreciated.


	14. Stella's Golden Hammer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stella's celebration at Molly's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I decided that we get enough Covid-19 from the news and I wanted this to be somewhat normal. So. Here you have a night without safety-distances and hand sanitisers.

**MATT’S POV**

The week went by in a flash and soon it was Friday and that meant the Lieutenant’s physical exam and like we all knew, Kidd aced it. The written exam had been couple days earlier and that was piece of cake for her, but that meant only one thing. A celebration at Molly’s. I hadn’t seen anyone, but Severide, Kidd and Sylvie in week and a half and didn’t really want a fuss around me. And I knew that Molly’s would be filled with firefighters, doctors from med and police-officers from 21. I sighed. I was her superior and whilst I knew that she wouldn’t mind me staying at home I knew I’d regret not going. And so I decided to suck it up and sacrifice myself to the fussing around.

“You ready Matt?” Sylvie’s question woke me up from my thoughts as she peeked from the bathroom putting her earrings on. She had her hair up like on our date, but her outfit was casual just like mine.

“Uhh yeah…” I shook my head to focus up running my hand over my jaw.

“Are you okay?” She walked closer sitting on my lap. Her eyebrows were burrowed and as she placed her hand on my cheek.

“Yeah. It’s just the first time I meet them after the accident.” I sighed and smiled a little to her.

“I know. It’ll be fine. Plus this is Stella’s night so everyone will focus on her.” She gave me a kiss. "Right?"

“Yeah… Okay. Let’s go so we’ll be there before she and Severide get there.” I smiled and Sylvie stood up heading towards the door. It’ll be fine…

***

Now I could feel my pulse quicken as I got out of the cab. Me and Sylvie decided to keep our relationship on the down low before I was able to visit the firehouse, plus we wanted to keep this night about Stella’s accomplishment and so Sylvie went inside before me. So there I was. Sitting in my wheelchair on the sidewalk. I could see Molly’s and the ramp Kelly and the boys had built so I’d be able to go also. I took a deep breath before starting to roll to the building. Outside I ran into Will, Maggie and her husband Ben.

“Hi Matt! How have you been?” Maggie asked as I shook hands with everybody.

“Good. Getting used to this thing.” I tried to laugh. It felt a bit forced and I really hoped to avoid these types of conversations. “But. This is Kidd’s night.” I smiled.

“Hell yeah! Let’s get inside.” Will laughed and helped push my chair up the ramp as Ben kept the door open. I took one last breath before crossing the threshold to Molly’s which was packed full of people. My eyes found Sylvie’s quickly and she nodded me. Even that little interaction helped to boost my mood quickly.

“Hey, good to see you captain.” Mouch came first to pat my back and quickly everyone else followed.

“You too Mouch, but it’s just Matt now.” I smiled. It was full fifteen minutes of shaking hands, hugging people and assuring everyone that I was in fact okay. Slowly I made my way to Sylvie who was sitting in one of the few new round tables which I’m guessing were brought there just so I didn’t have to be the only one on lower level.

“Good to see you Casey.” She winked me.

“Oh you too Brett. Long time no see.” I laughed.

“Truly long time.” She pumped her shoulder against mine. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“Umm… I’ll just take a beer.” I smiled.

“Coming right up.” She stood up and headed to the bar. After she left Cruz and Chloe arrived to the table, Chloe being seemingly pregnant already.

“Hi Matt. How have you been?” She asked sitting on the chair next to Joe.

“Uh. Good. Better every day.” I answered.

“You gave us quite the scare man…” Cruz sighed patting my back like half the people that night.

“I know… Won’t happen again.” I laughed a bit forced again, but decided to change the subject as quickly as possible. “So, how’s the pregnancy going Chloe?”

“It’s amazing now that I’m done with the first couple of months.” She laughed holding her hand over her belly. 

“This one is a champ. She’s been so though.” Cruz smiled and gave his wife a kiss, holding his hand on her cheek. I couldn't help but wonder if we'd be in that situation some day.

“You guys are so cute!” Sylvie exclaimed as she sat on my other side handing me my beer.

“Thanks Brett.” I smiled taking it in my hand and looked at her bright smile that charmed me every day. “How about you Joe. Getting the dad-mode kick in?” I turned to Cruz.

“Uhm yeah. Getting both excited and scared…” He chuckled awkwardly.

“You’ll be great!” I patted his back and lifted my beer to cheers him. “I just feel bad for the little one when he/she starts to date… Their dates will shit themselves when you start to interrogate.”

“True! I mean Gallo shat himself with Mackey and he isn’t scared of pretty much anything.” Sylvie laughed.

“I can be a bit protective.” He sighed before Chloe interrupted him

“A little? I remember the stories you’ve told about that Antonio-guy…” She laughed. “Kind of your nature babe.”

“Well he was bad news, I think we can all agree on that.” Cruz lifts his hands up looking at me.

“I’m not saying anything.” I laugh taking a sip of my beer.

“Should we maybe talk about something else than my past dates?” Sylvie asks.

“Oh I think it’s a very good subject. How about you captain?” Chloe smirked. I’m not sure if we are too transparent or if Sylvie has told her something. Either way, she knows. Thankfully Hailey and Jay from Intelligence come to the table with beers.

“Good to see you Matt.” Jay walked to me patting my shoulder.

“You too.” I smiled as he sat between myself and Hailey.

“So, how have you been? We haven’t seen you here in a while.” He asks taking a sip of his beer.

“I had to take some time. Still getting used to this all. Everything changing.” I smile weakly.

“I can only imagine…” Hailey sighs. “I’ve heard it was a rough call.”

“Pretty normal actually, just one of those freak things.” I try to brush it off.

“Gave us a scare though.” Sylvie chimed in.

“Sorry about that…” I turn to her smiling sombrely as she looks deep in to my eyes.

“We’re used to it by now.” Cruz sighs from the opposite side of the table. “I don’t even know how many times we’ve been in a hospital because of you…”

“I don’t think it’s really too many. Maybe just like three times since being on truck 81 and once as a candidate. That factory fire, that house fire on Quincy and this one. And well that one time with the whole Voight-thing, but that wasn't on a call…”

“Well usually you don’t let me bring you to the hospital so I can get you there only if you are unconscious.” Sylvie smirks.

“Well if I can walk, I don’t clearly need hospital.” I laugh in response pointing my beer at her.

“See what I need to deal with every day?” Sylvie looks at the others.

“Wait, what was the Voight thing?” Hailey asks me and I sigh looking at Cruz, who is the only one who actually knows the whole story.

“This was about nine years ago, so it has been a while and I’m in good terms with him nowadays, we just have a dark history before he went to jail.” I explain.

“Wait, what?” Chloe looks us with wide eyes. “He was in jail?”

“Yeah… And he didn’t like the fact that I put him there so couple of guys beat me up.” I sigh. “But again, ancient history.” I try to brush it off.

“I’m sorry… Beat you??” Sylvie looks at me. I hadn’t told you the whole story yet and whilst she knew that we had a complicated past, the beating was something that didn’t come up very often.

“Yeah… We’re fine now though. He did his time.” I smile taking a pull of my beer.

“Uh… Why didn’t I know this?” Hailey asks but thankfully my phone buzzes on the table giving me an out of this conversation.

“Hey everybody! Kelly just texted me, they’ll be here any minute now!” I yelled and everyone silenced and turned to the door. Soon enough it opened and behind it we saw a very surprised future lieutenant Stella Kidd.

“Surprise!” The whole room yelled and a huge smile filled her face. I could see how proud Severide was next to his girlfriend.

“Oh my god!” She laughed. “Thanks you guys! You didn’t have to.”

“Of course we did!” Foster exclaimed as she and Sylvie attacked Stella with extremely aggressive hug.

“Thanks girls. You’re the best.” She kissed their cheeks.

“Congratulations Kidd” Boden smiles walking to her and giving her a big bear hug.

“Thanks chief.”

“Speech!” Mouch yelled from the barstool and Missy, Truck’s newest addition, handed her her new drink - The Golden Hammer.

“Okay… Where to start. I’m so extremely grateful that I have people like you guys rooting me forward and you’ve all thought me so much. I mean from the veteran firefighters like Herrmann and Mouch to younger generation like Ritter and Gallo, I’ve learned a lot. And I’ve learned so much more than just the fighting fires or climbing the latter. I’ve learned the ways of 51 and the family. You’ve thought me lessons about life and I can honestly say that I’ve become a better person because of you guys.” She smiles, her eyes roaming around the room.

“I want to especially thank our chief, Boden. Your belief in me has motivated me all these years and without you I would’ve never taken the lieutenants exam. So thank you. I’ll be eternally grateful.” She smiles lifting her glass at Boden.

“Also, my sweet Kelly. You are one in a million. Even when I was about to give up I always knew you’d have my back, you kept me going all this time. Thank you babe.” She kissed Kelly quickly before turning to me.

“But there is still one more person I want to thank. My Captain, Casey.”Stella looked at me and I could feel some tears form in my eyes, I gave her a small smile as she continued. “I came to 51 some years back and I’ve had some amazing role models here. Still, you stand out. And it isn’t because you stop bombings or jump off moving firetrucks.” She winked at me and few people chuckled, most knew nothing about what had happened and thankfully nobody seemed to care. “It is because you don’t make fuss about yourself when you do these things. You’ve taught me what it is to be a true leader, to take charge, take responsibility and give your everything with every call we’re on. I have always looked up to your leadership skills and the way you guide every scene we’re on.”

“We all know how much you’ve endured and how you give your all to the wonderful people of Chicago, but I don’t think you actually realise how much you mean to me and to us all at 51. You have really been my inspiration through this whole process. You’ve taught me so much and I couldn’t be more grateful for your guidance, you've made me the kick-ass firefighter I am today.” She lifted her glass. “Thank you captain.”

I could feel my heart beat as every pair of eyes turned to me and everyone lifted their glasses taking a sip of their drinks.

“Wow. Uhh… I don’t know what to say. Thank you Kidd. You know I’m not your superior anymore, you don’t need to say all these things.” I laughed taking a deep breath. I wasn’t expecting these kind of emotions from tonight. “I’m not one for speeches. You are one in a million Stella Kidd. I’ve learned so much from you through these years you’ve worked with us and through our friendship.” I glanced at Boden who nodded that I could say the next sentence. “That is why I’m more sure than ever that Truck 81 will be in good hands with you. Congratulations, Lieutenant Stella Kidd.” I smirked as I followed her try to come to terms with my speech.

“You mean?” She stuttered taking few steps to my direction. Everyone else remained quiet glancing at me and Boden since this was our plan and not even Sylvie or Severide was aware of it.

“I mean that you’ll be the next lieutenant on truck 81.” I smiled and in a second she leaped across the room and hugged me whilst the whole room erupted in applause, everyone patting each others backs and whistling. Sylvie’s hugged us both, Kelly’s eyes were wide and he could’ve watched flies with his mouth.

“Thank you! I won’t disappoint you!” She beamed standing up.

“I know you won’t.” I shook her hand. “I’m really proud of you Kidd.”

“Thank you. It really means a lot.” She smiled before spinning around jumping into Kelly’s arms.

“Well. I think this calls for a celebration!” Herrmann yells. “Stella's Golden hammers are 15% off tonight!” This too caused a loud whistling and glasses clinging. Next to us, Stella and Kelly shared an extremely passionate kiss that caused even more whistling from others, cringing from me and Sylvie.

“Get a room you two!” Sylvie yelled next to me and the two finally break apart.

“Shush!” Stella laughed waving her hand at us reaching to Severide again causing me to turn to Sylvie.

“I’ll need another Golden hammer to forget that.” She whispered to me.

“Oh believe me, their sessions on our couch have made had me reach for beer more times than I can count.” I laughed.

“Uh, don’t elaborate please.” She laughed patting my knee. “I’ll get us both new drinks.” She whispered before disappearing to the sea of people.

“So, you too are finally together?” Jay asked leaning little bit closer.

“Uhh… Who?” I asked, taken bit back by his forwardness.

“Don’t play dumb Casey.” He laughed taking a pull of his bear.

“Okay. Yes we are. But we’re not ‘public’ yet.” I whispered. “We want to wait for a while and this night is all about Stella.”

“Hey, believe me, I know what it is like at the beginning.” He lifted his hands up. “With the tight nit community like this.” He motioned at the colourful bunch of people at Molly’s.

“You and Hailey are official I take it?” I laughed nodding at his girlfriend who was now talking with Stella

“Yeah. Finally.”

“It took you what… Four years?” I smirk at him.

“It took a while, I give you that. But thankfully she made me finally realise that life is too fragile to wait.” He looks at Hailey smiling.

“Tell me about it.” I down the rest of my drink. “Should’ve maybe realised that earlier, but -”

“At least we did realise it.” He winked.

“Yeah.” My eyes found Sylvie, who is making her way to me with two drinks in her hands. “We are lucky.”

**SYLVIE’S POV**

The night had been wild. There was no karaoke, but that didn’t stop the girls from singing out loud, I even joined them couple of times, swaying around the floor, shouting the lyrics to Girl On Fire and other classics. Stella was talking with everybody and having the time of her life. Even Boden and Voight had let loose laughing together. Finally I sat on the barstool opposite to Severide, who had a whole table to himself as Stella was talking with Herrmann and Cindy.

“So Kelly. Now that she’s a lieutenant, when do you think you’ll pop the question?” I smirked.

“I’ll do it soon. I was thinking we’d go to the cabin next weekend and I’d do it there. What do you think?” He whispered and watched Stella laugh with Herrmann.

“She’ll love that!” I swooned. “It sounds super romantic.”

“You sound always so surprised?”

“Well yes and no. You’ve really come a long way since we met.” I laughed. “In a good way. But please do it quickly. It’s getting super hard not to tell her.”

“You just keep your mouth shut or I’ll spill the beans about you and Case.” He threatened me jokingly.

“I won’t say anything, I promise.” I lifted my hands in surrender. "But hey, to personal growth!” I lifted my glass and winked him.

“To personal growth! Yours and mine.” He laughed downing the rest of his drink. “I’ll go get something to drink.” He added as he stood up from the table, nodding at Foster who walked and sat on the opposite side of me.

* * *

“So, are you two finally together?” Kim asked sliding to the bench next to me resulting to me almost spitting the drink out of my mouth.

“Umm… What?” I asked, my eyes darting around the room, looking if anyone else than Foster, heard it.

“You and Casey?” She smirks.

“Uh… Okay, yeah we are. But we haven’t told anyone yet. I mean besides Kelly and Stella and Foster and I think Boden knows… And Chloe.” I list realising how long it actually is. “And I think Will and dr. Charles know too. And well actually Mackey, Gallo, Ritter and his boyfriend know too…” I sigh.

“So nobody?” She laughs.

“Yeah… Well we haven’t told many people, some just were in the wrong place at the wrong time.” I chuckled awkwardly.

“And everyone else can just tell?” She motioned.

“Yeah, pretty much.” Foster helped her out.

“Hey! We are not that transparent! We were like this when we were friends too!” I defended myself even if I really don’t know why I’m doing it, they are pretty spot on.

“Yeah and you looked like a couple back then too.” Em laughed. “Plus I hear you were pretty obvious with the accident.”

“Well… Okay you got me. But we are keeping it on the down low still.” I lowered my voice.

“I’m happy for you Sylvie. And I need details.” Kim smiled lifting her glass. “But first to Stella and you two.”

“To Stella.” I smile and my gaze finds Matt’s eyes amongst the crowd and he gives me a small nod and a smile as he is talking with Jay, Will, Kelly, Adam, Kevin and Cruz. He hadn’t moved all night from the table next to the door but people really made sure that he wouldn’t be alone.

“Toasting me?” I hear Stella’s voice from behind me and when I turn around I see her head on my shoulder.

“Damn you scared me!” I laugh. “Yes. I am sooo proud of my bestie.” I smile hugging her tightly.

“Thanks girl.” She hugs me back. “I mean. I’ll actually be a lieutenant!” She exclaimed next to my ear making me half deaf.

“You’ve been acting lieutenant for like two weeks already!” I laugh as she sits next to Kim.

“Yeah, but it’s different when I AM the lieutenant and not just ACTING lieutenant.” She explained, seemingly drunk already. “Isn’t Kelly handsome?” She slurs pointing at his direction.

“He is, very handsome.” Emily laughs taking another sip off her drink. “You seem drunk hun.”

“I’m not drunk!” Stella exclaimed out loud again. “He is really good in bed too.” She whispered loudly, but I think only our table plus apparently Hailey heard the outburst.

“Kelly is good in bed, huh?” She laughed as she walks closer.

“Extremely!” Kidd explained with her hands then wobbling a little taking a hold of Hailey with her other arm.

“Well that’s a bit more info than what I actually need.” I cringed downing the rest of my drink.

“I bet Casey is really good in bed too!” Stella exclaimed pointing at me with her finger and before anyone could slap a hand over her mouth the words were out in the open and few other people turned to our general direction, including the boys and Boden, Herrmann, Mouch and the wives. Everyones eyes darted from Stella to then me as I downed her drink too and then to Matt as he tried to avoid eye contact with everyone.

“Well…” Matt sighed shaking his head and Stella mouths ‘sorry’ to both of us.

“I knew it!” Cruz yelled slamming his fist to the table before sighing. “I can’t believe Capp won…”

“What?” Capp turned to us from the corner.

“You guessed the time right…” Mouch sighed taking out his wallet and at that point the we had the attention of the whole firehouse and few other people.

“Wait what…?” I looked around the room.

“Wait! When did you guys start dating? Because the bet was about that, not when we find out…” Herrmann pointed out from behind the bar.

“You bet on us?” Matt looked around the bar.

“Severide, cough it out. When did this happen?” Mouch nodded at him and Kelly just lifted his hands up looking at Matt. “Kidd! You have no filter, tell us.”

“Okay, why don’t I just tell you the date so our lovely lieutenant doesn’t spill any more details…” I laughed awkwardly. “Officially last Sunday.” I look at Matt who just smiles at me.

“That was your first date?” Gallo asked from another table.

“Yes it was.” Matt admitted.

"Wait, you knew candidate?" Mouch exclaimed looking hurt.

"Well we kinda pumped into them accidentally." Gallo explained. "But! Casey looked us so creepily we couldn't tell anyone."

"Who is 'we'?" Cruz asked looking around the room.

"Uh me and Ritter and Mackey..."

"You knew Ritter? I'll let you run drills for the rest of your life." Herrmann pointed at his candidate.

"Don't blame the kids, Matt was using his captain-voice." I laughed at the conversation. 

“Maybe I can forgive this time... Well hey, I’m happy for you two!” Herrmann lifts his glass. “It’s been long time coming!”

“Thanks Herrmann. We were going to tell you when I could come to 51, but…” Matt smiles.

“Sorry guys.” Stella laughs waving her empty glass in the air. “I need a refill since Brett drank mine.”

“Maybe a non-alcoholic this time?” I wink at Herrmann who just nods. “And a strong one for me!”

“How did this happen?” Hailey asks us.

“Uh well… It happened after my accident.” Matt explained.

“Yeah. I broke into his physio-appointment last week and the rest is history.” My eyes glued to his.

“Saving me once again.” Matt’s smile was warm and inviting.

After that everyone come by and hug me one by one. The whole croup was seemingly happy for us. I had been a bit scared about Herrmann since he was so close with Gabby, but everyone was so encouraging. Mouch couldn’t stop chanting ‘I told you so’ and Capp collected the money from everyone all night. It looked like the bet had crossed over to at least Platt and Maggie as well. Cruz gave one of those ‘treat her right, or else’ - speeches and the wives made me promise to attend one of their poker-nights some day. After a while I walked over to Matt and sat on the chair next to him.

“So, it looks like we don’t have to hide anymore.” I chuckled.

“Good. I don’t like to hide us.” He smiled and captured my lips with his when nobody was looking.

“Me neither.” I admitted after our kiss.

After that the night slowly died down and we all headed home by 1 am. Severide ended up carrying his girlfriend to his car and we took a taxi heading to my place hand in hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the break and the lack of editing, hopefully you liked it!   
> Be safe out there, one week until the next episode!


	15. Academy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt's first day at the Academy and Sylvie has a rough call.

**MATT’S POV**

It was the first day of the academy, first Monday of April. I myself felt like it was the first day of school. I had been without work for one month. And no, I don’t count physio as work, even though it was harder than fighting fires. I’d been at the hospital training-centre nearly every day for about five hours. Every time I was there I was reminded of the accident and every time I wanted to do something with Sylvie, I was reminded of how much this affected me and limited my choices. Still, the progress was going surprisingly well and if I don’t count the few angry moments, I was able to stay in good spirits.

“How are you feeling?” Sylvie’s question woke me as she was putting on some clothes and getting ready for work.

“Uh… Okay I guess. Kind of nervous to be honest.” I sighed looking at myself on her mirror.

“Well that’s normal. But you’ll be great, I just know it.” She smiled and gave me a small kiss.

“Yeah. Thanks for believing in me Syl. It means a lot.”

“Always.”

“So should we go? You’ll drop me off at the academy?” I question.

“Yes. And you’ll call me when you are done with your physio.” Sylvie asked, throwing her hair up on a loose bun. “If you can’t be with me on shift, at least you can call me and talk.” She winked.

* * *

“Hello sir” I greeted chief Tiberg as I made my way to his office.

“Good to see you Casey.” He looks up from his desk. “It’s good to have you here. How have you been?”

“I’m happy to be here, feeling better every day. So, tell me about today, what are we going to do?”

“So, you’ll be leading the theory classes, starting with firefighter safety and health.” He explained. “We’ll meet the other officers on the ground floor before we start.”

“Sounds good.” I smile backing to the corridor.

* * *

“Garcia! Good to see you!” I roll towards one of the lieutenants, who I knew from my days at the academy. He was one of the good ones, solid smoke-eater.

“Matt Casey! It’s been too long.” He smiled and extended an arm.

“For sure.” I laugh in response. 

“What happened Casey?” He asked as he eyed my chair, his eyebrows were burrowed.

“Uh, the big hotel fire last month. We had to get one last victim as a beam dropped on me.” I explained. “I’m on physio, but this is my job meanwhile.” I try to laugh about the subject. “But enough about me. How have you been? Still at 26?”

“Oh damn…” I could see the pity and sadness flash in his eyes. I could spot them by now, since it was the flash that I saw in everyones eyes. “Umm… Yeah I’m at 26. Lieutenant of the Truck.”

“Oh that’s good to hear. Busy house?”

“Mostly gang-related incidents so the ambo is busier than us firefighters.” I explained. “This is Anthony, he is lieutenant at 43.” He motioned at the man next to him before introducing me to him. “This is captain Matt Casey from firehouse 51.”

“Nice to meet you.” I extended my arm and shook his hand.

“You too. You’re a bit of a legend in the community. You whole house is.” Anthony laughed.

“Our house is phenomenal. Solid smoke-eaters everybody, couldn’t have hoped for a better one.” I smiled.

“Okay, welcome to the academy instructors. It’s good to have you all here. Let’s go over the basics…” Tiberg started the speech.

* * *

I watched as the nearly fifty candidates rushed to their spots inside the academy ground floor. I sat on my chair next to chief Tiberg who shouted orders to the young and scared kids.

“Speed! Come on, come on! Too slow!” The chief shouted as the candidates formed lines in front of us. “Class, ten-hut!!” And so the candidates took position and focused their attention to the front wall.I could still remember the days I wore that same grey shirt and shook in the line with Severide behind me.

“Candidates, welcome to the Chicago Fire Academy.” Tiberg shouted from next to me, probably the same way for the past ten or so years that he’s been leading in the academy. “Congratulations on your acceptance! Here are the six main-instructors you have during this time. All of these men and women are highly considered members of the Chicago Fire Department and all six of them decide if you are going to be firefighters.But this is not like the normal academy. We don’t joke. You make mistakes, that’s fine. You make too many, every instructor has the right to boot you out. Got that?”

The collective answer was something like ‘yes sir’. I took in the candidates. I looked at every single one of them. The number of female-candidates had risen enormously. This time there was about ten women, meaning ten times as much as in my time. I tried not to make assumptions based on the candidates’ demeanour, but it was hard. There were some extremely timid ones and some cocky, which is even worse in this profession.

“From the left you have Lieutenant Melanie Bridgers, Lieutenant Phil Garcia and Lieutenant Anthony Greene who will be conducting your physical drills. Captain Nathan Williams will be your instructor though first aid training. Squad Lieutenant Marie Smith will be conducting your rescue training. And last Captain Matthew Casey will be your instructor trough theory courses with the help of his assistants.” I nod as Tiberg mentions my name and make eye contact with few candidates, who are seemingly baffled with their wheelchair-ridden instructor.

After that the chief proceeds to go through some basic info that isn’t in the binders that everyone got as they were reporting to the academy. I use that time to continue my assessments of each candidate. Finally this comes to the end.

“Okay. Then. We will follow Captain Casey to the bigger training room and he’ll go through some basics before you’ll go over the basic equipment, get to your turnout gear and start the physical training.”

So I lead the way to the bigger hall where the candidates take their places sitting.

“So like the Chief said. My name is Captain Matt Casey. Welcome to the Chicago Fire Academy. This job isn’t just a job and the firehouse isn’t just a workplace. This is something more. You have passed your physical and you have passed every other test. But you still need to pass this. So you need to have drive. You need to have grip. You have the duty to serve and protect the good people of Chicago every shift you are on. That is why you are here. That is why the motto is ‘we’re there when you need us’. This is the starting line. After this, all is in your hands. This is an incredible profession, but it has to be your calling. If you are not sure if this is your dream. You are in the wrong place. A second of hesitation, a tiny mistake with not listening your superior can be the one thing which makes or breaks you, that can be it.”

“So. If you are scared, you can get through it. If you freeze in the fire the first time. You can still be a firefighter. If that happens again, you can’t. If you are too cocky. You can’t. Full stop. This isn’t a job where you can fake it till you make it. This job needs humility.” I continue my speech. “You aren’t more special than the rest of the world, you have the honour of protecting the people, you have the privilege to save them when the need be. This is an incredible profession, but every ounce of cockiness and vainglory needs to go. There is no room for that in my class or any other for that matter. This academy will no doubt be the best time of your life so far, but it won’t be if you don’t do the work.” I finish my speech.

“Now. To the task at hand. First thing, we’ll be going through safety and firefighter health. So. You have your binders with a book and do take notes.” I look at the candidates pointedly. Everyone roams their stuff hastily.

* * *

I was waiting when this moment would come and no surprise, the day was about half way done and I was rolling out of the class when I heard some candidates speculate my condition.

“Krhm.” I cleared my throat and the croup of five candidates turned around. “Okay! Everyone!” I yelled to get their attention.

“It seems like my wheelchair is getting a lot of attention from everyone so I’ll make this brief. I was on a call about a month ago, bringing the last victim out of a hotel when a beam dropped on me. I had an epidural hematoma, the second time in my career. I was taken to the hospital for emergency surgery which left me paralysed. That is the reason why I transferred from being the truck captain to the academy.” I explained and got some embarrassed nods in response. “I am telling this to you so you don’t need to whisper about this behind my back anymore. And for the record it’s not extremely classy either way.” I muttered before turning around and heading to the elevators. My classes were done for the day and I needed to head over to the hospital training centre.

**SYLVIE’S POV**

“So Sylvie… Can I get your help with something?” Kelly peaked from his office, Stella had ran through the bunk room just few minutes before since truck had been called to police assist.

“Shoot!” I smiled as I sat on his bed.

“Can you ask Stella to come with you for some weekend getaway next weekend?”

“Sure… Why?”

“I’m thinking about asking her then and if you make a plan with her and maybe even bring her to my cabin she wouldn’t straight up assume the proposal…” A smile crept on his face and I could see his eyes sparkle

“Omg yes! Of course I’ll do that! This is so exciting!” I exclaimed. “Do you have the ring here?”

“Yeah, you want to see it?” He rummaged around his drawers as I nodded eagerly.

“Oh it’s beautiful. She will absolutely love it Kelly!”

The ring really was perfect for Stella. It was a beautiful gold ring with a halo-cut diamond.

“I thought that this one can be a bit more extravagant and she can wear our wedding-rings at work.”

“You really are a big softy nowadays.” I laughed and patted his cheek. “I mean you are practically glowing.”

“Shush now… So you’ll do it?”

“Of course. Anything for my favourite couple!” Me and Kelly had become more and more close this past month after Matt’s accident. We had been to his physio together, we drank coffee in the morning before shift every time I slept at theirs, he had quickly become my Chicago-brother.

“Oh Breeeeett.” I heard Mouch holler from the bunk room so I opened the door and Kelly put the ring in his drawer. “You have some flowers!”

“What?” I asked with wide eyes and saw him carry a beautiful bunch of violet hydrangeas. “Oh these are so pretty!”

“Casey must miss you” Mouch smiled. “How has he been?”

“Good, this is his first day at the academy and physio is going well.” I said taking the flowers. “Thanks Mouch” I sat on my bunk picking the small card that was in the bouquet.

- _Thanks for the pep talk. Have a safe shift, I love you. - M._

Now this earns him some big brownie points.

_Ambulance 61. Man down from unknown causes. 51 Washington avenue._

I put the flowers on my desk and ran to our rig.

* * *

It was about eight in the evening when Matt called me finally.

“Hi, how was work?”

“It was nice actually. I really think that I’ll like it there. Now that they don’t whisper about my chair the whole day.” He humphed.

“I’m so glad you like it. Did you go to the hospital today?”

“Yeah I did. It was okay.” I could hear him sigh on the other end.

“What? You seem down.” I asked

“It was just one of those days. I fell down and cut my hand.” He explained. “How about you. How’s the shift been?”

“Uhh… It has been okay.” I answered vaguely. To be perfectly honest the last call had been grim. An addict mom and a kid in the middle of all those drugs.

“Okay?” I could hear his scepticism through the phone.

“I’m fine. Just one of those days.”I sighed. “Someone sent me flowers tho and that helped a little.”

“Oh did they now? You liked them?” He laughed.

“I loved them Matt -“ I started but like usual, the bells went off.

“You need to go. I’ll see you tomorrow. Be safe, I love you.” Matt commented.

“Love you too. Bye.” I answered quickly before sitting on the drivers seat. 

* * *

I got home from work and could barely keep my eyes open. As I opened my door I heard a voice from the kitchen.

“Hi!” Matt shouted and I saw him wave. “Come on, I made breakfast.”

“Oh you didn’t have to!” I sighed and set my bag on the floor before heading to him. “What have you done? There is so much food!” The table was filled with pancakes, fruit, eggs and anything one can cook up.

“You had a rough call and I thought I’d pamper you a bit since my work won’t start until one. I even asked Gallo for this beer-pancake-recipe.”

“How did you know?”

“You sounded off on the phone so I texted Severide if something had happened and he filled me in. Said that you had a hard call.” He tilted his head and extender his hand to grab mine. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“It was just one of those. I’m fine.” I try to brush it off.

“You don’t have to talk about it but I know it would make you feel better.”

“Umm… we went into this building. A neighbour had called us since she had spotted a mom laying on the floor, face down. She had OD’d and so like usual we rolled her over and then I heard a baby cry. The house was filled with drugs and the baby was on her back in the middle. I mean if she were just a tiny bit bigger she would’ve been able to crawl and would’ve gotten to those drugs.” The tears were inevitable and I sobbed as I continued. “The mom was gone, we weren’t able to revive her.”

“Oh honey… I’m so sorry.” Matt hugged me tightly “What happened to the baby.”

“Uh, we brought her to the hospital and called the cops to the scene. Apparently the mom and dad had joined custody, he had fought, but wasn’t able to keep the rightful mom from his baby. We saw him. He seemed nice.“ I explained giving Matt a small smile. 

His smile was so tender and soft as he smoothed the fabric on my back. “Well that’s good to hear.”

“I just can’t fathom how the system can be so fucked up that they give the baby to a mother like that.” I vented.

“Believe me, I know… The system sucks.” Matt hugged me tightly.

“Thank you. This has helped.” I smiled pulling away from the hug looking at the food. “And this looks amazing.”

“Anything for you. I still have some brownie points to be collected before I’m even after the time we were apart.”

“Oh babe, you are more than even, but I won’t say no to this kind of treatment.” I winked. He really has been amazing this past month. “The flowers were amazing, I still can’t believe you remembered.”

“I remember every single time we’ve talked. Of course I remember the flowers.” He smiled

“You are so sweet, I love you babe.” I closed the small gap and captured his mouth with mine. The kissing was as easy as breathing and everyday life felt like we should’ve done it our whole life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! The next chapter will be Stellaride-centric and I'm really excited for that.


	16. Extreme heat...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stella is just about to find out just how much one call can actually change someones life.

**KIDD’S POV**

I was just falling asleep. It was probably about 10 pm and back to back calls plus paperwork had me busy all day. All I could do was think about the spa trip I was going on after this shift. Like an angel on earth Sylvie had invited me to join her and after all this work a girls trip would just about sent me flying. I peeked at Kelly’s office and saw that he, like every other person inside this firehouse, had switched the lights off. I managed to close my eyes, but just for a minute since the bells went off, singing my song.

_Squad 3, Truck 81, Engine 51, Ambulance 61. Housefire. 3600 South Hermitage._

Groaning I stood up and ran to 81.

“There goes the seize…” I sighed to Gallo who yawned as Mouch started the truck.

“I know… the minute I get some sleep the damn bells always go off…” Mouch sighed rubbing his eyes.

“Yup… Just my luck. Hopefully this won’t take the whole night and we can get to house and sleep…” Approaching the scene we saw a two-story townhouse which was engulfed in flames. “Well we’re not going to have much time there…”

“Woah… This is bad…” Gallo’s eyes were wide.

“Damn…” Missy followed Gallo’s gaze and saw the huge flames lighting the dark night. The light blue house looked beautifully old, the lawn was well maintained and a picket fence surrounded the beautiful rose bushes. It had every indication of having a big family inside. And a big family meant high stakes and a lot of work in a small amount of time we had. 

* * *

“We all need to focus… We’ll have to move fast.” I tried to focus up as we rolled to the scene. Quickly I jumped out of the truck and adjusted my gear. I assessed the situation. The wooden house was surrounded by flames, the people inside wouldn’t survive long. A neighbour had spotted the flames and called 911. He was standing on the curb with the rest of the neighbours, Clarence started to usher everyone back as soon as we got to the scene.

“Okay…” Boden started but was quickly interrupted as a young girl ran out of the building, coughing. I assume that her bedroom must’ve been on the first floor. From the second it would’ve been hard to come on your own.

“My family is still there!” The red-haired girl coughed in her pink pyjamas. “You need to get them.”

“How many are there?” Boden asked guiding the girl to 61.

“My parents and my two brothers. My brothers’ rooms are on the first floor, and my folks is on the second.” The girl explained frantically as Boden kept his hand on her back, guiding her to safety.“You need to get them!”

“Honey, they’ll get to them. Now you need to sit. You’ve taken a lot of smoke, breathe here for me.” Brett instructed her and Boden turned to the rest of us.

“Squad three clear out the bottom floor, truck 81 you got the upstairs. I want two lines in there after them. Smoke is turning black but we have confirmed victims still inside, we don’t have much time. Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” Boden ordered from the lawn.

“Mouch, Gallo, Missy, behind.” I ordered as we moved to the door masking up I stole a quick glance at Kelly who nodded like he was saying ‘ _be safe’_ much like every time we were on a call.

“Ritter, Doherty, Clarence, drop two lines. Let’s drown this thing.” Herrman shouted in his usual manner.

“Tony, Capp. Round the back. Cruz by my side, We’ll take the middle.” I heard Kelly order on the radio. 

As we entered the house we were greeted with a huge photo of the whole family, everyone with beautiful bright smiles. The all American family. Both of the parents were redheaded like the kids and in the photo they all had matching black and white shirts. Wishing that fraction of a second I had time looking at the photo I could imagine me and Kelly in the spot of those parents, with kids of our own. We had talked about getting married and even having a family some day. We both had had some depressing luck on that side and our Homelife hadn’t been all roses. Still even though Kelly was a bit unsure wether he would be able to be a good dad, I was sure he would. He was as good a man as god ever created. I had no doubt in my mind that we’d make an incredible family. Having to push the fleeting thought out of my mind I glanced at the neat home around me, filled with toys.

So we climbed to the top floor which was already filled with thick smoke. The old wooden stairs screeched under our boots. “Fire-department, call out!” Gallo yelled as we entered the hallway. The visibility was close to nothing. “Mouch, Missy, check out the bedroom on the left! Gallo with me.” I instructed and we separated to what I assumed was a guest room, based on the neatly made bed and less than few personal photos. I walked around it and peeked under it. “This side is clear.”

“This too. They are not here.” Gallo reported and we turned to head towards Mouch and Missy.

“Over here! Missy help me out.” Mouch ordered the young firefighter and she made her way to him taking the woman’s legs. They start to make their way to the stairs. Meanwhile me and Gallo search the whole room looking at every corner possible. The man from the family photos wasn’t upstairs…

“Can’t find the dad!” Gallo said to his radio as we searched for him and I sighed grabbing my radio

“Top floor is clear. But couldn’t find the dad.” I reported to chief as me and Gallo walked down the stairs and opened the front door on the lawn I saw the squad and four ambulances. The two of them were packing up to take the brothers to the hospital. 21 was taking in the mom and our medics were standing on the curb waiting for the dad to be brought up. If only we’d found him.

“My dad sometimes works in the basement.” The girl yelled from the lawn, she had insisted on waiting for her whole family.

“Truck, go!” Boden called and the crew followed me back in.

* * *

“Firedepartment, Call out!” I yelled and we all started to look around the basement. The smoke was so thick I couldn’t see a damn thing. It took me a while to actually make out the figure of a large boat. The kind a NCIS agent might build in his basement. My obsession with Gibbs had to step aside so I ducked and scouted the floor. Nobody was near me.

“You’ve got less than five minutes Kidd.” I could hear Boden’s voice in my radio.

“Got it chief.” I replied and started to look for my men. “You heard the chief, let’s make this quick!”

I opened few doors but behind them was only some cleaning equipment and some saws.

“Over here!” Mouch called out from the corner. I quickly shut the doors and made my way through the room. The heavy built man was laying on the floor and Mouch and Gallo began to lift the man up and head through the back exit.

“We’ll get out quicker from here.” Gallo stated.

I glanced quickly around the room meaning to follow them outside but before I could do that I noticed the bottles and bottles of some sort of gas near the fire. Some of them already whistling. I turned my head and saw Missy help Gallo and Mouch carry the last victim trough the doorway. I called out to my radio.

“Everybody out, this thing’s about to blow!” I didn’t have time to take one step till I heard a loud bang and all went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes some much needed stellaride-drama that I'm super excited about!


End file.
